LGBT Vocation

Do they even stop to think?

2012-02-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

A conversation several days ago, with one of the living blessings who has become very dear to me. We live in different countries: until recently we’d only ever connected through the blogosphere and e-mails. But, as we’ve grown to know each other, and shared several heart-felt telephone conversations, V. has become a treasured partner in the tortured/difficult/exciting transformation our Church is undergoing.

V. is a university academic: literature; with believe it or not a doctoral thesis on Spenser’s Fairie Queen. She is also a ‘convert. Having grown up in a defiantly secular home, where my Dad was a physics researcher, and Mum was a hospital administrator.’

V. fell in love with the Anglican tradition because of our liturgy- ‘its transcendence. It’s only recently I’ve got into the history, issues and theology behind it and the insufficiency for our complicated times of much of the thinking and worldviews which gave us this poetic beauty.’

When V. called she was tears, having read a news story of the on-going antics in the British Synod over the proposed ‘protection’ of the delicate sensitivities of priests and parishes unable to accept the oversight of women bishops in the English Church.

‘Rowan is actually tying the English Church into a legislative straight-jacket to normalize misogyny within the Church.’

I listened.

V. had apparently picked up the story in what I believe is called her ‘news feed’. One of the keywords is Anglican, another is Episcopal Church. Which is actually quite surprising, because four years ago, when everything was gearing up for Lambeth 2008, and it became clear that the Giant of New Hampshire was going to be excluded from the councils under the Great Big Blue circus tent, V. resigned from her post as People’s Warden and had her name removed from the parish lists. When school started that fall V. became a the mainstay at the twice weekly Eucharist at the University where she teaches; eventually becoming a server, ‘ an experience I still find beyond words,’ she’d told me only months earlier when we’d also discussed the possibility she might be discovering a vocation to the priesthood in her own life.

‘You know, I’m actually wondering has Rowan... bumped his head or something?’ she eventually asked. ‘Do he and the Archbishop of York really think they can get away with this? Didn’t they learn anything from the scandal over the appointment of the new Bishop of Southwark?’

I listened.

‘You know what I’m thinking... Something you said, one of the first times I called you- about one of your posts... How sometimes Church can be like a toxic parent.. How even when you leave home, you still try to keep an eye on them- covertly, or at a safe distance.’

'Guess that explains your news feed,' I kidded her.

‘So what do I do?’ she asked. ‘What am I supposed to do with this... latest mess?’

I waited, to see if there might be more before suggesting that the first thing- the only thing really she could do: to essentially unplug- from her news feed at least- to take some time for serious self-care. And perhaps, when she’s ready, to write about it.

‘You know, I used to take real comfort in the fact that the Anglican tradition wasn’t one of those churches that expected you to check your brain at the door... That people could disagree, and still live into something larger- the Living Body of Christ.’

‘But when I see these stunts- there’s no other word for it... I really wonder.’

Our conversation went on a lot longer and on to other topics, but even after more than an hour on the practice bench, I still ached for my friend’s deep existential pain.

Not the first time I have come across it in fellow people of faith, or perhaps most sadly in fellow Anglicans. Sitting there, after we’d hung up, I thought of the manifestations of that same deep trauma and pain expressed in the lives of too many of our poz clients here in Quebec as they faced their approaching deaths in the first two decades of AIDS. Bone-deep, defining pain, yes, most commonly experienced through the excesses of the Church of Rome during its years of excessive power here in Québec: the madness of the Church at its worst lived out in the agonies, fear and pain of too many gay men- but also in the anger, indifference or bitterness of the current unchurched majority in this province today.

Do they have any idea of the consequences of their actions? I asked myself after V.'s call, thinking most particularly of Canterbury and York? Remembering the scandal of Lambeth 2008, the rejection of Jeffrey John’s vocation to the ecclesia, the insult to +Katherine’s office when she visited Britain, and now this. Frightened old men in purple skirts, with their big rings and pectoral crosses. Only a few days later, a priest I truly cherish shared with me the cheeky theory that perhaps sometimes the shock of consecration is too much for certain individuals, dissolving their backbone during the laying on of hands. I’ve also heard another theory- that it’s the weight of all that big jewellery, the insignias of their office, or perhaps they’re believing all those complimentary headlines they wished someone would write about them?

Whatever, it’s worse than tragic, when one sits with the loss- not even for the Church, but for the individuals who can no longer live with what the church is doing to them, to the people they know and love, or even just in the headlines.

One of the other aspects of the current scandal in the English Synod V. and I went on to discuss is the embarrassing silence from both of our respective provinces on the issue of women bishops in the English Church. In the last several years, as we know only too well Canterbury, York; several African provinces, and un-numbered self-appointed voices of Anglican orthodoxy have flayed the American and Canadian churches with opinion, threats, invective, and most sadly with insults.

Not that I am suggesting that ++Fred or ++Katherine respond in kind. However, with so much of the current scandal in the English Synod making international headlines, it is my sense that both the Canadian Primate and the Presiding Bishop could provide an important public example by publically reassuring the English Church of their prayers in this matter, as our experiences of sisters in the Canadian and American episcopacy have been some of the greatest gifts of the Holy Spirit recently experienced by our provinces. A public message, not only for the English Church, but for the likes of my friend V.

In closing, I want to cite three blog posts of recent days. None of which received the credit they each really deserve. Each of them by individuals of integrity and faith who I cherish. Three women within our Church, who nourish, challenge and bless me on a regular basis.

Two of these cherished sisters are priests- awesome priests, the third is my personal Queen of the South; each of them living gifts to our Church- living proof of the insulting wrong-headedness of the current treatment of women with vocations to the episcopacy within the English Church. Examples of the high price this proposed institutionalized misogyny will continue to inflict on the English Church.

from Wounded Bird
http://thewoundedbird.blogspot.com/2012/02/odds-and-ends-from-press-on-women.html

from Telling Secrets
http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2012/02/whats-in-it-for-you.html

from Leave it where Jesus flang it
http://leaveitlay.blogspot.com/2012/02/we-should-make-church-itself-sign-of.html

2012-01-18T07:28:00.000-08:00

An interesting call this past week-end: from Jamie and his incredible grandmother Hazel.

I’ve mentioned Jamie before in the early days of this space. The two of us were brought together more than a couple of years ago now, when, in his late forties Jamie began coming out to his family and friends. His eldest sister had been the first, and when she saw how anguished but determined he was, she somehow thought of me- who she’d met at a conference on organizational transformation several years previously.

This time, when I asked Jamie & Hazel if I might share our conversation in this space he told me ‘Of course- only no more initials.’ And when he’d explained to his grandmother what he was referring to she agreed, ‘I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,’ she told me. ‘Yeah’, Jamie interjected, ‘Grandma’s out too,’ sending all three of us into self-perpetuating gales of laughter.

But about the call this week-end.

For those who might not remember- Jamie is a very successful lawyer, who abandoned government law when 'the Bushes and their ilk' began spending ‘too much time on Pennsylvania Avenue.’ A self-confessed workaholic hiding the fear of his God-given sexuality behind achievement, he soon recycled himself into working for an international non-government agency which moved him to Europe.

Jamie was back in the U.S. this past week-end however: for the ninety-third birthday of his beloved maternal grandmother: the truly remarkable Hazel. And Jamie wasn’t travelling alone either- more on that later!

It was late enough when they called that Jamie apologized and expressed concern that he might have hauled me out of sleep. But it had been long enough since anything more than affectionate, electronic Christmas wishes that I knew it had to be important, so I’d slid to the floor, resting my back against the bed and listened. Within moments, Willie the unconditional daschund had shifted under the covers and was sympathetically resting his head on my left shoulder.

It turns out that after a long pre-celebration- just the two of them- Jamie had got to sharing details of his current life with his grandmother. Turns out, Hazel has obviously giving a lot of thought to her cherished grandson’s life and had questions- ‘lots of questions,’ Jamie assured me with a chuckle. ‘Why had he waited so long?’ ‘Who in their rather large family had been to chief obstacle to Jamie ever feeling comfortable enough, confident enough to share his deepest truth with the family?’

Turns out there was one question Jamie was asking my help on.

But first a little background. Turns out Hazel’s paternal grandfather was a ‘rather well-known’ Episcopalian bishop. Which of course meant our family essentially forgot about Church once grandpa... had passed on.' Sadly, apparently Hazel’s father never really ‘found himself professionally.’ He was however adamant about his three daughters all receiving a university education. ‘For the longest while, I wasn’t sure I wanted –or even needed to marry,’ Hazel told me, ‘so I ended up getting my PhD. . Taught university for a very short while, got married,’ she admitted with a chuckle, ‘and then went into the world of publishing.’

Hazel’s only child- Jamie’s mother, died only months short of his ninth birthday. In Jamie’s words, it took his father one disastrous re-marriage (‘too soon’) before he found the ‘dream step-mother’ for his two children. Hazel however, largely through her determined efforts never lost touch with her grandchildren, sharing, among other things Jamie’s first taste of Europe and ‘some of the most incredible holidays you can imagine.’ (Jamie’s account).

Oh, and that one question they’d called me with?

Hazel, after obviously a lot of research and thought wanted to know whether Jamie thought ‘same-gender-loving folks would always have to be labelled gay- queer, or that other horrible clinical term? ’

Did she possibly have an easier question we could start with I asked to peals of laughter on the other end of the phone.

‘Hey, my Gran’s no light-weight,’ Jamie interjected on the extension.

The conversation which followed felt so... sacred. One of those times when a lot more is being addressed than just the obvious; one of those spontaneous exercises of discernment where Spirit sometimes works unimagined healing, bonds are deepened and life offers itself even more unconditionally because of ‘understanding.’

Without going into my personal particulars Hazel and I identified several of the more obvious features of the landscape of growing up gay in my generation; the costs and mechanics of ‘otherness’ and the degrees & varieties of fear behind most homophobic violence.

I also reminded her of the remarkable transformation of our LGBT tribe with the lived horror of AIDS: the personal transformations, the unexpected healings, the discovery of gay voice(s) - the slightly ironic freedom found in taking a stand- even in the face of so much terrible loss.

‘But what about Jamie and Michael, are their kids always going to have to live with folks calling their dads gay... queer or worse?’

I told you Jamie hadn’t travelled solo, and warned you his grandmother had a talent for questions that would stop you in your tracks.

After a deep breath,(on my end of the line), we eased ourselves into an exploration of the gifts, strength and blessings of ‘owned otherness.’ How when our people own their deepest truth they bring an incredible load of unexpected experience, lived truth and talents to every situation and conversation- gifts, whose absence has previously impoverished everyone’s experience; the solutions or discoveries a group might be working towards; or the event they may be celebrating.

Hazel had heard about blessed Ed Bacon on national television telling Ms. Winfrey that being born gay is a God from God.

Which led us to a whole discussion/celebration of the prophetic role LGBT folks are playing within our own denomination.

Turns out Hazel had even met our +Gene. During one of his first visits as bishop to her city. ‘This was before I really knew about Jamie,’ she told me. ‘But when I’d read about his election and consecration, it was so clear to me that God was truly at work here. When I heard he was coming, I knew I had to go see for myself.’

‘One of the most wonderful services I’ve ever attended,’ she told me. ‘The cathedral was packed with the most incredible people- many of them probably gay couples, but I wasn’t trying to decode the congregation. The energy in the cathedral was.... incredible. I didn’t know whether I expected the sound of a rushing of wings or for the roof of the cathedral to peel back for a glimpse of the stars, but something was definately happening.’

‘The incredible thing is when it came time to go up to receive communion, the line on the side where Bishop Gene was administering was so much longer, and as they got closer to the altar other folks kept switching over... I must have been a real mess; there’d been tears during his sermon, when he spoke of his understanding of what God wants for the Church. And afterwards, the line of people wanting to shake his hand at the door was so long and slow I had to sit down- at least a couple of times, but when it was my turn, I couldn’t stop tearing up. I kissed his hand and simply said thank-you, though I’m not sure he could hear me, I was that full up.’

Having been there myself- July 27, 2006- Hazel couldn’t know I too have known those tears of incredulous joy. Friday night, it was a moment or two before she continued.

‘There was actually a reception, after the service- for people to meet the Bishop. But I went to my car and just sat there for the longest time. It may sound strange, but afterward I realized I guess I was feeling the reception... didn’t quite belong to me- that it was for the folks who had paid a price for who they are, and who had kept insisting – on the value, the validity of their own lives.'

It was about then that Jamie, on the extension, with real feeling in his voice had interjected, ‘Oh Grandma.’

Which is where I guess I get to tell you about Michael.

In the first months- still essentially in orientation for his posting to Europe- Jamie had met Michael while boarding for a flight between Zurich and London. Michael is a British-born PhD., teaching in Britain and working with the U.N. agency to end famine relief.

Michael is also an ‘out gay Anglican, who has been much heartened by the developments in the American church,’ as he told me when we first spoke more than two years ago.

Jamie and Michael are now legally married, in the process of disentangling Michael from his academic commitments to work full time in famine relief, and have already set up a shared home which has been approved for adoption of their first child- a mixed race daughter who should be with them fulltime by this summer.

Almost ten years younger than Jamie, Michael and he are talking of a family of four. ‘Two kiddies and their dads,’ Michael explained when we'd first spoken.

‘You won’t be able to call them ‘kiddies’ for long,’ I'd teased.

I have no idea how long the three of us talked Friday night. Intentionally, I didn’t check the LED digits on my bedside clock before folding myself back under the covers with the ever-patient Willie.

Shortly before we hung up Hazel asked ‘why do I feel like this conversation has been one long, very real prayer?’

Neither Jamie nor I answered.

However, I did suggest to Hazel that perhaps it was time she told Jamie about ‘the Love beyond our wildest imagining.’

‘I remember-‘ Hazel told me, her voice equal parts amazement and joy. ‘That’s when Bishop Gene... broke my heart for the first time in his sermon. I was a blubbering mess,’ she reminded me.

‘Love you both,’ I reminded them before hanging up.

‘I love you too,’ Hazel confessed, at least slightly amazed by her own admission.

As promised, Jamie and Michael called again, on Sunday afternoon. Hazel was napping.

‘You wouldn’t believe Grandma,’ Jamie told me. ‘After church this morning, we went out for brunch, and she was asking Michael and I if there wasn’t some sort of organization for people like her- with rainbow blessed children she called us,' he added with a chuckle. 'Ninety–three years old and she’s talking about getting in touch with P-Flag, to see if there’s anything she can do to help.’

Apparently Hazel’s birthday celebrations were quite the occasion. Hosted by Jamie and Michael; Jamie’s sisters, their partners and families all made it- along with more than seventy guests.

‘But you want to know something,’ Jamie asked, with real feeling in his voice. ‘The biggest gift this week-end, for me at least, was our call to you Friday night... Michael had gone to bed, and the two of us were sitting up with the last of our first bottle of celebratory champagne-‘

‘Only the first of many,’ Michael interjected with a chuckle. ’And never mind Grandma, you should see my husband, I’ve never known him so....’

“Alive?’ I suggested when Michael was reaching for an apt descriptor. ‘Love beyond our wildest imagining,’ I reminded them.

‘Indeed,’ Michael responded after a moment, perhaps not quite sure what he was agreeing to.

Their e-mail, late Tuesday morning?
‘Home. LOVE YOU. Just spoke to Grandma on the phone and she sends her love too. Jamie & Michael’

Empire: Insanity & Excess

2012-01-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

Is this bothering anyone else?

NY Times leads this morning with the story of Lambeau Field Wisconsin:
subteranean pipes filled with a patented solution
imported heat lights, running 24/7
suspended overhead:
high enough that
over-extended grass can be nurtured, groomed & pampered,

‘The “frozen tundra” is a myth. The ground at Lambeau Field, legendary home of the Green Bay Packers, is heated. It has not been frozen during a football game since it was dubbed the “frozen tundra” more than 40 years ago.’

All
so the cleats – CLEATS
of superannuated thugs in overpriced protective gear-
so the CLEATS take hold
providing enough traction for the spectacle of televised ‘sports’
so the boys with their brewskies, across the nation can lose themselves
in suds and spectacle long enough
to get through another day.

“The payoff and the benefit is now,” Johnson said. “We have a more full canopy and more grass than we would without it. The green color is a side benefit. That’s aesthetic. The main benefit is stronger, healthier grass, thicker grass in places where it’s usually difficult to grow.”

WORLD HUNGER?
CHILD POVERTY?
ENVIRONMENTAL DEGREDATION?
but on the front page of the NY Times it’s worthy of headlines-

‘The ground below Lambeau Field has been heated since 1967’

And in Haiti, Turkey, Darfour they’re still in tents
Cholera anyone?

‘That changed in 2011, thanks to 24 hours a day of artificial sunlight provided by 1,000-watt bulbs’
“It’s just like playing in the summer on the grass,” Green Bay offensive lineman T. J. Lang said. “It’s never hard, it’s never frozen.”

Having objectified everyone/everything else
Nature’s is the problem de jour
‘fooling Mother Nature’ they call it
and damn the cost.

‘Not only did the lights cast a warm and eerie glow from inside Lambeau Field through the night, they extended the growing season for the grass well past the normal date of dormancy.’

This from the self-anointed ‘greatest nation on earth’
and damn the cost;

‘Johnson said grass needs three vital elements to grow well: warm soil (check, thanks to Mr. Lombardi), good light (check, thanks to Mr. van Vuuren) and warm air (hmmm). By mid-December, when daytime temperatures rarely rise above freezing in Green Bay, the lights and warm soil are not enough to offset the frigid air.’

The show must go on
(all together now) and damn the cost.

‘The contraption fools Mother Nature. Johnson used the lights 24 hours a day from October to early December, moving them every other day between games.’

The cleats- THE CLEATS
and damn the cost

this
out-distances words: even
my limited vocabulary for rage or obscenity

‘For 30 years, those coils kept Lambeau Field soft, with one exception.’

Oh America, I
fear/for you. How long
How long O Lord?
can Nature tollerate
your heated cleats?

Some days... 2012

2012-01-11T04:47:00.000-08:00

Some days it can be a real mindful breath-by-breath practice the far side of any good reason not to give up and just walk away.

I’m talking about our Church here- our denomination, our Communion. The institution rather than the living reality of being a member of the Body of Christ.

Over the holidays there was a painful call from C., a life-long Anglican, who only since the death of her husband has she really found her own place within our tradition ‘as a living/loving/reading and critical-thinking Anglican'. Only to find it all seriously threatened by the ‘latest hi-jinks’ of their interim rector.

Last fall he was seriously uncomfortable with a suggestion the Bible Study Group study Ehrman’s ‘Jesus Interrupted.’ But this- this latest...’ Christmas night, through tears she told me over the phone that probably for the first time in her 68 years she’d missed Christmas midnight mass in her home parish. Instead she’d surprised one of her granddaughters and the granddaughter’s partner by joining them at the local MCC service.

Just days before the feast of the Incarnation, there’d been another pain-filled, long-distance conversation with L., a pastor I’ve been in fellowship with for several months now. Last summer L. had felt he could no longer live with the 'hollowness and patent in-authenticity' of his current charge. Strangely enough, he is currently on sabbatical, living in another city and worshiping with a ‘rather unusual’ Episcopalian congregation' and exploring Zen practice. It was through the latter community L. was put in touch with me; by one of my on-line sangha friends who thought L. might benefit from contact with a fellow Christian practitioner.

For L., being away from parish ministry this Christmas ‘broke me. I’ve never before felt so unnecessary in my whole life. But the miracle of the Incarnation has never been more real, more raw or more immediate.’ L. ended up spending Christmas Eve bundled up outdoors, walking under the stars-‘weeping myself into what appears to be something new.’ L. ended up making his Christmas communion at the 8a.m. Eucharist, Christmas Day, and tells me though he has no idea where all this might be leading he’s never felt more alive.

Not untouched by recent events, I admit my own Christmas practice this year, like that of many others was on what might aptly be described as pretty rocky ground. The images and accounts of the Duarte Park arrests, preceded by TWS’ inability or refusal to meet or negotiate with the occupiers- even with the generous offer of the good offices of Bishop Packard resonated only too painfully for me with memories of the shameful treatment of the Occupy London demonstrators; the prophetic sacrifice of Father Gilles Fraser; and St Paul’s embarrassing concerns over their ‘lost revenue.’

One of the wealthiest parishes in the world and a landmark cathedral- extra-ordinarily wealthy itself; the one resorting to property law, the other worrying about its tourist revenue, while the purple shirts of Lambeth continue to threaten us all with the greatest-misnomer-yet in this century - a game plan to impose their own Vatican-like reign of punnishment & enforcement. Hard as I try, it’s beyond me to find even the slightest suggestion of the Body of Christ alive and at work in any of this.

For me personally, all this recent self-inflicted bruising of Anglican credibility resonated with my memories of another recent date of Anglican ignominy- during the 2008 Lambeth Conference. July 27, 2008: when at great expense, the primates, bishops, their wives and conference retainers were all bussed up to London for a... camera opportunity. A millennial march to end poverty. The march, which lasted minutes short of an hour, but which was followed by a leisurely day: first, luncheon in the garden of the Archbishop’s London palace, and then afternoon tea with Her Majesty the Queen on the grounds of Buckingham Palace. As if the obscenely-expensive rental of the ‘big blue tent’ were not indicator enough of the hollow irrelevancy Lambeth 2008 would turn out to be, there was the spectacle of the London ‘camera-opp.’

And then today, as if we needed further proof of the of Canterbury’s ambitions, there’s his not-so-good friend Bennie of St. Peter’s proclaiming myself and many of those I love 'a threat to the future of humanity.’ Of course the Pope also went on to pontificate on poverty, and social and economic injustice- all while seated on a guilded throne, dressed in the obscenely expensive costume of a medieval prince, sporting a gold ring of office which would probably feed several developing-world families for at least a year.

I hadn’t shared any of this with C. when she called; she’d brought enough to the table. ‘Why stay? Why do you event bother trying,’ her anger and pain as obvious as her challenge.

Drawing a deep breath, I told her I wanted to tell her a story:

A couple of years ago, a ‘power player’ in both the local diocese and national church asked me to accompany her to a local function: a whiskey-tasting at one of the downtown churches. Essentially a rather poorly attended fundraiser, I think she was offering the experience as well-intentioned proof of...... something or other.

Shortly after we arrived the Rector came rushing over to our table, to 'talk Church’ with my host. Eventually I was introduced, only to be immediately asked: ‘Oh, are you Anglican?’

Hesitating, out of fear of offending this priest who I respect for her work of the local refugee committee among other things, I eventually admitted to being a post-Anglican-anglican.

I’m not sure the description even registered. She certainly didn’t need to know any more- ‘Oh, one of those,’ and she was off.

‘Just like that protestant minister, who wrote complaining about how she was exhausted and fed-up with people who told her they were spiritual but not religious?’ C. suggested.'Why stay? Why even bother?'

Bottom line for me? The radical, reality-shifting truth of the Incarnation and the fact that no matter how big a mess and embarrassment the purple shirts of our own denomination or the gang of St. Peters may make of it, the Church is not theirs.

Long before the first stone of patriarchal ‘official Christianity’ had been laid, Ruach- the Holy Spirit was calling us- and continues to call- us into the living reality of being members of the Living Body of Christ, here and now.

So no matter how tragically irrelevant; embarrassingly ridiculous; insulting; threatening or disingenuously manipulative the gate-keepers of ‘official Christianity’ might be at times, this is why I still bother. That and because of the endless possibilities within the sacred-tension beneath Hooker’s three-legged stool.

Tonight, however three of the finest priests I know of are very much on my heart. All three of them have, within the last two years paid extremely high prices for the integrity of their priesthood. E., in an unseasonably-early retirement; L., waiting on the Spirit to find out where she is to serve next; and blessed M., happily, after much suffering and loss about to head out to serve in one of the most challenging corners of her nation.

That day at Duarte Park, there were also, among many others two other priests of our church: Michael+ Sniffen and John+ Merz along with +George Packard and his truly remarkable wife.

As a Montrealer I’m allowed to reference Leonard-the-Cohen: the cracks that let the light through however doesn’t quite cover it. Radiant, shining embodiments of the living truth of our collective vocation to live into the reality of being members in the Body of Christ each of these beings. Prophets in a 'not-for-prophet Church' which has yet to learn our Church was never called to be an end-in-itself, but rather the mid-wife to ‘life more abundantly’ Spirit unceasingly calls us all to.

Which I guess brings to another reason for ‘still bothering:’ my deep and hopeful sense that perhaps as never before, our Church- THE CHURCH has a lot to learn. And as frightening as that might be at times, none of us are alone in this, TBTG.

What's REALLY going on here?

2011-06-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

Some might have a problem with this- coming from a Canadian; but the last several days I’ve been deeply saddened by the media frenzy, the posturing and jockeying which has been going on in the public media over what I’d call the self-inflicted, public misfortune of Rep. Anthony Weiner.

Yeah, I know, the media have been having a heyday with it- spinning each picture, the most tenuous connections and the thinnest of stories into blazing headline. But as one American contact reminded me last evening while speaking of the majority of the American media ‘the media are essentially whores. That’s how they manage so successfully to distract the vast majority of the American public from real issues and daily realities of their individual lives.’ ‘A most often embarrassing but often necessary.... evil’ was another of my contact’s assessments.

Living north of the 49th parallel, with nothing more than concerned observer status in this current manufactured drama, I could do little more than reflect on this particular assessment, bearing in mind my contact’s deep informed spirituality, their academic credentials & career accomplishments.

One final comment, read late last evening however really saddened me. By a person, publicly identifying as a Christian their quote generated its own headline on one of America’s leading news sites: essentially ‘Unforgiveable! He lied to us!’

I couldn’t help but wonder on what grounds she was making this assessment? As an American? Since when has lying been grounds for forfeiting one’s citizenship ? As a constituent? Is Mr. Weiner the first public official caught out in a lie, or series of lies which did not involve an illegal activity? Or is it that he is refusing to ‘cut off his own head’ as another media wag suggested, and slink off into ignominy?
Or perhaps it is this persons publicly professed Christian faith which is supposed to be the grounds for her judgement and her call for his resignation? Is she actually suggesting we Christians are supposed to have some God-given right to judge each other AND everyone else?

Is it not possible that perhaps... just perhaps, something else could be going on here?
As one ‘blessed to be baptized,’ to quote a dear friend: trying to live out my faith from the particular vocation of a gay Christian, I tend to try to keep at least one eye on the bigger picture, the larger process and life-affirming possibilities one believes are always possible on the dance floor of the Holy Spirit.

How about some critical thinking on the Weiner-gate firestorm? Possibly even self-reflection on the hidden personal issues and woundedness- collectively and individually- behind so much of the self-righteousness noise & condemnation?

i.e. If the best the Democratic Party can do is to abandon Rep Weiner and his family to the whoring of every media hack and potentate- I say shame on you.

I’m talking sacred process here- which also means leaving Rep. Weiner and his beautiful wife to their God and themselves to deal with this. Recognizing that each of them is indeed created in the image and likeness of the living God who has indeed never abandoned them, AND perhaps we might even rejoice in the fact that their life together is about to be blessed with a child.

Of course this would entail according Anthony & Huma the humanity we are usually all-too-ready to claim for ourselves: a humanity which among other attributes includes the ability to repent, to forgive, to heal, to learn and to grow.

My sense is that there are indeed no innocents here- except for the radiant Huma, and she, unlike too many others has not served her husband up to this media feeding-frenzy. Instead she has, I would suggest recognized the sacredness of their relationship, kept her own counsel and got on with her life- with much grace working with her partner and getting on with her job- heading off to North Africa with Madame Clinton- herself another living lesson.

Sacred process you well might ask.

How about- for people of faith at least- the possibility that when media or alternately the course of events, make large certain issues or events there is always- ALWAYS opportunities for us personally to gain insight, to heal or grow- to become part of a solution or on-going process which honors this sacred, wondrous gift of life we have been given. Whether it’s the current recession, imagining a future life for the peoples of Iraq & Afghanistan following the foreign troop with-drawls or the too-obvious effects of global warming: inherent in each is the opportunity to do better, to think larger, to embrace rather than presume to manage or control this sacred gift of Life.

In not-quite-a-word, I’d suggest the media might best STFU on the life and marriage of Anthony & Huma, and, with real grace focus on the lives, courage grace and experience of the people of Joplin; on real alternatives to America’s addiction to petroleum products; on how the West can best help the people of Egypt, Libya, Syria and Tunisia; and perhaps even speculate on what a real communications culture would look like.

My job as a person of faith- as a gay person of faith- in all of this is to uphold Anthony and Huma with love in prayer- and they’ve got both.

God bless you dear Huma.

God bless you dear Anthony.

-love you BOTH!

in a nutshell

2011-05-30T02:51:00.000-07:00

Due to problems with my internet provider which extended over several months I have been unable to post to the blog. After literally hours on the phone, and a visit by a technician we have worked out a compromise solution- as a result, though this particular post was created some time ago, I believe there is enough worth celebrating within in, that I am posting it at this late date.

I am so very blessed, or that's how it feels this morning as the day tries to work its way into a thoroughly overcast sky-
this inspite of our ever more precarious financial-employment situation,
the life challenges a number of cherished prayer partners are currently facing,
a challenging, and surprisingly stimulating Lent.

This morning's gratitude is particularly conscious of two great gifts within the last twenty-four hours, and with that also a renewed appreciation for the wondrous communities of connectedness which lie behind each of them:

the network of extraordinary minds and grace filled lives who challenge, comfort, inspire and nourish me through their online presence

and at this moment i am thinking most particularly of my fellow Anglican/Episcopalian siblings- you know who you are.

The other source: one of the many gifts and blessings of living in my very dear, but often beleagured country (danged conservatives!): namely the CBC Radio Network, and most particularly Eleanor Wachtel's most recent broadcast on Writers & Company: http://www.cbc.ca/writersandcompany/ . An interview with the Irish poet Seamus Heaney. Absolutely one of Eleanor's best- at times the two of them had me soaring with Eleanor's insightful questions or Heaney's gift of insight, for naming.... for finding the word or image which literally stops time. At others, like a hungry child I found myself scrambling with the need for Heaney to keep talking on a particular point- my spirit calling out 'more, more- go deeper please.

Through the good graces of the Writers & Co website you can listen to Eleanor's one hour interview with Heaney, by clicking on the audio link on the right side of her site: - a veritable feast offered up by one my own country's cultural treasures, 'The Great Wachtel' as we refer to her in our household.

The second great gift still sounding in my being this morning is a single sentence at the very end of a powerful personal statement required by her local diocese for authorization to liturgically blessing gender-harmonious marriages . This by a priest and cherished sister born with the soul of a poetic prophet.

A single sentence:

'To love, as Christ loves us. And when we see it –give thanks to God and bless it.'

whose effect could closely be described as staggering my being with awe when i first read it.

The clearest, most succinct expression of the other, alternative model the early Church had- the heroic path- when in the early days it bought into Constantine's proposal of Church as Empire.

In a nutshell, our margaret is also prophetically holding up the essential call and invitation the Holy Spirit continuously holds out to the Church and each one of us in these times, Her invitation to radical renewal: essentially to recognize the ongoing Christ-process in each other; to embrace the brokenness of a Creation which has too long suffered under the tyrany of dualism, and to leave ourselves open to the risk and adventure of grace at work in aeach our of lives.

In that one sentence I hear the resonance of Heschel's celebration of God's seamless creation, of Bishop Robinson's transformative witness to the 'Love beyond our wildest imagining', to Ed Bacon's 'gift of God to be born gay or lesbian-' to so many of the lives and voices of prophetic wholeness I am blessed to be nourished and challenged by in these 'interesting' times.

'To love, as Christ loves us. And when we see it –give thanks to God and bless it.'

Knowing next to nothing about one of America's favorite summer pastimes- baseball, the only image which comes to mind right now, probably reflects the influence of another cherish sibling- dear Elizabeth.

'To love, as Christ loves us. And when we see it –give thanks to God and bless it,' it bears repeating. And with that one prophetic phrase dear margaret literally hit one right out of the purple-shirted park- she literally stopped time with wonder, here in our tiny house.

eyes to see, ears to hear

2011-01-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning's email brought among others, news from Dan Savage and Terry Miller- yes, that Dan and Terry. A group e-mail which announced that since acting on their idea several months ago the IT GETS BETTER SITE has grown to more than 7,500 videos and more than 25 million views.

Remarkable doesn’t quite cover it- Figures which bare repeating: 75,000 videos contributions, testimonials, acts of compassionate outreach and support in Christian-speak and 25 million TWENTY-FIVE MILLION people who engaged with the message of IT GETS BETTER.

Sitting here with those statistics, I can’t help but think there’s some mighty powerful and startlingly simple lessons our Church could learn from the likes of Dan Savage and Terry Miller and the thousands of LGBT men and women who responded compassionately to their call. Reminds me of another time in recent history when the Holy Spirit offered up our LGBT tribe- many of them the most marginalized and empoverished in society, as both an example and an opportunity for our Churches to live out their vocation to be the Body of Christ. Of course, what I’m referring to are the darkest days of the first decade of AIDS here in North America. And we all know how poorly our churches did with that one.

Thankfully- can I hear a Praise God please- this is another day; thanks in part to the folks of New Hampshire, the skilful and gracious leadership of the current Presiding Bishop and many of her colleagues, and most recently thanks to the folks of the Diocese of Los Angeles.

Lots to be thankful for- in some quarters at least, but that said, I stand by my suggestion that Dan, Terry and It Gets Better have a lot to teach the churches- to teach my Church. But uncharacteristically I will not be laying it out for you today. Rather a lot happening here at present and I must be about other things.

A while back though in response to a post of mine I was attacked for the ‘heresy’ of suggesting that the Holy Spirit has and is using Her LGBT daughters and sons prophetically within organized religion in our time. ‘How dare you?’ I was challenged. ‘What could you possibly mean, the Holy Spirit ever having need of queer folks, who scripture clearly calls an abomination,’ he continued. Well-intentioned though he may have thought himself, my attacker never responded to my detailed reply.

What do I mean? How about the lesson of IT GETS BETTER? Our God is neither bound or limited by Holy Scripture, canon law or the rites and offices of patriarchy. Our God lives and moves among the hearts and lives of His/Her creation and never has S/He has never been more present and available to us than in the course of current events.

God bless you Dan Savage, God bless you Terry Miller we are all blessed by your prophetic example.

Cat among the canaries

2010-12-15T04:23:00.000-08:00

Oh the siutations one can find oneself in- perhaps never more surprisingly so than when it’s unintended.

Within hours of posting on the two ‘P’s I received another to-the point e-mail from ‘E.S.’ one of my more interesting and challenging correspondents (more on her later- she deserves her own post- at least).

‘Can I pass this on (she asked wickedly)?’

‘Of course. My blog is in a public space- the Internet.’

‘Consider yourself warned,’ her only rejoinder.

And that was about all the thought I gave to it. Unemployed though I may currently be- with all of the challenges of undergoing unemployment at 62- the days are never long enough. A good part of the next forty-eight hours was spent in a combination of brainstorming & process mapping for an acquaintance who had invited me to be a participant in her year-long discernment process.

During that time I also received another e-mail from Terry. ‘Is that it-your full take on patriarchy and prophetic lives?’

I hesitated before responding and took my blessed pup for a walk- the first one possible after the most recent snow storm as daschunds have notoriously short legs.

‘Actually, I’m toying with a rather interesting train of thought since my rather protracted practice period this morning,’ I eventually admitted. ‘Putting together notes for the second part of ‘Reading the lay of the land,’ I was struck by the uncanny parallels between the toxic patriarchy in too many quarters of the Church and alcoholism.’

Terry shot back right away- ‘What?’

‘I’m not saying the Church is an alcoholic,’ I was quick to assure him. ‘Rather that patriarchy as a behaviour- a 21st Century means of functioning, shows an amazing number of parallels to chronic alcoholic bahavior- and both are equally toxic.’

‘WOW a lot to think about there.’

‘Thinking is what I’m doing here too. And sitting with it, I’m clear that it would be both preposterous and pretentious for me to even think about looking at the clinical parallels. Its the behavioural parallels which interest me: their implications and repercussions... I’m actually thinking of teasing outa 12 step model as an interpretive medium for much of what’s going on in the Churches.’

‘Now THAT could be original.’

‘Early days yet teasing it out, but it’s beginning to strike me there could be some rather striking parallels between 21st Century patriarchal behaviour & attitudes, and alcoholism. No half measures in either situation. You give up serving drinks, cheating on the side and accepting all the ‘treats’ from your ‘customers;’ or you own the toxicity of your behaviour and seek the help to live beyond it.. You’re either in recovery, or you’re not... Continuing to function with the Swiss-cheese rationalizations of drinking, or claiming the blessing of healing and growing towards the wholeness God keeps calling us to... I mean, it should be clear to even a Martian by now, just what toxic a take on reality patriarchy is. Right?’

‘Brings to mind the situation with our former pastor and the help you gave me... Thinking about your last post, I wonder if his real problem might not have been mix-and-match... He’s a good man, and did nothing to deserve his breakdown or what’s followed in its wake, but at times he could be rather ... rigid- authoritative even, and then he’d wonder why people didn’t understand, didn’t get all worked up over his ideas- you could read it in his eyes, the hurt and frustration.’

Which brings me back to E.S. who called to ‘confess’ what she’d done with my earlier post- ‘passed it on to a relatively young, former colleague of mine- a Jesuit,’ she added with some glee.

‘He probably agrees with me already, ‘ I suggested.

‘That’s not it,’ she explained. ‘There’s this other faculty member –a lay Catholic, who’s really been riding my friends ass. Started with a couple of the sermons he preached in the collegial church at mass, which sent the mathmatics guy on a real witch hunt, had him hunting out the two small books and the articles my friend’s published... Last time I spoke with my Jebbie friend he told me they’d had a real session over some gay Catholic writer- probably a theologian... You may not be the right sort of Catholic (E.S. possibly remembering our much earlier exchange on the distinctions between Rome and Anglican Catholicity) but I sent him your post.

It was about then I shared with her my latest investigatory track. (Cue the cat among the canaries)

‘Oh my, oh my, oh my God!’ and it’s moment’s like this that ‘E.S.’s intellectual passion can most often bring to mind a late May evening, mellow with the promise of summer- the night sky blown wide with light and wonder- May 24th- fireworks for the Queen’s birthday and you’re but ten years old.

Of course ‘E.S.’ pressed for details- her ready appetite for a well though-out, reasoned model she can test- or demolish –in almost any field- is both remarkable and amusing at times.

‘Early days yet,’ I reminded her- twice.

‘Well you’ve got to promise me, whatever you do with this, I’ve got to be the first one to see it.’

A promise I fully intend to keep, I’m no fool.

those two troublesome 'P's

2010-12-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

Some conversations, usually the unexpected one’s can feel so... sacred sometimes. There I’ve said it- downright sacred. Times when, whether a prayer’s been uttered or not- the coming together, the openness and active listening leave space for something more than either of you or the sum of ones’ most evident parts. Case in point: an e-mail and subsequent call from ‘S’ this week-end.

‘S’ ostensibly wrote to ask for prayers for a fellow priest ‘who’s having one hell of a time of it.’ Considering herself a post-denominational priest (à la Matthew Fox), ‘I’ is continually being ‘slammed back and forth between the revolving doors’ of what ‘S’ described as ‘intelligent Christian practice and literal Christianity.’

When I asked for more details, ‘S’ in turn asked if she might call me.

Not the first time we’ve spoken; ‘S’ and ‘I’ are both Lutheran priests- ‘priest’ being a living reality ‘S’ has only really being embodying since here return to America a little over a year ago. After almost eight years as pastor in a two-point rural charge- her first; ‘S’ had managed to go to Sweden, the country of her birth for a sabbatical year- which ended up joyously turning into three; a period of time, to quote ‘S’ ‘I really found myself as a priest.’

Priesthood being a second career for ‘S,’ she is more than a decade older than ‘I’ who has been ordained less than five years. Their paths first crossed when ‘S’ accepted a post as interim Pastor in a large metropolitan parish.

Turns out, to differing degrees both women have been experiencing some of the same thing.

For ‘I’ it began with her questioning some of the items on the parish budget and the proportion spent on self-maintenance as opposed to either mission or service. For ‘S’ the static arose in the adult Bible study, when in response to a rather strident declaration about a particular incident in scripture, ‘S’ had referenced a contradictory version in a second gospel, and the complete omission in the remaining two.

‘Any chance this might be about the fact both pastors are women?’ I asked at one point.

‘I don’t really think so- not overtly at least, though I admit for a nano-second I was ready to react as if it might be,’ she added with a chuckle. ‘No... Perhaps I’m still seeing things through the lens of my European experience, but it’s my sense that our denomination doesn’t quite have the issues of... your British cousins- with female clergy.

‘You really sure on that?’ I nudged.

‘Oh, I have no doubt that in Keith’s mind at least, some of the surety and authority with which he was speaking was firmly rooted in his authority as head of his own household, an elected official and a male of a certain age,’ ‘S’ admitted after a moment, with an audible sigh. ‘But that’s not how I read the group, or even the weight they were willing to allow Keith to assume.’

‘How about the situation for your colleague?’

Another audible sigh. ‘Oh, that’s much more out in the open...’ Turns out ‘I’s charge was managed for more than a decade with an assortment of visiting retired clergy and theology students. ‘The laity is what kept those two churches going.’ But with ‘I’s appointment the Bishop brought them into one charge, and they’re actually trying to resurrect a third one that’s been closed for some time.

‘For ‘I’ it can be things as petty as letting her see the parish books- when she’s been specifically charged to over-see the fiscal consolidation, or believe it or not, the storage of the Communion vessels for one parish.’

‘To say nothing of her ‘new-fangled’ sermons,’ I suggested.

‘Of course,’ a third sigh.

‘I’ had originally come to ‘S’ in search of a spiritual director, though after a while their sessions began to take of a tinge of investigative therapy when ‘I’ admitted how at least two of the elders were almost invariably capable of silencing her- ‘literally cutting me off at the knees’ to quote ‘I’.

Somewhere in there, I reminded ‘S’ of her own ‘nano-second’ and suggested that as tough as it was, both she and ‘I’ should be taking some comfort from what was happening. ‘Whatever you're doing, you’re not leaving them indiffent... and what each of you is undergoing, to one degree or another, is the battle of the two ‘P’s.’

‘O.K.,’ she admitted with more than a hint of patient amusement.

‘It’s both endemic and long overdue- throughout the whole Church.’

‘And why do I have a pretty good idea of where this is heading,’ she asked after a moment with some relish.

‘But it’s not uni-directional,’ I reminded her. ‘That’s why it’s so-‘

‘-tough to deal with?’ she suggested.

‘That, and frustrating, exhausting... and personally uncomfortable.’

‘All of the above! And then some’

‘Within and without-‘

‘Talk to me about the within,’ my wise & courageous asked after a moment.

After a quick detour to the work of Dr. Peter Senge on the risks to ‘agents of change’ I drew a deep breath and shared my person experience of internalized homophobia, and not having any personal experience of same, it really caught my friends attention.

I kept it short- little more than naming the most obvious low-lights:

‘shame’

; elicited a sympathetic murmur

‘

awkwardness-’ and ‘embarrassment’ at one’s difference

‘alienation from one’s body, one’s heart, and in too many cases in the past from one’s mind: existential murder in the name of God’

‘pain’- so much pain, and it’s Siamese twin ‘fear’

essentially what becomes a thousand-and-one degrees of self-hatred; most of them dressed up in appropriate verse of Scripture- you don’t have to hear ‘abomination’ too many times before you really take it to heart.

‘The hardest part was seeing it all worked out on the bodies and in the lives of too many of our POZ clients- especially in the first decade of AIDS here in Montreal. Broken & mutilated lives- why d’you think they called so much of it, ‘acting-out...’ and the bottom line is not one of my sisters in Christ, to one degree or another, haven’t lived their own version of the very same thing.’

It’s about then both of us stopped trying to hide our tears.

‘And the difficult thing is, once we’ve been broken open by life or the Holy Spirit herself- once She’s had Her way with us-‘

‘- the Comforter.’

‘Source of all healing... Once we’re seemingly back on our feet again, it’s still an on-going process.’

‘Coming out, you mean?’

‘Coming out, but also being continually ‘bracketed;’ when the first thing people see about you is that your gay or a woman, and a lot of them never quite get over it either, however well intentioned they might be.’

A sigh of experience on the other end of the line.

‘Essentially it’s coming out to the sacramental nature of our very lives.’

‘Within and without-right.’ ‘S’ reminded me with an audible breath which just might have been prayer.

‘Internalized homophobia’ a hint of surprise in ‘S’s voice, as if fingering a new object.
‘That ‘nano-second’ of yours? Sounds like it just might be a momentary twinge of internalized patriarchy,’ I suggested playfully. ‘Which means, with what of I know of your mindfulness practice, your intelligence and the passion you apply to making your Church a relevant reality, you’re also wearing the vestments of the second ‘P.’’

‘Tell me,’ she asked.

‘Prophecy- my treasured friend... Doing your very best to live and breathe yourself into the Church- here and now- the Spirit unfailingly calls us to be.’

Audible tears, though this time they sounded different- perhaps relief.

‘And the amazing thing is how radically different they are. Patriarchy is cold, hollow and dark- rigid, reactive , accusatory and divisive, always working out the ‘us’ and ‘them’ of any situation... The roof of the prophetic life is as high and wide as the sky itself, as open as we let our hearts to She who calls us forth in Love- that’s the life and vocation you and ‘I’ are living into.’

‘Aching towards’ more like it,’ with a hint of self-depreciating irony.

‘And this is still all new for ‘I,’ I reminded her. ‘Lucky- no make that blessed she is to have found you.’

‘And she hasn’t had the blessing of my break away.’

It didn’t end there.

A while later something ‘S’ had said during our first conversation came to mind, only months after her return to America. ‘It may sound strange... but you know, in a way, the most surprising thing was how more mature many of the younger Swedish Christians appeared to be.’

‘All those generations of Swedish protestanism?’

‘As indifferent as they might seem most of the time, the whole thing is a lot less... indirect- less complicated. Does that make any sense?’

‘Tell me more.’

‘Well a lot of the time it’s a pretty secular sea you’re swimming in- but it’s like everyone’s recognized and accepted that. So when you do have a conversation with someone: a conference with a parishioner or what first appears to be a casual conversation on the street, it rarely theoretical or to score a triangulated point... This is going to sound strange, but in a certain way it feels more.. adult-‘

‘-Spong!’ I interjected.

‘Excuse me?’

That’s when I explained about Bishop Spong’s casual on-air mention of ‘mature Christianity,’ and once I was sailing on the generous jet stream of some of the finest Anglican minds we were soon soaring into the vastness of post-transactional theology and its blessed implications.

‘S’ signed off with a half-dozen titles on her list.

Only moments later the phone rang again.

‘I forgot to thank-you – for everything... Oh, and I’ve figure out who you are- the older brother I never had- my äldre bror,’ she added with a chuckle. ‘I love you-‘

‘-Love you too... and give my love to ‘I'. too’

See what I mean, how unexpected as it might be, Life can be so much more than the sum of its parts.

....

2010-12-08T04:05:00.000-08:00

Religion has always suffered from the tendency to become an end in itself, to seclude the holy, to become parochial, self-indulgent, self-seeking; as if the task were not to ennoble human nature but to enhance the power and beauty of its institutions or enlarge the body of doctrine.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

Nothing worth doing in completed in our lifetime, therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we much be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are savced by love.

Reinhold Niebuhr

It is by immersing ourselves in the complex realities of planetary and human conditions that we begin to understand the true nature of incarnational and redemptive faith. The God of the Bible desires the active living of divine purpose over merely celebrating the idea of correct belief in the One True God.

Bill Phipps

What Jesus preached was ‘the kingdom’; what he got was the church!

Don Cupitt

There is so much evidence today to support ‘the kingdom of God’ emphasis in the teaching of Jesus that it is difficult to understand let alone justify the exclusions, divisions, and differences that accompanied the growth of the church. Today, with the church in decline and mired in outdated beliefs and practices, it would seem that we need to learn how to think the kingdom way of thinking, and to live the kingdom way of living. Every attempt to do so is an indication that the kingdom way is not a reduced view of faith but a fulfillment of the dream of Jesus for life in the kingdom now.

Anne Squire

Reading the lay of the land- part one

2010-12-04T05:30:00.000-08:00

Amazing the exchanges we can find ourselves in- and often over the most unexpected things.

Case in point: a conversation which began almost a month ago; when engaging with the blog posting of one of our more conservative bloggers my response included the word ‘reactive’ to describe the role the Church too often takes in contemporary life.

Turns out, it took Terry a whole to track me down, but several days later he sent me an e-mail. ‘The comment you left- short as it was, really bothered me. Just what did you mean, by your “almost inevitably reactionary?”’

Turns out the author of the original post is a social acquaintance of Terrys- the cousin of a neighbour who is a good friend of Terrys. Their paths crossed at a recent anniversary party where doing ‘the networking thing’ they’d exchanged cards and through this he’d eventually checked out the blog in question. Terry himself eventually admitted that not only is he not an Anglican; he and his wife have pretty much ‘sleepwalked’ through much of their involvement with the local congregation of the denomination they were both born into.

A response from me not only welcomed his kiwi voice but clarified the difference between ‘reactionary’ and the word I had indeed used. Which apparently only encouraged Terry to write and ask: ‘ok, then what did you mean by ‘almost inevitably a reactive stance’?

In brief, I explained how too often when the official or visible representations of the Church engage with situations or issues of contemporary life they almost inevitably arrive with trunks of doctrine and great suitcases of scriptural verses- their minds essentially already made up before the conversation has even begun. As a result they almost invariably not only fail to meaningfully engage, they usually don’t even hear what the ‘other’ party might be saying.

‘You mean like the danged Pope on condoms?’ he shot back. ‘Talk about being out of touch with reality!’

‘The pope’s one example of the Church’s failure to engage meaningfully with contemporary reality- yes, but there’s also all the missed ‘headliner’ opportunities.’

‘Headliner opportunities?’

‘I give you three names- Dawkins, Hitchens and Harris. Dawkins and Hitchen lead the way with what many conservative Christians simply objectified & dismissed as ‘attacks on God. And while Harris might not have caught quite the same volume of limelight he’s on his third, general release book- just in time for the Christmas holidays; positing that science is the only basis for an authentic moral code.’

‘I remember hearing something about Hitchen’s book- probably in the media.’

‘And where was the articulate reasoned engagements by the ‘professional,’ the ‘expert’ Christians... and I’m not talking about Sunday sermons, letters to the editor or even personal blog posts here. All three men, to varying degrees of success chose the public area of published books (also available in electronic versions)- equally available to individuals wrestling with the current behaviour and issues within their own denominations and to those outside the Church who might pick up either author out of idle curiosity but end up finding what they read only affirms their troubled personal experience of the Church... And where was the voice of the Church, engaging in the same forum, the issues these three men raised?’

‘But wouldn’t that have been “reactive”?’

‘I’m not talking about taking on the three men personally, or even a point-by-point refutation of their arguments. I’m talking about looking at their work as symptoms and addressing the underlying issues- the real questions; contemporary anguish or indifference- in an articulate, engaged manner- IN EXACTLY THE SAME FORUM... You can’t tell me that our Churches have become so addled with their unilateral pronouncements that they’ve forgotten how real engagement & communication work?’

‘Hmmm.’

‘At least two of those three men probably became millionaires on those particular titles, and there was the leadership of my particular denomination working itself into a very expensive fit over the election of one honestly gay bishop?’

‘To say nothing about Bennie finally working his mind around to allowing that condoms are permissible- for male prostitutes?’

‘As if anyone even considers what the Pope might have to say on the matter anymore? He’s effectively made himself irrelevant- on condoms and everything else.’

‘But what’s your alternative then?’ Terry asked before signing off.

‘Well as people of faith- people who believe in the active, engaged, passionate presence of the Holy Spirit in the everyday reality of our lives, we might be a little more open- ready to see what’s really going on ‘out there’; ready to listen; to learn- ready for whatever the situation might really be to be a learning opportunity for us as well as a "situation to be addressed".... It’s my experience that whatever the experience one might be stepping into, Ruah is usually there already ahead of us.’

Obviously a patient man, Terry didn’t give up on me and once I’d explained my slip- using Hebrew, probably in the cause of simplified keyboarding Terry shot back’ Keep going.’

Turns out he’d never heard of St. Patrick’s Breastplate. When I waxed slightly lyrical speaking of the Holy Spirit not only actively, if exceedingly patiently present in our lives but ‘above us, below us, before us and working in our wake, within us and without,’ things got really interesting.

‘Whoa! You really believe all that?’

A couple prayerful, thoughtful of days before days before I wrote back: ‘I can only represent my experience, but for me I guess what it boils down to is the seal of our baptism- as simplistic as that might sound. Scripture and countless glowing examples in history stand proof of our Lord’s promise being kept- to send the Comforter. Not that I’m in anyway implying that the Holy Spirit works only in and through the lives of the baptised, but if She is present anywhere, it’s got to be through Baptism.’

My friend had no problem with that. ‘But I’ve got to remind you, I’m not really sure I’d call our gang a sacramental church,’ he reminded me. ‘In a way you Anglicans are so much luckier- having so many more clear issues and concepts to tussle with. We prots most of the time aren’t too clear on what we believe about most things.’

THAT sure gave me food for thought, and brought to mind another cherished correspondent, E.S- more on her later.

It was only several emails later we ‘got back on track’ as Terry called it. ‘About this reactive thing that got us started in the first place.’

‘You’re having an argument with your eldest son, but before the two of you even get together around the kitchen table, you’re already clear an your position- you’ve argued it out in your own mind, and possibly even with your wife; you know where you stand and what you want out of the exchange with your son.’

‘O.K.?’

‘And that whole ‘conversation’ idea- talking things out- the meeting of your individual realities- really nothing more than a sham?’ I suggested. ‘An exercise in enforcement?’

‘Keep going.’

‘But what about if both of you allowed it to be an open opportunity for relationship?’

‘Relationship? Fighting over him using the car’s relationship?’

‘EVERYTHING is relationship. Especially if you’re a person of faith- everything is implicitly a sacramental relationship between three parties in this instance- you, your son and the limitless possibilities for understanding, growth, healing, insight and transformation the Holy Spirit brings to that kitchen table.’

‘Are you actually suggesting the two of us should have prayed before having that discussion about the car?’

I confess I chuckled.‘Not necessarily. I’ve seen too many instances where prayer has been used as a passive/aggressive opportunity to frame an argument or make points before the ‘discussion’ even begins... The two of you however could have each taken a couple of deep breaths while maintaining eye contact to disengage from the argument you’d already won in your own minds- to authentically arrive in the sacrament of the situation you found yourselves in.

‘Maybe we ought to clear up just exactly what you mean by ‘sacrament’ then,’ Terry suggested.

That’s when the comfort of a great catechist in my life- Father James R. Allen came to the fore ‘an outward and visible sign of an inward, invisible grace’ I quoted from memory.

For the next several days the emails really flew- sometimes two or three from Terry to my one- but eventually he brought us back to the issue with his son: the argument about using the car.

‘How about the possibility that it’s rarely about the seemingly obvious?’ I suggested. ‘Consciously, or subconsciously when you’ve ‘worked it out’ in advance in your own mind, the memory or resonances of many or if not all of the unsatisfactorily resolved situations in your long history with that same son kicked in too, to one degree or another. And equally, consciously or unconsciously, all the times he felt you hadn’t really listened- hadn’t to his mind understood or agreed with what he was saying- they call kicked in too. So essentially the two of you were bringing whole armies of history to that kitchen table- none of which were voiced outside your respective minds, but each of which had a vote in how you’d decided the matter.’

‘So what would have been a ‘sacramental’ approach?’ Terry asked almost forty-eight hours later.

‘How about, once you’d each drawn those couple of breaths, you as the parent opened things up to something radically new by telling your son you wanted it to be different this time? Perhaps, instead of sitting across the table from each other, the two of you had gone for a walk, or you’d teased the ‘issue of the car’ away from your shared history by asking what he thought was really at stake?’

‘OK, keep going.’

‘Maybe the two of you even managed to tease apart the car issue and your frustration with the condition of his room- and in the process discovered that his ‘slovenly chaos’ is really a statement of personhood... Maybe the two of you end up having a whole discussion about ‘personhood;’ about how your particular family functions and what it’s like for each of you in your ‘role’ of son and father- I'm suggesting that just might be the real conversation behind the car and just how wilfully defiant the state of his bedroom might be.’

Eventually Terry responded. ‘I’m not saying you’re right- or wrong. But fuck, do you realize how much things would have to change around here? Is that what you mean by sacramental?’

‘Hmmm the word ‘transformational’ is what comes to mind. But yeah, sacramental covers the same reality too. To plagiarize Ms. Oprah, it’s all about living our ‘best lives-‘ "life more abundantly”, our Saviour called it.’

‘Which means the next time Zack and I have an issue, we’re got to work at leaving all the past issues outside?’

‘Perhaps it’s the only real way of moving forward- by first stepping, un-armoured and unadorned into the raw sacrament of the present moment, to see what the grace in each of you and working through both of you is capable of.’

‘And what about old Bennie and his effing condoms?’ Jay shot back within twenty-four hours?

‘I can’t speak for ‘Bennie,’ or the Vatican’- no, make that I wouldn’t want to speak for them... but maybe, just maybe what we- the generic Church- has to do is flip the sacred paradigm and start right where the Holy Spirit places us- un-armoured and unadorned. Yes, with Scripture, dogma, canon law and whole libraries of commentary and opinion as references. They’re all the legacy of patriarchy, and if we’re really supposed to be outliving that mentality we’ve got to start where we and the Church are supposed to be- in the rawness of the very first sacrament: Life itself- the sacred, unadorned reality of our lives.’

‘No scripture? What are all those pastors and ministers going to talk about?’ Terry asked with what I’m sure was a generous chuckle on his end.’

‘Not quite what I was suggesting,’ I reminded him. ‘Scripture- which we Anglicans believe contains everything necessary for salvation, but not that everything in Scripture is necessary for salvation’ is our heritage, our sacred history,

our reference or context

. Dogma, canon law, all those tons of tomes of theological opinion and theory are all historical artefacts- but none- none of them are meant to supplant, or take precedence over the raw, sacred and very real vocation to engage the Holy Spirit, Herself in that primary sacrament- Life. That’s when dogma becomes idolatry.’

The exchanges with Terry continue- at least once daily- a sacred, wondrous, and at times outrageously funny exchange (like when Terry suddenly remembered I’m gay). But sharing what I have of our exchanges has brought us to where this exploration needs to be left for now- flipping the paradigm of patriarchy and mustering the grace to embrace- to step into- to each day step up to meet the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of our very lives.

2010-11-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

‘Disheartening’ the word which comes to mind a little too readily this morning - and let me be clear, I’m talking about the latest antics of the ‘official organs’ of our Anglican reality.

Through the good offices of Mark Harris, I’ve been made aware of, and been struggling with the paternalistic condescension of Canon Alyson Barnett-Cowan's latest. Canon Barnett-Cowan is Director of Unity Faith and Order- a title, which itself should indicate just what deep trouble the Communion is in at present.

No, I’m not going to comment on respond on Canon Barnett-Cowan’s latest , better and more erudite minds than mine having been calling it out for what it is.

Thankfully, Canon Susan Russel once again brought us healthy alternatives to the likes of Canon Barnett-Cowan’s take on Anglican reality: a document which I would suggest should be an essential element in any Anglican sanity survival kit in these disheartening times.

And then, thankfully, there’s blessed Tobias Haller’s succinct take on what I just recently referred to as ‘this latest bit of dangerous Anglican foolishness from the Anglican patriarchy.

‘Let me put it simply: We can’t even agree on what the Covenant means; so why should we imagine the Covenant will help us come to agreement on anything else?’

Anyone else notice a pattern developing here- once again- still, it is the voices of inclusion- many of them members of our incredible LGBT tribe of faith- who are the only ones witnessing and responding to the Church the Holy Spirit keeps calling us to be- the other side of patriarchy.

Fortunately, the above quote about ‘dangerous Anglican foolishness’ was not the only conversation I’ve had in the last 24 hours. Yesterday also brought an extended telephone conversation with V.S., another alienated Anglican who I am working with to build an exploratory/transformative model for her department.

‘When are they going to realize canon law, and all their patriarchal pronouncements are not articles of faith’ V.S. asked with real frustration and some pain in response to Canon Barnett-Cowan’s latest. ‘Do they have even the slightest idea of the great violence they are inflicting on the Body of Christ in the name of the patriarchal status-quo as they continue to make our dear Church more and more irrelevant to an ever-increasing number of people?’

Waking very early this morning, to the news of the passing of a cherished brother’s father-in-law, I’ve sat with all of the above in the hopeful rawness the ‘official Church’ so often leaves us in these days. Thankfully there was also the Daily Office with its blessed, deep resonances:

John 4:23; as uncomfortable as I am personally with the implied duality of ‘true worshipers’- us/ them; there is clarion-clear reminder of what the true business of the body of Christ is about- ‘spirit and truth’.

My heart soared gratefully with the reminder of the great psalm 100 as to how the Church we are called to be, is to behave:

Enter his gates with thanksgiving;
go into his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and call upon his Name.

For the Lord is good;
his mercy is everlasting;
and his faithfulness endures from age to age.

Yes, there’s also a rather apt description of the’ latest dangerous Anglican foolishness’ in Psalm 102

For my days drift away like smoke, *
and my bones are hot as burning coals.

change the pronoun, and it too readily brings to mind the whiff of Canon Barnett-Cowan’s latest comes to mind.

But then, most thankfully this-

‘The cross --the knowledge of good and evil is of us. Not of God’

penned by margaret this morning- (margaret of the lower case ‘m’) who couldn’t be a more cherished and beloved a sister if she were flesh and blood. ‘The cross --the knowledge of good and evil is of us. Not of God-’ makes one really think; but that’s our Margaret- one of the most awesome priests I know of.

And Psalm 102 notwithstanding, I’m wrapping myself in the proven promise of Psalm 100 this morning: ‘For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his faithfulness endures from age to age.’ It bears repeating, and it’s what makes being Anglican bearable this right now.

Really....? Excuse me.

2010-10-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Serves me right some might say- doing an ‘Anglican’ Google News search so early in the morning to learn of the latest wounds certain purple shirts & their clamouring mob of purity police might be inflicting on the faithful.

And there right at the top of the screen, ‘Human Dignity is supreme, says Archbishop of Canterbury’ .

Yup, wouldn’t have believed it, if there hadn’t been a news story from what appears to be a credible Indian news source ‘The Mangalorean- where Mangaloreans meet’ with all the details of fawning crowds, wild applause and people begging for William’s autograph and to have their photographs taken with him.

Is it just me- it seems there is so very much wrong with this latest public performance by a man who seems to be doing everything possible to strain ‘the bonds of affection’ with this particular Anglican.

I mean, where is God, the Anglican understanding of the same, the life, witness and redemptive love of our Lord Jesus Christ- the Good News- just where is it in this latest broadside of a pronouncement?

Am I just imagining it- the faint whiff of post-colonial condescension to William’s making this pronouncement overseas? To say nothing of the blatant hypocrisy of this coming from this particular individual whose own actions would appear to indicate a casual or only occasional acquaintance with what human dignity entails. Coming at a time when:

he continues to tolerate the prissy waffling of traumatized misogenists within the ranks of his own Church’s clergy over the consecration of women bishops; essentially dismissing the vocations of certain sisters to serve in this capacity, discounting both their lives and faith and implicitly admitting that the C of E is not ready yet to deal with more than one half of the human race as dynamic, living human beings living valid lives of faith sealed by their baptism.

he not only continues to objectify and dismiss LGBT faithful, once again dismissing our vocations, gifts and lives within the Church; he continues to dodge prophetically speaking out against the vicious, rabid homophobic speech and actions of certain of his brother bishops and primates

he not only fails to show any real leadership or to take a prophetic stand against the province- raiding, the creation of irregular bishops and the founding of mutant parishes; he has essentially capitulated to their vociferous noise and violence by unilaterally dis-inviting the American Church from a major committee of the Communion, and now publically wondering on how the next meeting of the primates will even be possible.

As one ‘recovering Anglican’ acquaintance of mine suggested recently ‘if it’s not that he’s blinded by the illusion of his own imagined brilliance, perhaps he’s suffering from brain-freeze... I mean all those degrees & books. Perhaps he’s just not connecting with reality- with the consequences of his words and actions.’ This, coming from an acquaintance who is not only an interesting, published academic, but someone who describes herself as passionately loving her ‘Anglican home, ‘ but also very much aware of just what a toxic situation it can be- as interesting and exciting as that might be at times.’

I mean, within the last month there was another news story quoting +++Rowan saying that his primary job as A of C was basically holding it all together- keeping people at the table, I believe was the term he used.

Is the man even listening to himself?

Everyone at the table, while certain parties have to stand because their chair has been removed (The Episcopal Church); while others are being essentially told to remain quiet & wait on their knees next to the Presiding chair (women called to the Episcopacy), where others are allowed so long as they remain silent, clear away and probably stay behind to wash up afterwards (LGBT baptized); and where the noisiest & must disruptive, the most threatening are not only invited to the feast, accorded private meetings with that same chair, but undoubtedly assured everything will get better with better rules (The ****ing Covenant).

Unfortunately, it doesn’t end here- this regrettable state the A of C appears to be suffering from; buried in Elizabeth’s latest thoughtful post is a quote.

Broadhurst is recorded as saying, "The question is, how do we continue to live our history with integrity?"

John Broadhurst, currently the Bishop of Fulham ( CoE) is one of three English bishops who have publically declared their intention to join the new Anglican ordinariate of Rome.

Ex-cuse me???

‘Live our history with integrity?’

He makes the Church- OUR Church- the Living Body of Christ sound like bunch of war widows and spinsters who’ve taken up residence in the cafeteria between dusting duties at a rarely-visited local museum. Is it any wonder that an ever-increasing number of individuals are living quite functional lives without any reference to our Churches, and those who do, too often are attracted to the theatrics & posturing exaggerations of certain sects?

As Elizabeth astutely remarks: ‘That being said, I didn't realize that the mission of the Church - any Church - was to 'live our history'. Silly me, I thought it was about working to bring in the Realm of God "on earth as it is in heaven."

As if this weren’t enough, there’s all the militaristic imagery used by too many of these orthodites. Case in point, the Rev. Stephen Bould, St. Peter’s Folkstone- another one shuffling off to the ordinariate who announced recently:

"It is a battle we are fighting now. Let's fight it with flair, imagination and spirit."

(ht: blessed Mimi, Queen of the South)

I’d remind Rev Bloud that this ‘battle’ is one of your making- and all the battle imagery and sabre-rattling in the world is not going to ramp things up enough to ever satisfy you, as the majority of those you would raise into a mob have already left the house and sadly are either indifferent or embarrassed by such misogeny and homophobia (check the recent Pew Survey, Stephen).

And of course Rowan’s ‘condition-‘ whatever it might be only makes things worse.

But where is all this leading?

Well one need look no further than the example of another bishop- this one a retired Roman Catholic bishop who recently pronounced that public officials who have supported abortion or same-gender marriages should submit to acts of public penance. I mean, is anyone even listening to the likes of this? Which century does this poor soul believe he is living in?

But sadly, underlying this bishop’s strange performance in the media is a deluded arrogance & certain other behaviour traits which continue to wound, embarrass and bring shame on the Church as these ‘official mouthpieces’ continue to dodge ownership of the emptiness of their Churches, the suffering, voilence and harm inflicted by the historical Church, and the living consequences of their perpetuation of such disconnected conceit.

Fortunately for me, this week another cherished friend, who knows of what she speaks reminded me that ‘the Church has always been saved most powerfully & most prophetically by the grace of God working through the laity.’ (h.t. blessed B.C.)

And that other friend, the one I mentioned earlier, who sees so much of the official Church as a toxic parent- well I guess I sort of ‘flipped her paradigm’ as she told me in one of our subsequent conversations.

But back to that earlier conversation- the one with the toxic parent assessment: K.W, (my friend cited above) asked what I thought might be ahead for the Church- referring to my usual frame of reference- transformative process development.

“Well in the short and middle term at least,’ I offered, ‘it’s the Episcopal Church who will continue to be the Holy Spirit’s ‘agent of change’.” And you don’t have to have read Peter Senge’s monumental work –as both of us have- to know that it’s the ‘agents of change’ who most often get cast into a ‘crucified place.’

‘But what do you think will be the next big step- the next transformative moment?’ K.W. asked.

‘Probably when the American Church, at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, Herself, open themselves up to try something different- as a onetime experiment perhaps. However it will be so Penticostally transformative there will be no going back.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘The House of Bishops and the House of Deputies meeting together- as equals at a National Convention of the American Church. One conversation, one sacred process- the accountability of transparency, one vote per. The Church would continue a hierarchy with its three orders of priesthood, but a dynamic hierarchy, a living organism, just as the Body of Christ has always been called to be.’

It took her a moment to respond.

‘You’re not serious? ... WOW.... just WOW.’

We went on to discuss how it’s both obvious and inevitable, if one is living, seeing and believing in the active, transformative presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst; if one has any understanding or appreciation for transformative process. The House of Bishops would continue to pray, meet & debate together in between the national convocations of the Church being called- all together- the living, learning, praying, striving Body of Christ, the perfect embodiment of the ‘learning organization’ Senge refers to in his work.

‘So, it’s not all down the drain for the Church?’ my friend asked from the painful place of her experience.

It took me a moment.

‘When have you ever seen a drain in the floor of one of our Churches ? Drains aren’t even an option in the architecture of the Body of Christ.’

‘If you say so,’ she conceded after a moment.

I laughed. I mean the possibility of anything I might think or say having any effect on the future of our Church is that preposterous.

the inescapable sacrament of our lives

2010-10-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

for a cherished brother- Martin Buber says it much more skilfully and articulately than I- the bolding is mine:

There is something that can be found in one place. It is a great treasure, which may be called the fulfillment of existence. The place where this treasure can be found is the place where one stands.
Most of us achieve only at rare moments a clear realization of the fact that we have never tasted the fulfillment of existence, that our lives do not participate in true, fulfilled existence, that, as it were, it passes true existence by. We nevertheless feel the deficiency at every moment, and in some measure strive to find- somewhere- what we are seeking. Somewhere, in some province of the world or of the mind, except where we stand, where we have been sent- but it is there and nowhere else that the treasure can be found. The environment which I feel to be the natural one, the situation which has been assigned to me as my fate, the things that happen to me day after day, the things that claim me day after day- these contain my essential task and such fulfillment of existence as is open to me. It is said of a certain Talmudic master that the paths of Heaven were as bright to him as the street of a man's native town. It is a greater thing if the streets of a man's native town are as bright to him as the paths of Heaven. For it is here, where we stand, that we should try to make shine the light of the hidden divine life.

Martin Buber, The Way of Man

with much love and a deep bow

AWE-and then-SOME

2010-10-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

What sad and awesome days we get to live through.

First there were the stories- one after another- as the media finally caught on to what our tribe has known for far too long- our young are dying, too often and unnecessarily because of being bullied, taunted and shamed for who they are and who they love.

This is not news, but thankfully the media has made it news lately, and as I read and wept over the details of these young men, I couldn't help but be proufoundly aware of what a powerful, transformative opportunity the Holy Spirit was offering we people of faith to witness, teach and embody the real truth of the life, death and unfailing love of our resurrected Lord.

Yes, I blogged the previous posts, and I emailed: my network of LGBT clergy,a bunch of gay sangha buddies,and some of the most awesome LGBT people of faith I know: urging them to post to IT GETS BETTER, to blog, to be visibly present at the memorials and protests at people of faith.

But there's a whole wondrous lot of folks who have wondrously done so very much more:

First of all Dan Savage and his husband, who couldn't possibly know what an incredible force for love healing and good they were unleashing on the world with their creation of that first post to IT GETS BETTER.

And in their wake the thousands- literally thousands of LGBT folk- MY TRIBE! who posted to the site. I've spent hours listening to you, hearing your stories and blessing you for your generosity.

And as I did I found myself sitting in a strangely familiar place- the realization that once again it was my tribe- the very victims of this violence, both verbal and physical, who were teaching the world; giving them a living example of what it truly means to be human- to be created in the image & likeness of the living God.

Once again it was LGBT owning that 'crucified place' and reaching out to others, the only embodiment love and hope and concrete, experiential advice many of them would know.

It was about then I bombarded many of those I love personally with my e-mail calls to witness and action, and I promptly was struck by two realizations:

As generous and loving, as brave and caring as my spiritual kin in the Church are, they and I both knew our love, encouragement and support couldn't quite be as generous and open-ended as we would all want it to be. By telling LGBT youth at risk they could be assured of unconditional love, support and acceptance at every Anglican/ Episcopal Church, in many cases would have only increased their suffering, their experiences of rejection, bigotry and emotional violence.

In the days which followed a few of our clergy preached, and preached powerfully and none more so than Michael Hopkins, and Ed Bacon of All Saints Passadina.

Two remarkable bishops: Mark Beckwith and George Councell issued a joint letter following the death of Tyler Clementi .

There was a letter from Bishop Mark Sisk to the people of New York

And it was about then that the second realization struck: recognizing how much homophobia is learnt or supported by 'official religion' made these messages necessary, but where was our Church where they were most needed: out there on U Tube
personally embodying to the Love beyond our wildest imagining which created us, redeemed us, sustains us, and daily calls us forth to live life more abundantly?

And it's about then we got the eminently lovable Harry and Wayne and remarkable Father Brian Coleman
And in the days since I continued to storm heaven for our Church to step up to the plate, to not this time blow the opportunity for transformative witness, healing and embodiment.

Well, as cold and damp as it is here in Montreal today, with driven rain and wild winds driving leaves off the trees and into the rain-soaked ground, we were given SUCH a gift- to our Church, to my tribe, to the world, with this: our Bishop Gene Robinson's personal witness... making his POWERFUL witness to God's unfailing, unconditional love and the vocation of LGBT people- right where it needs to be heard right now- on U Tube.

Words.... there's just aren't words for my deep personal gratitude to this cherished brother in Christ; for my appreciation and joy to be able to witness 'the Gene effect-'his powerful, positive presence and the Christ-centered directness of his ministry and for the difference he makes in LGBT lives- never more so than in the hall of more than three thousand LGBT leaders, the first time I heard the bishop speak.

Here's a thought: try imagining what our Church would be like if the blessed faithful of New Hampshire hadn't listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, if they hadn't acted on the answer to their prayers. Moribund, stale, status-fffing-quo ? Worse than you want to imagine!
Thank-you New Hampshire. God bless you New Hampshire- yeah, I know S/He already is, look at the extraordinary gift of a Bishop you got!

Another cherished friend who cannot go unmentioned is notre Grandmere Mimi, bien-aimee. Every step of this current growing awareness by the media of the tragic effects of the bullying of LGBT youth, Mimi has blogged- speaking out against homophobic bullying and lamenting these unnecessary deaths. Mimi has been a longtime courageous ally of full inclusion of the LGBT faithful; a refugee from Roman Catholicism, the lady is a living blessing to our Church, and we are the better for her voice and its witness. Today, Mimi's post directs us to another Church leader John Vest and his pastoral letter against homophobic bullying

And, as another 'much beloved' Elizabeth reminds us, U Tube videos such as Gene & Brian's can be powerful tools of ministry and teaching. Savy Elizabeth tells us, the more often the videos are accessed, the higher they rise in the IT GETS BETTER inventory. So please share them, please pass them on, please share them with the youth in your parishes, in your schools.

Yes,as wonderful as Harry & Wayne are, as powerfully prophetic as Brian and Gene witness to the unconditional, unfailing love of our God, I'm still storming heaven for more; more LGBT Anglicans/Episcopalians who will self-identify as such on camera, and witness to their lives, and their growth and healing in that Love beyond our wildest imagining.

Where are they?

2010-10-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Please don't get me wrong.

I am grateful- deeply grateful and very moved- for the intial act of courage and grace by Dan Savage and his spouse and for the incredible individuals who have stepped up to the plate and given their personal witness- speaking out against the bullying, violence and ugliness too many of our tribe experiences, and none more so than LGBT youth.

Of course, I'm speaking of the It Gets Better initiative.

Early this morning, I read that the original site has literally been overwhelmed with submissions and that Dan and his volunteers are scrambling to organize a site which will be able to accomidate this outpouring. But among all those thoughtful, caring, articulate individuals trying to reassure LGBT teens, I didn't see one priest, one bishop, one self-identifying Episcopalian or Anglican reaching out to those kids.

This evening, an online friend actually sent me a link to an Advocate story featuring some of what it considered the 'best' offerings- and yes, they were both powerful and impressive. But when I'd clicked my way through them all, I found myself needing to go to my bench with a very real sadness I was feeling.

And the longer I mindfully, prayerfully sat with the ache, I was surprised to find it went a lot deeper than either the details of the recent bully & the suicides they caused;or the touching testimonials of the 'It Gets Better' initiative. The underlying ache; the large, deep-muscle bruise is a long-standing one... the hurt of a gay person of faith waiting for the Churches to speak out, to stand up, to place themselves on the front lines with my tribe at this time of ugliness and suffering. Just as we waited in the first dark decades of AIDS on this continent. A time when we were essentially to consider ourselves lucky if certain Churches even agreed to bury our AIDS dead.

And once again, they, the Churches are making themselves noticable by their absence & silence; their seeming indifference; their preoccupation elsewhere in a month which has seen at least gay five suicides directly linked to homophobic bullying.

Though I have not been tracking the stories in any sort of systematic manner, I was only able to find one instance online of a denomination (the Society of Friends) speaking out and demonstrating. Yes, there are commemorative demonstrations and acts of solidarity in several U.S. cities tonight, but where is the voice or example of my own Church.

Once again life has offered our priests and bishops the opportunity to stand in the prophetic place, to embody the Love beyond our wildest imagining which created us, redeemed us, and thankfully continues to sustain us. And once again they the Churches appear to have missed their cue.

Perhaps saddest of all, is the fact their silence, their impotency, thir absence and withholding of their prophetic and healing gifts of ministry, no longer even surprises me.

Dr. Peter's Affirmation

2010-09-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

You might have to be Canadian to appreciate and remember the prophetic impact of the life and work of Dr. Peter Jepson-Young, a very young, beautiful Canadian doctor who came out on national television as a gay man living with HIV/AIDS more than twenty years ago. For the time remaining, this beautiful spirit shared his life and the reality of living with AIDS with the people of Canada on CBC television, and the film made from his weekly broafcast went on to win an Academy Award.

In a very dark and frightening time, living on the front lines of AIDS service when most of our clients often daily lived the marginalization, poverty and rejection of a frightened world, Dr. Peter was a beacon of courage and very real grace for me.

Today marks the 20th Anniversary of the broadcasts, and in love, appreciation and gratitude for the life and example of Dr. Peter Jepson-Young I would offer Dr. Peter's Affirmation.

Affirmation

I accept and absorb all the strength of the earth
to keep my body hard and strong;

I accept and absorb all the energy of the sun
to keep my mind sharp and bright;

I accept and absorb all the life force of the ocean
to cleanse my body and bring me life;

I accept and absorb all the power of the wind
to cleanse my spirit and bring me life;

I accept and absorb all the mystery of the heavens,
for I am a part of the vast unknown.

I believe God to be all these elements,
and the force that unites them;

And from these elements I have come,
and to these elements I shall return;

But the energy that is me will not be lost.

Dr. Peter Jepson-Young
©1987, Dr. Peter AIDS Foundation

Rest eternal grant to him Oh Lord; let light perpetual shine upon him.

Extraordinary-Times Two!

2010-09-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought- twice in one day- two very public admissions that mistakes- costly mistakes have been made!

First, of course. I’m referring to President Barak Obama’s prophetic admission in his address to the American people that the war in Iraq had been a mistake. God bless and protect that man please! As the American war machine gradually withdraws from its occupation of Iraq thousands upon thousands of American soldiers, mercenaries will be coming home to the morass of bankruptcies and dispossession the Republicans and their arch war criminals Bush and Chaney have left the nation in. If we think the Teabaggers are frightening, it’s really only going to get scary when unemployed/underemployed troops, many of them suffering from PTSD find themselves living with the daily realities of American excesses.
God forgive them, some of the returning soldiers may actually call for another war to deliver them from the realities many if not most of us have been struggling with in what the media is now calling the ‘Great Recession,’ though as I know only too well personally, there’s nothing great about any of the mess the f-fing Republican left the American people.

Seriously, I daily beg God’s protection and strength for President Obama; has the world ever seen a more ungrateful, self-obsessed bunch of spoiled brats than the Republicans and their ilk.

Iraq a mistake- the admission wonder number one.

The second one even more startling- the public admission by former president Fidel Castro that the arrest and persecution of Cuban gays during his administration was wrong, and he took personal responsibility for this!

http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/08/31/Castro_Takes_Blame_for_Gay_Persecution/

Of course, he’s only taking responsibility for the legal repression during the first years of his regime as some Log Cabin Queens might only too readily point out, but the man’s got to start somewhere.

The friend who sent me the link to the Castro story, like myself, describes himself as an alienated Anglican and he shares much of my love, passion and respect for the prophetic, transformational possibilities in the Anglican principle of the three legged stool. As we’ve agreed more times than I can remember- often with some frustration or regret- the Anglican model really does have limitless potential for healing & transforming this world- for bringing about the healing, justice and restored humanity implicit in the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But the link in his e-mail was also prefaced by a question: 'Does our Anglican Communion need the example of Fidel Castro, for it to get its shit together and start repenting?'

For their participation in countless generation of misogyny; the objectification, exploitation and abuse of our sisters- never more so than within its own walls.

For their complicity and cowardice in institutionalized, collective and personal anti-Semitism.

For their complicity, profiting and cowardice in the objectification, exploitation, suffering and the essential denial of the humanity people of colour- whether through the obscenities of slavery, colonialization, the Jim Crow laws, or a list of affronts to God and God’s creation too long for this space.

For their on-going objectification, vilification and their participation in the violence, discrimination, murder and objectification of my LGBT brothers and sisters- within and outside the Church.

In certain quarters- often with the best of intentions, I hear individuals within the leadership of our Church – many of who I respect and love personally- wrestling with the future of the Church- calling for a ‘servant Church’ model. Well amateur that I may be, I’m going further. In the name of the Love beyond our wildest imagining- that same Love which created us, Which incarnated and personally suffered the ignorance, hypocrisy, the pettiness and greed, the violence and injustice human beings only too often show themselves to be capable of- the Love which sustains us and continually offers us- individually and collectively- another chance; that same Love which overcame death on the cross and which unfailingly extends Her call to us to live ‘Life more abundantly'; in the name of that same Love, I’m calling for a repentant Church- a Church which not only owns it’s complicit past but which having de-constructed and learned the lessons of its past allows itself to be led by the Holy Spirit into being transformed into the Church God has called us to be since the creation of the world.

None of that ‘easy’ Book of Common Prayer acts of repentance, whose well crafted beauty works the tongue like the finest of wines; I’m suggesting the Church- OUR Church, might be long overdue for the type of transformative repentance which owns the particulars of its past, learns from them and outgrows them by leaving itself open to be re-made, transformed- transfigured. I’m suggesting that God’s Creation has been suffering and longing, bleeding, starving and dying; waiting for the ‘official Church ‘ to get over itself and get on with God’s business of healing the world.

Comment from another alienated Anglican- ‘as long as the Church continues to behave the way it does, it deserves to be deserted, denied and broken open.’ At the time she was actually referring to Rowan’s willingness to sacrifice our Episcopal brothers and sisters for the self-righteous, frightened rage & hate of the Anglican Taliban.

But the earlier question still stands: Does our Anglican Communion need the example of Fidel Castro for it to get its own shit together and start repenting?

To get them thinking...

2010-08-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

Out front weeding the other day with Willie the blessing daschund supervising; one of my neighbours stopped to chat on his way home . The first time we’d ever really talked; he’s in his early thirties and until that day it’s been little more than a cordial but rushed 'Bonjour' or 'Salut'. This happens with a lot of the people on our charmed little street when we're working in the front garden.

As my grandfather would have said, my neighbour's a tall drink of water, with thick 60’s sideburns down either side & a pencil-thin line of dark hair bracketing each side of his chin. Definitely a slightly homely original. When not dressed retro, he’s usually in what I've probably assumed were ‘medical whites-’ perhaps on staff at one of the medical facilities or seniors’ residences within easy distance of our little street. Turns out however he’s a kitchen aid at one of those same facilities, and his irregular hours account for his mid-afternoon return home. Six-a.m. ‘till three p.m. means he’s usually leaving home just before five-thirty in the morning.

It’s when we were speaking of his working hours that the conversation got really interesting. Talking about how his schedule can complicate relationships- out of sync with family, friends or a partner. And here it’s important to remember we were speaking in French where words have a qualifying gender association. Specifically, I’d referred to ‘ton partenaire- elle ou lui devrais...’ ‘your partner, he or she must..’.

In his very next sentence- without making an issue of it- he made it clear the partner was she- 'ma blonde' the girlfriend- and the ease of the clarification as much as anything was a reflection of the very civil reality of living in a country where gender is not a qualifying consideratin for marriage; where the rights of my LGBT tribe has been fully protected under the Canadian Human Rights Charter for decades (Merci encore Pierre Trudeau), and where gay men and women serve with full human dignity in our armed forces. We went on to speak of other things...

He’d already stepped away, and I was back on my knees just about to resume weeding when he hesitated and turned back. 'Est ce que je peut tu demander un question?’ Can I ask you something?

Mais oui..

'Did you really think I might be gay?' Not the slightest hint of anything but amused curiosity in his voice.

I couldn’t help it- I chuckled, and went on to explain that for me referring to the possibility of his partner being of either gender was a courtesy more than speculation about his gender. How, after living as an out gay may for more than a couple decades now, I’ve learned to never under-estimate the wondrous diversity of my LGBT tribe. And besides which, it got him thinking didn’t it?

It took him a moment, but he also laughed. 'You’re right... Growing up, one of my best friends was gay, and he works in construction now. A contractor with his own company. ‘Mais, j’ai jamais pensé que quel q’un pourrais me tromper pour un gaie..’ But I never thought...

Another chuckle, and he headed off for a quick nap and then to prepare supper for his ‘girlfriend’ who doesn’t get home until shortly before six.

And then last evening, a call from F and his partner who live in a state with none of the protection or rights offered to LGBT Canadians. F is in his early eighties. He, and M, his spouse of more than thirty years are both retired academics and apparently the other day heading out to do the groceries, F was stopped in the parking lot by one of his neighbours.

‘All this stuff, going on in California, about gay marriage... If it were possible, would the two of you, at your age even bother?’ Probably nothing more than idle curiosity on her part, F assured me, but I didn’t miss a beat- in reassuring her of course we would. 'The whole nine yards-' he told me, 'you know how M and I love to dress up.'

Apparently, just over a year ago, when invited to attended the black tie wedding of M’s niece ‘up north,’ the two of them had given a lot of thought to rental or purchase of new tuxedos. They’d ended up buying- ‘just in case it ever becomes possible’ F explained.

‘A civil marriage- sure- for the longer overdue legal rights and protections- to help create a new statistical reality...'

'Been married for twenty-eight years,’ F told his neighbour, ‘in the eyes of God at least- which is the only party who really matters.’

F & M were married by an Episcopal priest- a convert himself, he was also responsible for both mens’ encounter with the Episcopal Church- their baptism & confirmation. F & M are also godfathers to one of that priest’s grandsons. Now that's what I call the radical welcome of real mission!

‘You know what really gets me though-’ F told me with a hint of frustration, ‘when they insist on calling it same-sex marriage, as if our bits and pieces are the most important thing about us. ’

M was on their second phone and shared how he still loves confusing folks when he refers to F as his husband. ‘Of course, in the right company, I might also call him my wife...’ he chortled.

Things really got wild when I shared with both men the slight linguistic shift I resorted to several times recently. 'Gender-discordant couples-' and even that’s a little more reactive than I generally like to be. It doesn’t exactly disarm the prejudice and assumption of certain gender-discondantly-inclined individuals to try to impose their definitions what’s normal and acceptable in the eyes of God- but at least sometimes it gets folks thinking- or rethinking, and that’s got to be some sort of progress.

Prophetic Voices

2010-08-09T07:20:00.003-07:00

Still early here, when I write this, but already the day has been nailed down in a larger awareness of our sacred vocation by three living prophets speaking truth to... our wounded, larger world.

First Mark+ Harris, a priest who- from all that I know of the dear man- is a living blessing of impecable integrity, prophetic courage and a wondrous gift to our Church. Mark is writing of 'Mission' specifically, but it sounded to me as one of the clearest expressions of our vocation to meet the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of our daily lives to live and labour- to dance towards becoming the healing, transformative- prophetic Church we are called to be. Mark writes:

Mission is on some important level a natural outgrowth of the Incarnation. If God is present in the world in Jesus, in whom the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and if Jesus was just as we are (yet without sin) then in some way, even in the sin and various small deaths in our lives we ought to be able to find God present, Jesus present, in all we meet. Finding God in new places and living with Jesus Christ present in the stranger is mission... being sent out to see where God is now.

Once we have seen Jesus, God present with us, we are doomed to going out and seeing the face of Jesus in those we meet and come to know. And, in that context - the context of knowing and meeting and caring - the Good News is realized. The Good News is that God has already been there and love those people, and therefore we too can go there and love them, and somehow in the mutuality of that encounter, God's saving Grace is realized.

And while we're still within the sacred process of the Church God is calling us all to be, I'd draw your attention to another post by blessed Elizabeth+ Kaeton at http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2010/08/telling-secrets-about-church.html. The challenging days Elizabeth and her spouse, the blessed Ms. Conroy are living through together has large, prophetic resonances for the vocation and future of our Church. Elizabeth is yet another living blessing and radiant gift to our Church and a deeply cherished friend. I'd not only refer you to this morning's post http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2010/08/telling-secrets-about-church.html but would suggest you keep in touch with Elizabeth's blog in the weeks ahead.

The third prophetic voice is equally powerful and challenging. It's Chris Hedges- a man with whom I may often disagree over his read on details or degree, but whose intelligence, spiritual huger and humanity I greatly respect. I refer you to Chris' latest post 'The Tears of Gaza'

The Tears of Gaza Must Be Our Tears
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/the_tears_of_gaza_must_be_our_tears_20100809/
Posted on Aug 9, 2010
By Chris Hedges

Chris Hedges made these remarks Thursday night in New York City at a fundraiser for sponsoring a U.S. boat to break the blockade of Gaza. More information can be found at www.ustogaza.org.

When I lived in Jerusalem I had a friend who confided in me that as a college student in the United States she attended events like these, wrote up reports and submitted them to the Israel consulate for money. It would be naive to assume this Israeli practice has ended. So, I want first tonight to address that person, or those persons, who may have come to this event for the purpose of reporting on it to the Israeli government.

I would like to remind them that it is they who hide in darkness. It is we who stand in the light. It is they who deceive. It is we who openly proclaim our compassion and demand justice for those who suffer in Gaza. We are not afraid to name our names. We are not afraid to name our beliefs. And we know something you perhaps sense with a kind of dread. As Martin Luther King said, the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice, and that arc is descending with a righteous fury that is thundering down upon the Israeli government.

You may have the bulldozers, planes and helicopters that smash houses to rubble, the commandos who descend from ropes on ships and kill unarmed civilians on the high seas as well as in Gaza, the vast power of the state behind you. We have only our hands and our hearts and our voices. But note this. Note this well. It is you who are afraid of us. We are not afraid of you. We will keep working and praying, keep protesting and denouncing, keep pushing up against your navy and your army, with nothing but our bodies, until we prove that the force of morality and justice is greater than hate and violence. And then, when there is freedom in Gaza, we will forgive ... you. We will ask you to break bread with us. We will bless your children even if you did not find it in your heart to bless the children of those you occupied. And maybe it is this forgiveness, maybe it is the final, insurmountable power of love, which unsettles you the most.

And so tonight, a night when some seek to name names and others seek to hide names, let me do some naming. Let me call things by their proper names. Let me cut through the jargon, the euphemisms we use to mask human suffering and war crimes. “Closures” mean heavily armed soldiers who ring Palestinian ghettos, deny those trapped inside food or basic amenities—including toys, razors, chocolate, fishing rods and musical instruments—and carry out a brutal policy of collective punishment, which is a crime under international law. “Disputed land” means land stolen from the Palestinians. “Clashes” mean, almost always, the killing or wounding of unarmed Palestinians, including children. “Jewish neighborhoods in the West Bank” mean fortress-like compounds that serve as military outposts in the campaign of ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians. “Targeted assassinations” mean extrajudicial murder. “Air strikes on militant bomb-making posts” mean the dropping of huge iron fragmentation bombs from fighter jets on densely crowded neighborhoods that always leaves scores of dead and wounded, whose only contact with a bomb was the one manufactured in the United States and given to the Israeli Air Force as part of our complicity in the occupation. “The peace process” means the cynical, one-way route to the crushing of the Palestinians as a people.

These are some names. There are others. Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish in the late afternoon of Jan. 16, 2009, had a pair of Israeli tank shells rip through a bedroom in his Gaza apartment, killing three of his daughters—Bessan, Mayar and Aya—along with a niece, Noor.

“I have the right to feel angry,” says Abuelaish. “But I ask, ‘Is this the right way?’ So many people were expecting me to hate. My answer to them is I shall not hate.”

“Whom to hate?” asks the 55-year-old gynecologist, who was born a Palestinian refugee and raised in poverty. “My Israeli friends? My Israeli colleagues? The Israeli babies I have delivered?”

The Palestinian poet Taha Muhammad Ali wrote this in his poem “Revenge”:

At times ... I wish

I could meet in a duel

the man who killed my father

and razed our home,

expelling me

into

a narrow country.

And if he killed me,

I’d rest at last,

and if I were ready—

I would take my revenge!

*

But if it came to light,

when my rival appeared,

that he had a mother

waiting for him,

or a father who’d put

his right hand over

the heart’s place in his chest

whenever his son was late

even by just a quarter-hour

for a meeting they’d set—

then I would not kill him,

even if I could.

*

Likewise ... I

would not murder him

if it were soon made clear

that he had a brother or sisters

who loved him and constantly longed to see him.

Or if he had a wife to greet him

and children who

couldn’t bear his absence

and whom his gifts would thrill.

Or if he had

friends or companions,

neighbors he knew

or allies from prison

or a hospital room,

or classmates from his school …

asking about him

and sending him regards.

*

But if he turned

out to be on his own—

cut off like a branch from a tree—

without a mother or father,

with neither a brother nor sister,

wifeless, without a child,

and without kin or neighbors or friends,

colleagues or companions,

then I’d add not a thing to his pain

within that aloneness—

not the torment of death,

and not the sorrow of passing away.

Instead I’d be content

to ignore him when I passed him by

on the street—as I

convinced myself

that paying him no attention

in itself was a kind of revenge.

And if these words are what it means to be a Muslim, and I believe it does, name me too a Muslim, a follower of the prophet, peace be upon him.

The boat to Gaza will be named “The Audacity of Hope.” But these are not Barack Obama’s words. These are the words of my friend the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. They are borrowed words. And Jerry Wright is not afraid to speak the truth, not afraid to tell us to stop confusing God with America. “We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands [killed] in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye,” Rev. Wright said. “We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back into our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost.”

Or the words of Edward Said:

Nothing in my view is more reprehensible than those habits of mind in the intellectual that induce avoidance, that characteristic turning away from a difficult and principled position which you know to be the right one, but which you decide not to take. You do not want to appear too political; you are afraid of seeming controversial; you want to keep a reputation for being balanced, objective, moderate; your hope is to be asked back, to consult, to be on a board or prestigious committee, and so to remain within the responsible mainstream; someday you hope to get an honorary degree, a big prize, perhaps even an ambassadorship.

For an intellectual these habits of mind are corrupting par excellence. If anything can denature, neutralize, and finally kill a passionate intellectual life it is the internalization of such habits. Personally I have encountered them in one of the toughest of all contemporary issues, Palestine, where fear of speaking out about one of the greatest injustices in modern history has hobbled, blinkered, muzzled many who know the truth and are in a position to serve it. For despite the abuse and vilification that any outspoken supporter of Palestinian rights and self-determination earns for him or herself, the truth deserves to be spoken, represented by an unafraid and compassionate intellectual.

And some of the last words of Rachel Corrie to her parents:

I’m witnessing this chronic, insidious genocide and I’m really scared, and questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of human nature. This has to stop. I think it is a good idea for us all to drop everything and devote our lives to making this stop. I don’t think it’s an extremist thing to do anymore. I still really want to dance around to Pat Benatar and have boyfriends and make comics for my coworkers. But I also want this to stop. Disbelief and horror is what I feel. Disappointment. I am disappointed that this is the base reality of our world and that we, in fact, participate in it. This is not at all what I asked for when I came into this world. This is not at all what the people here asked for when they came into this world. This is not the world you and Dad wanted me to come into when you decided to have me. This is not what I meant when I looked at Capital Lake and said: “This is the wide world and I’m coming to it.” I did not mean that I was coming into a world where I could live a comfortable life and possibly, with no effort at all, exist in complete unawareness of my participation in genocide. More big explosions somewhere in the distance outside. When I come back from Palestine, I probably will have nightmares and constantly feel guilty for not being here, but I can channel that into more work. Coming here is one of the better things I’ve ever done. So when I sound crazy, or if the Israeli military should break with their racist tendency not to injure white people, please pin the reason squarely on the fact that I am in the midst of a genocide which I am also indirectly supporting, and for which my government is largely responsible.

And if this is what it means to be a Christian, and I believe it does, to speak in the voice of Jeremiah Wright, Edward Said or Rachel Corrie, to remember and take upon us the pain and injustice of others, then name me a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ.

And what of the long line of Jewish prophets that run from Jeremiah, Isaiah and Amos to Hannah Arendt, who reminded the world when the state of Israel was founded that the injustice meted out to the Jews could not be rectified by an injustice meted out to the Palestinians, what of our own prophets, Noam Chomsky or Norman Finkelstein, outcasts like all prophets, what of Uri Avnery or the Israeli poet Aharon Shabtai, who writes in his poem “Rypin,” the Polish town his father escaped from during the Holocaust, these words:

These creatures in helmets and khakis,

I say to myself, aren’t Jews,

In the truest sense of the word. A Jew

Doesn’t dress himself up with weapons like jewelry,

Doesn’t believe in the barrel of a gun aimed at a target,

But in the thumb of the child who was shot at—

In the house through which he comes and goes,

Not in the charge that blows it apart.

The coarse soul and iron first

He scorns by nature.

He lifts his eyes not to the officer, or the soldier

With his finger on the trigger—but to justice,

And he cries out for compassion.

Therefore, he won’t steal land from its people

And will not starve them in camps.

The voice calling for expulsion

Is heard from the hoarse throat of the oppressor—

A sure sign that the Jew has entered a foreign country

And, like Umberto Saba, gone into hiding within his own city.

Because of voices like these, father

At age sixteen, with your family, you fled Rypin;

Now here Rypin is your son.

And if to be Jew means this, and I believe it does, name me a Jew. Name us all Muslims and Christians and Jews. Name us as human beings who believe that when one of us suffers all of us suffer, that we never have to ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for us all, that the tears of the mother in Gaza are our tears, that the wails of the bloodied children in Al Shifa Hospital are the wails of our own children.

Let me close tonight with one last name. Let me name those who send these tanks and fighter jets to bomb the concrete hovels in Gaza with families crouching, helpless, inside, let me name those who deny children the right to a childhood and the sick a right to care, those who torture, those who carry out assassinations in hotel rooms in Dubai and on the streets of Gaza City, those who deny the hungry food, the oppressed justice and foul the truth with official propaganda and state lies. Let me call them, not by their honorific titles and positions of power, but by the name they have earned for themselves by draining the blood of the innocent into the sands of Gaza. Let me name them for who they are: terrorists

.

Difficult and challenging times though they be, there has never been any possible doubt of the acting, caring, transformative presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst, and of Her unfaltering invitation to us- heart and arms open wide- for us to join Her in the sacred dance of healing this world- and this morning I give heartfelt thanks for each of these three voices and their prophetic courage.

This is NOT a joke

2010-07-14T06:27:00.000-07:00

Truly amazing the grief and pain we are expected to suffer these days in the name of our Anglican faith- and what makes it sadder still is that most, if not all of this comes from the hands of those who so proudly sport their purple shirts and shiny pectoral crosses.
Case in point, an innocent Google news search this morning of the word ‘Anglican’ for the latest in Anglican-land brought up the following headlines:

‘General Synod Gives Anglican Trads in England No Option on Female Bishops’ from Peter J. Smith at something called Lifesitenew.com

‘Gay Anglican blocked from becoming bishop’ from AFP

Perhaps intended as a more positive note, there was also:

‘Church of England bishops 'will be allowed to become nuns', according to Synod source’ from Damian Thompson at the Telegraph UK

‘Anglicans to relax rules on church weddings’ from The Guardian

‘Learn about Anglican chant with new series’ from Lexi Bainas at The Citizen

Not that I look to the secular press for either my theology or spiritual nourishment; I was practicing what became a useful ingredient in the grief management program I co-developed during the darkest years of AIDS here in Montreal. Essentially, what I was looking for this morning was a sense of the message the official organs of our Church was sending to the ‘secular world’ it only too readily objectifies and vilifies.

Perhaps I should have known better; having survived the last decade of life in Anglican-land; but I came away sadder than ever and seriously concerned about the functional competency of certain ‘official Anglicans’ who continue to inflict yet one wound after another on our Church.

In a nutshell, it would appear that by their latest actions, the purple shirts of the CoE are basically telling the world our Church is incapable of engaging with contemporary realities in an authentic, engaging manner, and showing by their actions that the assessment of those who walked out of our pews or who have never darkened are door is correct- our Church is essentially irrelevant to their lives.

‘General Synod Gives Anglican Trads in England No Option on Female Bishops’: That certain quarters within our Church are even having this discussion: questioning the vocations of certain fellow Christians to the episcopacy because of their gender, is scandalous. That they are also wasting time, energy and the Church’s resources arguing over the means for accommodating the self-righteous misogyny of certain quarters is worse than scandalous, especially when one considers that similar pandering to prejudice in the secular world would be considered illegal.

‘Gay Anglican blocked from becoming bishop’ once again, becoming more and more Vatican-like in its pronouncements, the response of an official organ of our Church is a resounding NO to the realities of the sacrament of life in this time and place, apparently never for a moment entertaining the possibility that the Holy Spirit, Herself, might indeed be trying to accomplish a transformative miracle through the incredible, faithful lives and witness of our LGBT brother and sisters in our midst.

Not that this should come as a surprise, following on the heels of Dr. John’s earlier call to the episcopacy, and the shameful violation of his personhood when he was required to assure certain delicate sensibilities that his marriage is indeed celibate.

O.K., but what about the other headlines our Church has made in the last twenty-four hours?

‘Church of England bishops 'will be allowed to become nuns'

Less than a week ago, an e-mail I received bore the caption ‘YOUR Church is a bad joke people don’t even hear anymore-never mind bother to laugh at.’ This from a well-known, Anglican-born, human-rights lawyer who had served in a number of capacities in a wealthy Anglican parish and now worships in the United Church of Canada when she is home here in Canada. ‘More and more Anglican culture is showing itself reactive, incapable and irrelevant of addressing & engaging the complexities of contemporary life on this earth- a mockery of Christ’s passion for his creation,’ she wrote in response to the denial of Dr. John’s candidacy.

‘Anglicans to relax rules on church weddings’

‘Learn about Anglican chant with new series’

The meaningless irrelevancy of these last two should be obvious.

In a world which is literally choking on the fruits of Christian imperialist objectification of God’s creation, where thousand die unnecessarily each hour due to the unchristian distribution of creation’s resources; where millions will never know anything by abject poverty; where wars are waged and anonymous bombs are set off daily in the name of the god certain nations and individuals have been taught, where one half of humanity is objectified, exploited, , still forced to live under legalized discrimination to accommodate fearful misogynists, mutilated, violated and publically stoned, the best the Synod of one of the principal and most visible provinces of our Church can do this morning with the Good News of our lord Jesus Christ is ‘Anglicans to relax rules on church weddings’ and ‘Learn about Anglican chant with new series’?

As simplistic as it might sound, I think there’s only one question I’d ask of Rowan this morning:

What would Jesus do- you remember Him- turning the money changers out of the temple- calling the purity police of his times on their impersonations of whitened sepulchres?

Or if that’s just a little too uncomfortably obvious, how about ‘Just what do you think the Holy Spirit might be trying to accomplish –through the message of our empty pews- the persistent radiant presence of our LGBT brothers and sisters in faith- through the repeated dismissal of your impotent objectification of the complexities of contemporary life- your repeated failure to accommodate misogyny and homophobia in our cannons and congregations – and the toxic results complicity in corporate culture and your refusal to prophetically witness to the fruits of imperialistic hubris?

Yes, there is the shining exception of our American brothers and sisters- led by our wondrous sister +Katherine, and forever indebted to the courage and faith of the current Bishop of New Hampshire in answering God’s call to the episcopacy; which essentially resulted in our Church being dragged- kicking and self-righteously screaming in some quarters, into the twentieth century. But the price these two individuals, and countless others have paid and continue to pay is unconscionable and should be an embarrassment to our Church.

And perhaps that’s what saddens me the most this morning- the possibility that in certain quarters these issue might be little more than the contemporary version of debating how many angels can dance on the head of a metaphorical pin. While for the rest of us –the little guys- our faith can literally at times be a matter of life and death, a costly reality. Our faith is not an 'academic matter. Our lives are lives are not a joke for the jousting and idle speculation of purple shirted egos.

Another voice I’ve listened to within the last week- another life-long Anglican told me she doesn’t even want to hear from the Church anymore, whose involvement is reduced to Sunday eight o’clock communion and the generous monthly check she send by mail. ‘I’m beginning to feel like one of those Roman Catholics who live their faith inspite of their Church- inspite of the foolishness over birth control, inspite of the scandals of pedophile priests, inspite of the silly get-ups and obscene excesses seemingly necessary for the Roman rite while millions starve and children die of malnutrition.

And judging by this morning’s offerings of the currently most visible quarter of our Church to the world, I understand exactly what she’s saying.

Rowan the Irrelevant and John the.... (well that one may be only too obvious I’m afraid) you’ve sacrificed the very last suggestion of any confidence in your leadership, in this quarter at least. ‘Official’ though you may be, you leave me feeling something other than Anglican- one of those folks with no option but to live and find their faith in but inspite of the antics of their ‘Official Church.’

We are indeed a people of hope, as one much loved brother reminds me, and all my hope is on the working of the Holy Ghost in this sorry mess, and thankfully She’s not finished with us yet!

2010-06-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

I post this in love, prayers & faith for a truly treasured friend in faith Kirstin, who today enters hospital to begin a punnishing first round of treatments for her second travail in the school of cancer.

Kirstin, who blogs at http://barefootandlaughing.blogspot.com/ is a member of the Episcopal Church in Californa & has a wonderful ministry with street people.
Articulate, intelligent, gutsy- qualities I love in many of the people I love; no one is more surprised than I how cherished this being has become to me, how much her struggle has woven itself in my heart and its days.

I'm asking........no make that begging your prayers for Kirstin

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul !

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Love you Kirstin

We Stand Inside Your Church

2010-06-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

This past week-end the U.S. celebrated/honoured the memory of Stonewall, of those who have gone before us, those we may have lost for now.
What better time to remember the work of a LGBT elder and personal hero- Malcolm Boyd - who has graced and suffered our Church as a priest for more than fifty years.
This prayer comes to us through the generous ministry of Kittredge Cherry, an author & radiant minister in the MCC Church, and is offered with love and profound gratitude most particularly for the radiant priesthood of two treasured brothers in faith, who actually got to meet each other this past week-end.

We Stand Inside Your Church
By Malcolm Boyd

Christ, as lesbians and gay men we stand inside your church and know a wholeness that can benefit it. We learned long ago that we must regard the lilies of the field, putting our trust in you.

Pressured to hide our identities and gifts, we have served you with an unyielding, fierce, vulnerable love inside the same church that condemned us.

Carefully taught that we must feel self-loathing, nevertheless we learned integrity and dignity and how to look into your face and laugh with grateful joy, Jesus.

Although we have suffered a long and continuing torture, we assert a stubborn, unshakable faith in your holy justice.

Negativism was drummed into us as thoroughly as if we were sheet metal. We learned what it is to be misunderstood, perceived as alien, even sometimes hated. Yet, because of your grace and love, we witness to the fullness and beauty of all human creation, including ours, in your image.

We are alive and well and stand inside your church. Bless us, Christ, to your service.

source:Equal Rites: Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies, and Celebrations

Standing on one’s head: the view from here

2010-06-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

It never ceases to surprise me, how the Holy Spirit continues to ambush us with aah-ha moments of insight or understanding, unexpected gifts of renewal or affirmation, or deep, often tearful reminders of our interconnectedness- and what’s fun about these gifts is the unexpected places one often finds them waiting for us.

Case in point, the current online edition of The Anglican Journal.

As those closest to me know, I bare real psychic wounds in which our local Anglican Church was very complicit, in addition to regularly having to wrestle with my gay-man-of-faith frustration and pain over much of what goes on in the name of ‘officially Anglican.’ That said, I am, as one ‘recovering Catholic’ friend said recently ‘up to your proverbials in this Anglican soup.’ At the time I suggested it might more interestingly be considered a ‘transformative brew.’

Which brings me back to the current edition of The Anglican Journal. Yes, the coverage mentioned the recent national synod without any mention of the cowardly side-step which effectively left our American brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ out to dry. But the nugget which figuratively, if not literally had me standing on my head was in another story- the special report on the Truth and Reconciliation Commission.

Something truly sacred is going on in my country at present, and happily I am able to say that our Anglican Church is not only participating, but led by our primate ++Fred Hiltz, they are playing an active & visionary role in its realization. I’m referring to the current exercise which sees representation from government and the historically complicit Christian denominations meeting with the survivors of what is still shamefully referred to as the ‘Indian Residential Schools’ to recognize their stories of physical, sexual, emotional and mental abuse. With no concrete information to support it, I personally give a lot of credit to the current primate ++Fred Hiltz for our Church’s remarkable openness; all the while mourning the fact that he has failed to be equally visionary in leading our Church towards full LGBT inclusion (another story for another day.)

The ‘nugget’ is to be found in:

http://www.anglicanjournal.com/nc/news-items/article/special-report-truth-and-reconciliation-commission-trc-9238.html and is a comment by a First Nation Roman Catholic nun, Sister Eva Solomon:

“One of the most pervasive forms of violence is colonialism…It destroys our psyche, spirit, mind and body. It’s the root we really have to work at,” she said. “What colonialism did was to impose a different identity on us.”
"The European colonizers that came to Canada “made us believe that our political spiritual system wasn’t good enough,” said Sr. Solomon. “Our own original sin is that we personalized that and we felt we weren’t good enough.”

Our own original sin is that we personalized that and we felt we weren’t good enough- you see why I used the term ‘ambush’ earlier- how about being literally stopped in my tracks?

As several of my partners in prayer and practice know, ‘original sin’ has been a burr under my personal saddle of practice for some time- for a number of reasons- not the least being the its Imperial imposition in the second century CE; the damaging predictability of its propagation and the selective amnesia much of the Church appears to be currently practicing on the consequences of such teaching.

Elsewhere, I’ve written of elements of the necessary ground work I feel we have to embrace in we are truly to join the Holy Spirit in becoming the Church we are continually being called to be. High on the list would be the origins and effects of the Church’s propagation of this toxic doctrine.

It doesn’t take an ‘A’ in Psych 101 to see it for the degrading self-fulfilling prophesy it is, or to tease out the dualism, objectification of patriarchy within and the essential insult it is to God.

It is my understanding that one of the early terms for this doctrine, still in use within the Orthodox Church is ‘ancestral sin’ ; which, I would suggest, in the light of current understanding of the human creature and the long trail of suffering, self-wounding and exploitation the result of this Imperialistic doctrine could more aptly described as the propagation of ancestral sin.

To only state the obvious: you tell a kid they’re sinful, vile or even an abomination often enough- all words found in our earlier BoCP, and the outcome’s almost inevitable.

“Our own original sin is that we personalized that and we felt we weren’t good enough.”

They weren’t perfect- none of us are- they were children, kidnapped from the world they knew, treated little better than animals, by a bunch of bossy, at times violent strangers.

They were frightened and often alone- with concepts, rules and a language imposed on them that not only denied their God given uniqueness, their beauty and humanity, but which insisted that who they were- the Indian in them- had to be killed and be remade into something else.

Could the paralells with the newborn human state be any clearer

They were kids- like us all, when the Church’s reign of original sin was imposed on us.

Imperfect, frightened, alone- hardly ground for the invention of a self-fulfilling, exploitive, wounding & degrading doctrine in the name of God.

Unintentionally, I apparently stopped a friend in her tracks some time ago with my suggestion that it was more than overdue- the time when we as a Church began behaving as a redeemed people.

‘Literally, you’ve got me consciously questioning- no, consciously stepping outside the dualistic assumptions of patriarchy and looking at the backside of the great tapestry we call Christianity,’ she told me, using one of the images from our earlier conversation.

And that, I would suggest, is what we have to be doing collectively as a Church. Simply disarming, or avoiding the embarrassment of earlier teachings is not enough. From all that’s been going on in our Church of late it should be only too clear that what the Holy Spirit is calling is to- yet again- is radical & complete renewal outside the necessarily dualistic objectification of both God’s people & all creation. A process which requires us to name, own and deconstruct the articles and artefacts of the patriarchal monolith men-largely straight white men- have so shamefully made of the Good News of Jesus Christ and of our vocation to be the living Body of Christ .

Happily there was a second story in the current Anglican Journal on the Commission. A poetic reflection on the first days of the Commission http://www.anglicanjournal.com/nc/news-items/article/a-writers-notebook-9240.html which, when I discovered it, I personally took as a reminder that no matter how silly and disheartening the antics of certain purple shirts and other ‘official Anglicans’ might have been of late, the Holy Spirit is very much alive and among us, and SHE hasn’t given up on us either- Thanks be to God!

But there was also another nugget in the first story, and I wonder if it might have had the same effect on others- literally moving me to tears. It’s in the witness of the Rev. Margaret Mullen, ‘I have to remember that I’m accepted by the Creator.”

This post was written out of deep and abiding gratitude to our First Nations People- for their generosity of spirit, their very real grace and patience - for the lessons they are offering us, and out of love and gratitude of one particular cherished sibling in Christ who could well share Ms. Mullen’s native name ‘Thundering Eagle Woman’ and whose First Native ancestry brings much to the passionate gift of her priesthood.

Namaste.

The Ridiculous and yes, The Sublime: Pentecost 2010

2010-05-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I’ve reversed the usual order ‘sublime and the ridiculous,’ but it’s only to reflect the unfortunate reality of how things too often happen within our Communion; when the cowardly, divisive pontificating of one of our most visible purple shirts receives wider visibility and audience than the prophetic voice of one said purple shirt would most probably be incapable of even hearing- inspite of all his degrees (honary & earned), the numerous books he’s published, the company he keeps and the rather excessive real estate he occupies.

Visitors to this space will know who and what I’m referring to, though thankfully we have keener minds than mine to give ‘Rowan the Irrelevant’s’ Pentecostal pronouncement more attention that it really merits. It particular, I’d draw your attention to

http://frjakestopstheworld.blogspot.com/2010/05/canteburys-pentecost-punishments.html where Terry+ comes to his own prophetic conclusions. Thank-you Terry+

http://anglicanfuture.blogspot.com/2010/05/thoughts-on-abcs-pentecost-letter.html where Mark+ Harris, another shining gift of the Episcopal Church to our Communion takes 'R the I' apart, stands him on his head and reminds us of what our calling to be the Body of Christ is really all about. Thank-you Mark+

http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2010/05/just-say-no.html where Elizabeth+ reminds of some of the reason she's loved and appreciated by so many of us with her dismissal of Rowan's latest for the impotent foolishness that it realy is. Love you Mother Elizabeth+

Poor Rowan, every time I see his name he's either posturing or postificating- from either one of his palaces, as the rest of the world waits for him to activate the listening exercise our Church has been promising/proposing for decades now.

But Praise God! this Pentecost, among other blessings saw another gift to the Church- one which unfortunately will probably not get the distribution it deserves.

Ironicaly, the post got written because its author, unlike most Sundays was unable to attend his parish-and I can't help but wonder if there's not something wonderful in that simple detail, because, at knees in his parish Church, or at home this brother waxed posatively prophetic asking quesitons our Church in all its orders needs to hear.

I'm referring to Counterlight's 'Something to Ponder for Pentecost Sunday' http://counterlightsrantsandblather1.blogspot.com/2010/05/something-to-ponder-for-sunday.html written by a member of the Episcopal Church who is not only an articulate academic, an art historian of some note, but also an accomplished artist whose work I appreciated and wrestled with long before blogging came along.

Yet another time that one of my on-line siblings-in-Christ sent blessing my way via her post on Counterlight's post- merci milles fois Chere Mimi.

Not wanting to deprive anyone of the experience of the original I'd only quote:

Is homosexuality the issue that we really want to define the Christian faith? Already, when people are asked what the Christian faith is all about, opposition to abortion and homosexuality immediately comes to their minds, not the Incarnation or the Resurrection, or salvation, still less anything that could be called "Love." Are those who are breaking up the Anglican Communion solely over this issue prepared to shoe-horn opposition to homosexuality into the Nicene and Apostle's Creeds? Do they really see it up there with belief in the Resurrection and the Trinity

I would argue that what's really in peril are not gays and lesbians. We'll always be around no matter how many of us get killed.What's really in danger is the Christian religion. If it wants to be taken seriously by the rest of the world as anything other than institutionalized bigotry and superstition, then it must take the lead on a major human rights issue. As I've argued repeatedly before, what the institutionalized homophobia of the churches offends is not people's sense of permission (as the right argues), but their moral sense, their deepest sense of what is right and fair. That's why there are so many heteros out there willing to go to bat over this issue on behalf of gays and lesbians

Did the Savior who forgave His murderers from the Cross without their asking limit His Love and Mercy to those who meet membership requirements, or to those who could pass a catechism exam? Did God put another asterisk beside His pronouncement that His creation is good? Did God make anything that was not good?

Long after reading, and re-reading Counterlight's prophetic call one question kept haunting me:

Is homosexuality the issue that we really want to define the Christian faith?

As if Rowan's Pentecostal posturing weren't enough there was also a story online about a plan to organize international pulpit swapping between those formerly known as the Anglican purity police. Does this appear to anyone else to smack of Christian imperialism? Next thing we know they'll be organizing their own 'theologically pure' travel agency.

In the meantime, I'm waiting for an honest answer to Counterlight's question- from someone other than any of my 'usual, beloved suspects.' Most any bishop will do.

I'm waiting.

“Because God is bigger than the church.”

2010-05-17T04:16:00.000-07:00

What a Saturday!

Even at this remove- here in Montreal, I was so very aware of just what wonder was taking place in Long Beach CA that day. A mixed weather day here, with several visitations of rain which were perfect for the garden and keeping me centered on the practice as I sat in prayer and solidarity with the siblings in Christ assembling in the Long Beach convention centre.

I’ve written elsewhere and often of what an enormous blessing and privilege it is- this new collegial solidarity- being able to uphold each other in prayer and practice because of the sharing and connection made possible by the internet, and never more so than on Saturday when so many of the individuals I love and admire, and yes regularly uphold in prayer were assembled for the consecration of Diane and Mary to the episcopacy of the Church of God.

Starting perhaps with the obvious: ‘The Great ++Katherine’, the Giant of New Hampshire, ‘+Barbara the bleloved Harris’, +Jon Bruno, Ed+ Bacon, Susan+, Elizabeth+ and all those other wonderful brothers and sisters willing to leave themselves open to the sheer wonder of the Holy Spirit doing something truly awesome & breathtakingly wonderful in our time- the priests, the laity- all that praise and celebration. But in the three hours of my practice of solidarity there was so much more- a certain young man Tommy Braveheart fighting for his life with the love, support, presence and prayers of his two wonderful parents- which I’d never have known about but for our dear Margaret- another young man Declan in the same situation for another reason placed on my heart by another treasured brother, Paul,

Which brings me to where I am this morning, as the early morning sun streams in through the doorway after having blessed my emerging garden- Thanks.

Not too often of late we’ve heard thanks within the councils and halls of our Church, so this morning I get to strike my own list:

To our brothers and sisters in the Episcopal Church for their prophetic courage, faithfulness and openness to the working of the Holy Spirit in the raw and confusing reality of our times; for your embodied love not only of our tradition but your passionate conviction that the Good News of the Gospel and the working of the Holy Spirit Herself are more relevant than ever, and for the audacious ways in which you embody this certainty. Thank-you.

To many of the articulate, passionate and visionary voices you have given to the current..... ‘discussions.’ Thank-you. This morning, among others Mark+ Harris, Terry+ Martin, Barbara+ the beloved Harris, Elizabeth+, Susan+, +Jon Bruno, Ed+ Bacon, Katie Sherrod, our own Barbi Click, Thank-you.

To the Giant of New Hampshire- living blessing, beloved brother and prophetic witness that he is- God alone knows how heartfelt and real my personal thanks- Thank-you +Gene.

To ‘The Great ++Katherine’ (that’s how we pray for her in our home) - for your visionary calm, your articulate intelligence, for your courage and passionate love of our Church, for your long-suffering grace and fortitude in the face of much of what you’ve suffered at the hands of smaller, frightened minds- Thank-you.

To get very personal for a moment- to two radiant priests (P.S. & M.W.), each of them very real & blessed leaven in my life, and along with dear Grandmère, the source of much of the privilege of intercessory connection I mentioned earlier- a heartfelt Thank-you.

To the whole wonderful mix of the American Church, and most particularly those I have not mentioned by name- Thank-you. In your process and praise you continue to serve as a reminder that our Church is part of the living Body of Christ and not a liturgical museum, participants in the sacred dance of Life with the Holy Spirit Herself and not an accidental collection of quirky misfits.

Which brings me to one of the two most recent gifts from the American Church to the world- our +Mary Glasspool. Through the good offices of IT- another gift of the American Church- at http://friends-of-jake.blogspot.com/ I learned that Mary’s favourite passage of Scripture are the same two verses which have kept me going through the thick and thin of the last couple of decades Romans 8:38 – 39:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I learned this, and much else thanks to the link IT had posted to The Advocate profile on our newest bishop at http://advocate.com/Print_Issue/Features/A_Woman_of_Faith/ Thank-you IT.

Rumbling and rattling of Episcopal staffs, threats and dire predictions, waffling and wiggling that there might be within ‘certain,’ too predictable quarters of the Communion this Monday morning; I think it is only right and proper to give the first & last word of this post to our newest bishop- a word which resonates with those of a passage of Scripture we both treasure:

“Because God is bigger than the church.”

Bishop Mary Glasspool, http://advocate.com/Print_Issue/Features/A_Woman_of_Faith/

2010-05-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

For almost a week now I have been living and practicing with some pretty serious physical pain- the result of a reoccurrence of a double Charlie-horse which first occurred the summer following the death of my dear Louis. The third reoccurrence since then, this has been the worst pain ever from this, which could be a reflection of my age as much as anything.
Almost a week now, there is still some pain, but the primary issue is now getting some strength back into the muscles of my left calf muscles. All to say, though the post I refer to here appeared a week ago now, I have been in no shape until now to complete this entry. In the meantime, practicing with pain has been incredibly insightful and the opportunity for all sorts of intercessory/metta practice.

Amazing how the Holy Spirit is continually reaching out to engage us, especially when we leave ourselves open to wrestling with the great questions and ambiguities of living a life of faith in such complex times. Recently, it was a post by a wonderful priest who is not only a cherished sister but also a powerfully prophetic voice in our process of becoming the Church we are called to be.

In one post http://leaveitlay.blogspot.com/2010/04/o-god-laced-with-finest-cuss-words-i.html 'It’s Margaret' managed to not only blast me wide open, leaving me aching and in tears with the tragedy of Julie & John; she also echoed my own continual struggles with the violence in Scripture; she waxed positively prophetic, calling the American House of Bishops/House of Deputies on their indiscriminate use of such problematic scriptures in our liturgies- a call I would suggest which is long overdue.

I will not presume to either parse or extract Margaret’s powerful post found here http://leaveitlay.blogspot.com/2010/04/o-god-laced-with-finest-cuss-words-i.html however I would urge you to not only read it, but to seriously consider enrolling Margaret’s blog in your favorties or whatever it is more technically savvy people do. Not only is Margaret’s online ministry one of the most gloriously human and prophetic out there, she also contextualizes her posts with extracts from our daily lectionary.

And of course, as if the prophetic challenge of Margaret’s post weren’t enough there were personal resonances to my reading Margaret’s post.

Essentially, Margaret’s challenge to the HoB/D was:

A reminder that while we believe that Scripture contains all things necessary for salvation, not everything in Scripture is either necessary or conducive to salvation.

A witness to the perils and human consequences of idolatry- and never more so than when it is practiced towards a document with multiple authors, a staggering diversity of cultural contexts and written over a span of more than a thousand years.

A call to those responsible for the design and organization of our liturgical calendar to resort to that third medium of Anglican practice- intelligence- in their use & selection of Scripture for our liturgies.

All of which, of course mirrors some of my own issues with certain practices within our Church at this time.

Sitting with ‘the Margaret effect’ also brought to mind a recent conversation with another cherished online contact ‘P’ who, like myself, was a recipient of Bart Ehrman’s ‘’Jesus Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (and why we don’t know about them)” from a mutual contact with her wishes for a challenging Lent.

Ehrman, a Biblical scholar of some repute and a successful popularizer of contemporary Biblical scholarship, teaches at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and I have read and appreciated several of his earlier books. I would be the last person on earth to feel qualified to either critique or review Ehrman’s work; I would however suggest that it deserves serious consideration and reflection on the part of people of faith.

‘P,’ a recovering Roman-Catholic and ‘joyous newbie Episcopalian’ (to use his term) had never read Ehrman before, and was seriously shaken but much of what he read for its implications for our current Church practice. During his reading we ended up speaking several times on the phone, and not surprisingly the questions ‘P’ raised went right to the heart of the matter.

Having discovered that Ehrman now identifies as an atheist, P wanted to know if Ehrman’s interpretation of contemporary scholarship was either erroneous or skewed, where was the response of the academic community within our Church, challenging or dialoguing with this very successful author? Where was the rethinking of our current use of the Scriptural canon in our liturgies? And where were the teaching opportunities being developed to explore the implications of the historical/critical method of Scriptural study?

Basically, if Ehrman’s work is indeed ‘correct’ why is our Church not reflecting the contradictions and ambiguities of Scripture in its teaching and liturgical practices?

Which brings to mind another conversation of more than two years ago with an Anglican academic who has contacted me about getting together during her visit to Montreal.

This was our second meeting, our first alone and we were having coffee at a café across from the university building where I worked. I no longer even remember the Scriptural passage we were discussing, but my visitor had heard it the previous Sunday in the St. James Cathedral in Toronto which she had been visiting for a conference. Whatever it was, as a feminist scholar my visitor was taking well-deserved issue with it.

When I reminded her that the bad theology expressed in that particular passage was a reflection of the cultural context at the time of the book’s creation, my friend frothed more richly than her cappuccino. ‘Exactly! So why was this misogynist embarrassment even included in liturgy... And to make matters worse, it wasn’t even referenced in the sermon. What sort of subliminal message does this send to the person in the pew.’

Who knows, perhaps we even coined a term that afternoon- ‘lazy liturgy’ but there was also ‘sleepwalking through the Scriptural canon.’

‘You know what really pisses me off is that once again it’s being left to the laity to rock this particular boat.’ That’s a money quote, and I’ve recalled it verbatim.

My friend went on at great length about her experiences of too many clergy just ‘going through the motions’ and what an insult it is to both their congregation and the liturgy.

Trying to put a positive spin on things I commented on what a challenging and necessary gift she was to the Church and reminded her of many of the incredible engaged Anglicans we both know from their online ministries (you know who you are Beloved Giants).

‘That’s just it,’ she reminded me. ‘I have my own fulltime job, a house to run, two children and a husband, to say nothing of the new program I’m putting together... Besides which, I’m not even a theologian!’

We eventually went on to my work on ‘A Church Unafraid,’ creating transformational models and how the Church must to come clean on several fronts in order to free itself from its self-made straightjacket of patriarchal dualism in order to meet the Holy Spirit and embrace Her vision of the Church we are called to be. But sitting here tonight, thinking of http://leaveitlay.blogspot.com/2010/04/o-god-laced-with-finest-cuss-words-i.html and my cherished friend and her prophetic priesthood, another ‘money quote’ came to mind. It’s Matthew Fox, quoting M.D. Chenu, the French theologian who not only participated in Vatican II, but also played a key role in the worker priest movement:

M.D. Chenu used to insist that the New Testament priesthood was not about cult but about prophecy. Priests were to be prophetic.

And in the same essay:

Worship ought to be the energy source from which a people heals itself and lets go and starts over.

and of course, being dear Father Fox there’s more to this quote:

The postmodern worship makes all this possible and even fun.

No lines ( or line-ups) in the Kingdom of God

2010-04-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

It is our Christian duty not to draw lines around who is in and who is out, who is welcome and who is not. It is a Christian discipline to care, and act in abundance, because all things we have, are not ours, but are from the One who made all things and holds all things in being

It's Margaret http://leaveitlay.blogspot.com/2010/04/extranjeros.html

How about a little prophetic leadership please?

2010-04-19T04:57:00.000-07:00

(Knocking of the door of the American HOB) Hello... Anybody awake in there?

(Knocking at 815) C’mon folks, doesn’t anyone have something to say on this matter? Katherine? Bonnie? Please?

(Knocking at the doors of The Trinity Institute, The Alban Institute, The Consultation)

C’mon folks, where’s your voice?

What I’m trying to muster in the above scenario is an effective response to is the latest bit of flimlammery and blatant misrepresentation from the schismatic voices of the radical right. In this case from David Bena, the retired Suffragan Bishop of Albany N.Y. who has also chosen to leave TEC for his own reasons.

It may not have made national headlines; the only reason I know of Mr. Bena’s recent public misrepresentations up here in Montreal is due to the good services of a treasured friend and living gift to our Church- Grandmère Mimi http://thewoundedbird.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-tec-on-wayward-path.html who posted on a recent opinion piece by the former Amercian suffragan bishop in the Richmond Times Dispatch. An opinion piece which has, far as I can tell, gone unchallenged in the public discourse except for Mimi’s post and the great work of Openly Episcopal in Albany http://drbones.typepad.com/openly_episcopal_in_alban/2010/04/tec-formally-rejected-the-authority-of-scripture-the-painful-irony-is-that-tecs-decision-to-reject-the-authority-of-gods.html

Not that I’d want to do anything to further Mr. Bena’s personal confusion- I mean, he has apparently continued to preach and celebrate at times within venues of the Episcopal Church, inspite of his very public departure and his equally public opinions. But a lie is still a lie, and I can’t help but ask where is the prophetic rebuttal from any quarter within our Church- other than the faithful Grandmère Mimi and the folks at Openly Episcopal in Albany.

I mean brother David did choose to make this public. And in such a situation I think it is more than obvious that his misrepresentation must be engaged in a similar quarter.

The first two sentences from his piece would suffice:

The painful irony is that TEC's decision to reject the authority of God's Word has been gravely injurious, and has itself caused the very division that TEC's leaders claimed they sought to avoid. Once someone rejects Scripture, then they reject Jesus Christ and Christianity as a whole.

Either former suffragan Bena has been suffering from a serious medical condition which has kept him painfully unaware of the last several decades of events both within the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion, or he is intentionally, and I would suggest maliciously misrepresenting the current reality.

And surely our Church can do better than yours truly for publicly rebutting these misrepresentations; but for the record:

Neither the people or the leadership of The Episcopal Church has at any time rejected either the authority of God’s Word, the lordship of our saviour Jesus Christ- or the implications of either articles of our living faith.

It is not the leadership of the Episcopal Church, but rather individuals such as yourself, Mr. Bena, who have chosen this ‘very division’ which has resulted from your personal opinions and actions, and resulted in the gravely injurious damage our Church has undergone. It is you sir who have chosen the path of schism, litigation, and if your most recent public utterance is any example, also chosen the path of wilful misrepresentation.

In addition, I would suggest that your objectification of Holy Scripture as a static, inerrant record not only denies decades of important Scriptural scholarship; it also suggests idolatry to be the standard of faithful Christian practice in your personal opinion.

Contrary to Mr. Bena's recent public misrepresentation of the current reality, I would suggest that of all of the provinces of our beloved Church, it is The Episcopal Church who has most prophetically, faithfully and courageously embodied our vocation to meet and engage the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of our redeemed lives and our vocation to be the living Body of Christ.

One need look no further than the methodology and practice at the recent Anaheim General Convention:

It was prayerfully transparent- one has only to ask any delegate about the weight of documentation provided in advance for their study, prayer and reflection.

It was intentionally structured, in both its public liturgies and collegial reflections to be open to the working of the Holy Spirit in that time and place.

It actively referenced all three principles of Anglican practice- Holy Scripture, Tradition & Intelligence, in its practice, and determinations.

And I might add, it was incarnational when our priests and bishops left their councils to march in solidarity with the exploited workers of the Disney corporation.

Which brings me to my real point- which for lack of a better term I might call the Palin effect- hopefully without giving that poor, misguided individual too much credit.

As patently obvious as Mr. Bena’s misrepresentations might be to many of us, the fact is he has made them in a very public venue. They have been read and resonated with some who may not have taken the time and effort to follow and prayerfully, critically evaluate recent events within our Church. Individuals who, for a variety of other personal reasons, may feel Mr. Bena’s misrepresentations speaks to or confirms their own feelings of powerlessness, isolation or personal frustration.

It is my sense that this is how phenomena like Ms. Palin and her ilk gained traction and momentum, and I would suggest that the time is long passed when our Church can afford to allow public spectacles such as Mr. Bena’s misrepresentation to go unchallenged.

It’s called leadership. It’s called accountability-necessarily public accountability only because of the venue Mr.Bena has chosen.

As long as we as a Church remain silent in the face of such misrepresentations we essentially allow individuals such as Mr. Bena to define the current reality within our Church in the public sector.

We need look no further than Ms. Palin’s public visibility, the ‘inches of ink’ she continues to receive, the crowds who turn out to listen to her divisive, skewed take on reality, to see what I am suggesting.

It is my sense that the Democratic Party and the American public made a serious mistake when they settled for mocking and effectively underestimating the former governor of Alaska. And as a result they effectively allowed her the unchallenged airtime and space to create her own version of ‘truth on the ground.’

In the instance of Mr. Bena, I would suggest what is at stake here is our vocation to act as the living Body of Christ. We might individually recognize his recent piece for the misrepresentation for what it is, but as members of the Body of Christ we do have a responsibility towards our brothers and sisters who for whatever reason are not likewise engaged with the current adventure of engaging with the Holy Spirit in the inescapable sacrament of our lives of faith.

I might also suggest that if the best our Church can do in this current instance is the witness of my personal Queen of the South (Grandmère Mimi) and yours truly, we might indeed be in some degree of real difficulty.

What are they so afraid of?

2010-04-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

An interesting conversation the other evening with someone calling long-distance in the hope I’d be ready to join her in a point-by-point tussle with the House of Bishops report on what they insist on calling ‘Same Sex Relationships in the Life of the Church’.
‘Haven’t you even read it?’ she asked with some incredulity, a frustrated rustling of her thoroughly notated hardcopy version in the background.

‘Skimmed it,’ I admitted. ‘It’s really doesn’t interest me-‘

‘-What.... wait a minute, what’s going on here? When you and I first connected online it was just how much you obviously care and the standard you hold our Church to which had me sending you that first e-mail.’

‘That was before Lambeth,’ I reminded my friend.

‘So how about answering the question then... what’s going on that you’ve only skimmed what just might be the most prophetic challenge to date to the Anglican purity police?’

‘Hardly prophetic, and you’re forgetting ‘Claiming the Blessing’ and a lot of other great work by Integrity USA; to say nothing of the witness of The Chicago Consultation- now that’s living into a new day for our Church.’

‘O.K.... So tell me.’

‘You could start with the title- ‘Same Sex Relationships in the Life of the Church,’ not only is it implicitly hetero-centric in its methodology; our church is once again objectifying my people according to their genital combination. Likewise the title completely overlooks the fact that the vast majority of LGBT people are still outside the Church because of the hurt, discrimination, objectification and rejection they have experienced at the hands of that same Church. Talk about a convenient omission.’

‘Mmmm.’

‘This title is not only an insulting & dishonest representation of the current reality, it suggests the whole exercise really isn’t going anywhere.’

‘Same-old, same old you mean?’

‘Exactly- where’s even the slightest suggestion of something new- of a prophetic possibility?’

‘Well it is meant to be a discussion paper?’

‘Without any real methodology it’s meaningless. If you just throw it out there without either a supported context or the accountability of a timeline nothing really has to happen- no consequences.’

‘Such as?’

‘Where’s the website for people to register their life experience and their insights from reading the report, to share their sense of where our Church is being led? And just exactly where is this paper supposed to be heading? Without an open frank engagement which is able to benefit from the insights and experience of all the faithful it’s essentially an empty exercise. Even worse would be if it were simply voted on by the House of Bishops- talk about curia syndrome.’

‘Curia syndrome?’

‘When certain quarters within our Church forget themselves and start acting like some outpost of the Vatican.’

‘Wow... so how would you have cast the exercise?’

‘How about calling it exactly what it is supposed to be- ‘A New Thing’?’

‘Open-ended enough for.... prophetic possibilities.’

‘And the recognition of the hurtful and exclusionary experiences of the Church by too many LGBT people.’

‘No hetero-centric objectification there... so why d’you think they settled for what they did?’

‘Because maybe, just maybe in some quarters, certain individuals still don’t really get what’s going on in our Church?’

‘Sounds like our old conversation about magisterial or experiential theology- patriarchy or the people of God.’

‘Exactly! Either the Holy Spirit is alive and very much at work in our lives and in our Church-‘

‘ – doing a new thing.’

‘ - or the value and meaning of our lives have to be governed by a bunch of pre-Reformation clerics who believed the world was flat.’

‘You know something; you just might be right about that “curia syndrome.” The moment you mentioned ‘magisterial’ the image of the current pope came to mind.’

‘The hot button issues for me were the conservatives resorting to natural law as a standard of any value in a discussion of faith, that and the repeated use of the word ‘normative.’

‘Comparing us to penguins I call it.’

‘Ironic that they published during Lent too.... As if what happened Good Friday and at Easter didn’t once and for all overthrow natural law as a standard for anything in Christian Life... And normative! The term just doesn’t apply if you truly believe in the Incarnation and the crucifixion of the very Son of God-‘

‘and his resurrection!’

‘Exactly... and even penguin colonies include monogamous gay relationships.’

‘They’re really scrambling, aren’t they?’

‘Scared witless, as a certain friend used to say.’

‘Scripture does tell us it’s a terrible and frightening thing to fall into the hands of the living God.’

‘So... what you’re really saying-‘

‘- is more of the same old-same old. Magisterial patriarchy or experiential faith, that's what's going on here. Recognizing and embracing the implicit sacramental nature of the lives we’ve been given, or trying to filter twenty-first century life through cloistered, patriarchal minds of the magisterium. Listening and engaging with the people of God as partners in the Body of Christ or secret committees handing down pronouncements.’

‘There’s Rowan’s old listening exercise again-‘

‘- and just how much has anyone seen of that?’

‘You know, sometimes you really don’t help... I mean, what am I supposed to do with this?’ An audible thump on the other end of the line as she obviously slams down her hardcopy on her table or desk. ‘I mean, I can’t just ignore it. We’re supposed to be discussing the danged thing, and even then, what is any of that ever going to change?’

‘A couple of hearts perhaps, and that would be a start.’

‘So....’

‘How about asking the congregation what they want to do with it, how they want to handle the report?’

‘At least this time we won’t end up with two of the congregation coming out to everyone.’

‘Not those two at least.’

‘You know... that was really a transformative moment- for most of us at least. I mean one of the men was going through a divorce none of us understood. It reminded me of Gene’s story, when his wife stood there beside him, holding his hand as he shared with us.’

‘Talk about a new thing.’

‘I still tear up talking about it.’

‘I can hear your sniffles.’

The conversation didn’t end there. Among other things my friend shared with me the sheer blessedness of her early morning walk with her two dogs at the beach; her and her husband watching the sunrise and sharing a thermos of coffee. We prayed together, celebrated the blessedness of our connection, and our love for our Church, but even now, days later what keeps coming to mind is my friend’s question- ‘what are they so afraid of- the conservatives?’

Oh, and that’s another thing, the two of us have recast our vocabulary for this current discussion in our Church. It’s not even real conservatism- they’re traditionalists. And ‘liberal’ is a complete misrepresentation of our experience and understanding. For a couple of minutes we toyed with ‘experiential Christians;’ my friend, reminding me she was born below the Mason-Dixon Line even floated ‘real-time Anglicans.’ Nothing quite captured the sheer wonder of trying to mindfully step each day into the inescapable sacrament of our lives.

But it will come, as long as we’re open to it. It always does.

UPDATE:
Before originally posting this, as I always do, I’d passed it by my friend who assured me I’d captured the essence of our sharing.

Since then, we’ve spoken twice:

When she called to share her experience of presenting the report without editorial comment to her congregation, asking for a sense of what they might like to do with the opportunity.

‘What was really incredible was at both services the clear sense was people want to engage with it- to study it and then get together to discuss it. A couple of people really pressed for my take on it, but I told them, I wasn’t going to be saying anything until I’d heard from each and every one of them. So we’re distributing it electronically tomorrow- Monday; and hardcopies will be available at the office.’

The second call was just last evening, when among other things she reminded me of just how little real analysis or editorial comment there’s been online about the report.

‘Maybe you were right- it’s really got little or nothing to do with the real transformational process going on.’

‘It’s the old magisterial way of doing things, and just maybe the people of God have essentially gone beyond that- a long time ago.’

‘By their fruits,’ my friend reminded me, resorting to the shorthand of good friends.

And yes, before we closed off we prayed together- for her particular pastoral concern, for many we both love, and for the Church- hard to live with her, but... well you get my drift.

2010-04-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

There’s been a quote dancing on my spirit for the last many days, and it's not been an easy or comfortable experience. It's from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's 'Letters & Papers from Prison'.

The resonances to this particular quote are several:

The Easter experience of a young friend of mine fighting her second bout of cancer and she’s barely in her twenties. When she showed up with her head swaddled in a turban at Easter Mass, a well-meaning, very pious individual insisted on assuring her that ‘it’s all in God’s hands, but it’s a mystery,’ all my friend had to do was pray. And that’s when my friend lost it- out there in the Church parking lot.

Another would be my deep concern for another very dear friend who has pretty much isolated herself and is living through some pretty rough duhkkha- the hollowness of life right now. This individual too was a child of the Church- a long time ago, and has done rather well for herself- materially. Only her conspicuous consumption is getting pretty close to the limits of its anaesthetic effectiveness, and her ‘management skills’ are keeping us all at what I’ve been calling a dangerous distance in my practice.

And then there’s the on-going scandals and revelations about sexual abuse- both pedophilia and misogyny in the Church of Rome http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/us/12abuse.html?pagewanted=1&hp

The quote is from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's 'Letters and Papers from Prison' and for me speaks to all of the above suffering.

My haunting/wrestling/ prayer has been referencing this quote in two separate parts:

Jesus asked in Gethsemane, 'Could you not watch with me one hour?' That is a reversal of what the religious person expects from God. Humans are summoned to share in God's sufferings at the hands of a godless world. We must therefore really live in the godless world, without attempting to gloss over or explain its ungodliness in some religious way or other. We must live a 'secular' life, and thereby share in God's sufferings.

I admit, reading what might almost be mistaken as yet another rant about ‘a godless world’ and more particularly ‘God’s suffering at the hands of a godless world’ was almost enough to have me clicking ‘Delete’. But this was Bonhoeffer, an old friend whose personal integrity & suffering humanity go unchallenged in my house, whose ‘suffering at the hands of a godless world’ is part of the historical record. .

The cutting edge for me- once again, too often of late- was to find another ‘official voice’ of organized religion objectifying and vilifying God’s creation for their own ends. Yes, Bonhoeffer does go on to tell us:

‘We must therefore really live in the godless world, without attempting to gloss over or explain its ungodliness in some religious way or other.’

But once again, there’s that distant objectification of God’s creation, and if that weren’t enough, he goes on to tell us we must live’ a 'secular' life, and thereby share in God's sufferings.’

Now before anyone rushes unnecessarily to brother Dietrich’s defense, let me assure you I am only too aware of the conditions under which the sainted man was writing- from a nazi prison, there for his heroic resistance to a godless regime if there ever was one. Rather, what I was so deeply shaken by was the implicit duality in the first part of his quote- both in its analysis and its proposed solution and the ramifications of this duality.

My reaction, of course is a reflection of the time in which I live, and so the weeks during which I have returned again and again to this quote have been as much as anything an expression great respect with which I cherish Bonhoeffer’s integrity. That said, however:

A godless world?

A concept I would suggest which is both an insult to the Creator and his/her Creation; possible only if one has reduced God to an idol; revelation to a time-limited offer, and Life itself in all its dazzling diversity to a static reality contained by the limits of first century c.e. understanding.

A godless world?

A dualistic lie implicitly denying not only of the living, active presence of the Holy Spirit herself among us, but of God’s love for her/his Creation- a love embodied most tangibly in the life, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Godless?

And just how much of this ‘godlessness’ is a self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuated by the vested interests of official religon ? A inevitable outcome of the objectification, not only of God’s creation itself, but more specifically of the transactional codification of the life of faith, the objectification & denigration of our sisters and their bodies, the manipulation of Scripture, the objectification and wanton exploitation of our universe, and most recently of the vilification of God’s gay and lesbian sons and daughters- all at the hands of those who claim to speak ‘officially’ for the Living God?

I would be far from the first to suggest that ‘organized religions’ just might bear an inordinate share of responsibilities for the suffering, the sorrow and the grief of God; a possibility which informs my understanding of much of what is going on currently in the Vatican, the halls of Lambeth and certain councils of Islam.

To quote another dear friend ‘the vested interests see it as a breaking apart, the ordinary person of faith sees it as a welcome, long overdue breaking-open.’

Which brings one to Bonhoeffer’s solution: a ‘secular’ life.

More dualism.

More us/them- a paradigm I believe God and creation itself has grown impatient with, a prissy conceit, objectification and inequal sharing of resources which life itself can no longer sustain.

At the risk of stating the obvious I’d suggest there’s but One life, One Creation, One God and one race- the human one, anything less is an obscene lie.

As one of the many hundreds of thousands of alienated Christians in this province very pointedly asked me recently- ‘Where’s the Church following its own example in this disgusting mess: confessing, repenting, doing penance- maybe even making reparation? South Africa had its ‘Truth and Reconciliation Commission founded by the very victims of its ‘godless’ past, you telling me they knew better than God’s ‘official mouthpiece’ ? Sounds to me like the Vatican needs your Desmond Tutu to teach them a thing or two.’ If only!

But thankfully, brother Dietrich doesn’t end there.

To be a Christian does not mean to be religious in a particular way, to make something of oneself (a sinner, a penitent, or a saint) on the basis of some method or other, but to be human--not a type of human, but the human that Christ creates in us. It is not the religious act that makes the Christian, but participation in the sufferings of God in the secular life.

Which I guess was what I was trying to explain to another ‘alienated Christian’ over Easter- that the real and only question is what we’re doing with ‘the one inescapable sacrament.’

Startled, she started listing off the seven sacraments of the Church. ‘And which one of the seven is inescapable? Baptism perhaps?’ she chuckled.

‘The gift of life, ‘ I suggested, only after a pause for dramatic effect, ‘all the others are detailing.’

This has perhaps been one of the most challenging, most interesting and most engaging Lents of many for me personally, which in some small part might be reflected by what I’ve just written. The errors and any inaccuracies in this post are mine, but the offering, at least in part is made in love and very real gratitude for the ongoing love and prayers – for the priesthood of two much beloved siblings in Christ- P.S. and M.W., whose personal integrity and passionate, prophetic faith are a constant source of blessing for me personally, and a wondrous, if underappreciated gift to our Church

Teasing apart the knot

2010-03-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

Quite the Lent again this year; for a lot more reasons than I can go into here this morning.

Strange thing is that even in the years when my life & faith were most frequently and immediately realized through the non-dualism of my mindfulness practice and dharma study, Lent, and most particularly Good Friday have been times of particular observance.

This Lent, like many others has been rich with unexpected detours in the reading and practice and more than a few unexpected conversations. A case in point, a story I came across when I’d gone looking for a particular quote for something else I’m writing, only to come across a collection of sermons by a Canadian, United Church minister and a story he quotes from Annie Dillard’s Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.

Once upon a time, an Inuit hunter went to see the local missionary who had been preaching in his village.
‘I want to ask you something,’ the hunter said.
‘What’s that?’ the missionary inquired.4’If I do not know about God and sin,’ the hunter said,’ would I go to hell?’
‘No,’ the missionary said, ‘not if you did not know.’
‘Then why,’ asked the hunter, ‘did you tell me?

’

(quoted in: ’Summoning the Whirlwind’ by Bruce Sanguin)

Though I may not remember its effect the first time I read this, today it literally stopped me in my tracks- had me reaching for my mug of tea and settling into the rocking chair.

I didn’t have to look far for the reasons this story resonates so powerfully for me this time around.

Yet more stories of generations of child abuse, denial, lies and cover-up in the Roman Catholic Church in the media on a daily basis this Lent. And then of course there had been the powerful online witness of both our Grandmère Mimi and a powerful post by Elizabeth Kaeton on the topic. Living here in Québec, and more specifically Montréal, a city which once boasted more churches per capita than any other city in North America, the Roman Catholic Church has been a truly oppressive presence historically.

Personally I have to go no further than the memories of my two decades on front-line AIDS care and counselling for a sadly too-rich store of lives marked by self-loathing, fear, emotional & corporal alienation and abuse inculcated by the teachings of Church of Rome for this story to become very personal for me.

Not that our own denomination is exempt- one has only to look at the toxic bilge which has been spewed in the wake of the prayerful election of Mary Glasspool, an exceptional priest by all accounts who as we all know was recently, prayerfully elected as one of two new suffragan bishops in one of the most prophetically courageous diocese of the American church. Between the misogynist simperings of suffragan Paul Lambert (Dallas) and the ugliness of too many exchanges I am told on the HoB listserve of that same Church it is only too obvious how much we have yet to learn about our vocation to be the living Body of Christ and the embodiment of the Good News in the world.

But then there’s also one of my online connections which has been the source of some incredible conversations during this penitential season. An individual I wrote about more than a year ago who came from what he now recognizes as a seriously dysfunctional family where his mother’s primary means for her denial of her husband’s drinking was a toxic, sex-obsessed form of religious hysteria. That same hysteria was used to neutralize what the poor woman feared was her eldest son’s homosexuality and to keep him at home until her death from cancer in his very late thirties.

No this individual is not a victim of sexual interference- one of the few things he was spared- but in his mid-forties he’s still working hard to make a life for himself and discover just who he is, in a city far from his upbringing and the remaining members of his family. Some of the stories he has to tell about getting to where he is now are heart-breakingly funny: like who would have ever thought deciding the colour of your bathroom towels or which toaster you were going to buy could be near-paralyzing decisions, requiring literally weeks of comparison shopping?

Yes, my friend is receiving professional help, but from a therapist who is not really able to fully engage with either his wrestling with effects of his Roman Catholic upbringing or with his current spiritual search, which is where I and a number of other on-line friends come in. Incredibly in my case, contact was made through the therapist’s gay son who had been in contact with me via an online shanga. Another of this man’s online friends is ‘E’ who is part of my own online community of faith, and about whose friendship I have written elsewhere. Both of us received copies of Bart Ehrmans ‘Jesus Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (and Why We Don’t Know About Them) in the mail from ‘E’ early in Lent. I’ve written of my experience with this important book elsewhere, and will undoubtedly do so again. The specific conversation this man and I had, sparked by Erhman, on the franchisization of ‘sin’ is what perhaps resonated most powerfully with me this morning reading this Annie Dillard story.

Not that either of us are denying the existence of sin- either in our individual lives or in human history. Rather it is the ‘doctrine of sin,’ more specifically the Christian doctrine(s) of sin which has caught our attention. ‘Sin’ as a self-fulfilling prophesy most specifically, perhaps even ‘sin’ as a method of crowd control.

In a much earlier post, reaching for the beginnings of a transformative model for us to become the Church I believe God is calling us to be, I suggested that for the Church to even open itself up to the process to which the Holy Spirit is calling us certain things would be necessary.

1) That the Church has to own its history and recognize and embrace the call of the Holy Spirit embedded in those lies, and excesses. Not just its self-published, lavishly illustrated versions of the past, but more importantly the secular version, most readily available in the lives of those who have left or fled the Church

2) That the Church has to come clean on the findings of contemporary historical/critical Scriptural study and thereby open itself to the raw vulnerability of the ambiguity of faith- of dancing with the Holy Spirit in the raw sacrament of our lives. In a similar manner the Church has to stop hiding behind a reactive shamanism which essentially ignores the contradictions and limitation of first and second century ‘doctrines’ constructed on perceptions and prejudices which are no longer credible (slavery, misogyny, being two which most readily come to mind.)

3) That the ‘professionals’ of the Church must essentially become midwives of the living Body of Christ rather than guardians of a propertied fortress of medieval secrets with more holes in them than a Montreal street in spring. Key to this will be the sharing of ministry, the active pursuit shared with the laity of the latest Scriptural study and the critical re-examination of the assumptions of so much of Christian faith and practice.

No, I’m not talking about questioning the divinity of Jesus Christ- in this space and in this particular life Jesus Christ is and will always be Lord. I’m talking about unchallenged doctrines hobbled together in radically different historical realities than ours.

As a theologian friend reminded me very recently, for any of this to happen, ‘it’s going to have to come from the priesthood of the laity- it always does’. Ironically it may because they’re always the one’s most available to the invitation and prompting of the Holy Spirit in the elemental sacrament of their lives.” (more on this later.)

As someone reportedly challenged not too long ago; just how long would any of us hang around if our doctor came into the examining room with a handful of leeches, chanting semi-articulate incantations? And yet in so many aspects of ‘official’ Christian faith actually takes pride in mimicking the rites and worldview of the distant past rather than being brought into the complexity, confusion and rawness of our day.

As I said, the Christian doctrine of original sin is the case in point which started a conversation now involving more than the original two parties, and which several of us now sense might be yet another example of the deconstruction and renewal I believe to be implicit in our vocation to be the living Body of Christ in these times.

Essentially a second century C.E. reaction to a popular doctrine Gnosticism, the central role ‘original sin’ has played in the power of the religious establishment, and the length of time it has gone unquestioned raises a whole rank of questions, perhaps for another time.

A reaction! So much for original, inspired insight!

And just how many other second century ideas or artefacts go unchallenged and play key or defining roles in our sense of self, in our careers or emotional and physical health in everyday life?

Not too many I’d bet.

Scripture tells us by their fruits you shall know them, well let’s look at the fruits of the current models of the Christian institution:

Empty pews, churches and convents being sold off for condo conversion or demolition might suggest that current modeling for the delivery of the Good News and embodying the Living Body of Christ aren’t quite doing it.

The great cloud of ‘raised ’ witness outside our Churches, the prophetic witness and lessons of their lives might suggest that even with all the papal tours, the big blue tents and carbon-heavy councils might suggest that ‘the Church’ has somehow missed the Holy Spirit waiting for us in the primary sacrament of our lives, as confusing, imperfect and small as they might be at times.

The too readily identifiable violence, acrimony, psycho-emotional damage, and injustice which can be directly linked to the practices, pronouncements and structures of ‘official Christianity’ should be a more than convincing proof of the Church’s need for radical renewal and a reconfiguration of our role in the world. Let those with eyes see- inspite of themselves the Holy Spirit is breaking the current models of being Church wide open and sadly those who do nothing more than defensively cling to their self-interests in the existing structures will fare little better than those who might have clung to the pillars of the Hotel Montana in the recent Haitian earthquake.

Of course central to the old model is the need for the official Church to always be ‘right’ and everyone else to be wrong- power which is always essentially the embodiment of fear. And in the process how many untold generations of human suffering have propped up an institution which in too many cases- both large and small, has essentially been anti-life, a frightened damning condemnation of the wondrous, sacred gift of Life itself and of God’s creation. The damning objectification of ‘the world’ just doesn’t work anymore, a first century paradigm reflective of life under Roman domination, it has itself only become the medium for too many other empires, too often in the name of God.

By their fruits you shall know them? How about the objectification, exploitation &, degradation of more than one half of creation, the denial of full their personhood as beings created ‘in the image and likeness of the true and living God?’ Where the Churches have too often become the embodiment of idolatry, prejudice and violence based on first and second century fears, ignorance and domination where is the Holy Spirit going to speak most clearly and most powerfully but outside its marbled, gilded walls and big blue tents; in the inequality, struggles, suffering and violence of contemporary life.

It is my sense, that if the Church is not going to miss out on this invitation writ large by the Holy Spirit the paradigm shift can be as simple as a slight shift of a camera lens- bringing into focus what’s really going on, seeing, listening and hearing the world and its cries as the embodiment of our vocation and not as an objectified ‘other’ to be walled out, condemned, exploited and objectified in a lingo few even understand any longer.

Two other stories to illustrate the wonderful, challenging, at times painful resonances this current discussion has had for me personally.

Early on, the friend I mentioned earlier asked in our forum ‘but what if Erhman’s book is heretical? And if it is, how come his work goes unchallenged?’
Responses ranged from the suggestion that heresy has essentially become a meaningless term, and might even be considered a compliment which one considers the context in which it was coined; to a question in return ‘Do you really think God is afraid of the limitations of Scripture?’

The other are the treasured memories of some of the wonderful fellowship I recently shared with an academic priest currently on sabbatical- his ‘pilgrim year’ as he calls it. A personal pilgrimage which is taking him, not to the seats of ecclesiastical power (Canterbury & Rome) or to the sites of the artificats of the early centuries of Church history, but ‘out there’ in the raw mix of our vocation to be the living Body of Christ. In the short time he stayed with me we rarely slept; prayed, studied and shared late into the night and he left the members of our household mightily blessed, powerfully nourished and delightfully challenged.

In addition to his teaching responsibilities, this treasured friend and brother has campus chaplaincy responsibilities, and prior to his departure for his sabbatical year made a truly courageous proposition to the congregation which numbers more than a hundred twenty, currently with four weekly Eucharists.

The invitation?

Essentially to imagine themselves into being the Church the Holy Spirit is calling them to be; one which will limit itself less to the official rites, but one which will also search out opportunities for shared study, discussion and challenge and which will find more opportunities to encounter each other as people of faith and individuals created in the image and likeness of God.

On the last night he was here, my friend surprised himself with the realization that most of the time together, more than anything else we had been prayerfully sitting with ‘the questions’ rather than referencing ‘official answers’ and perhaps it was the openness of those questions which had permitted the Holy Spirit to make it such a blessed time.

How could we possibly wish for anything less for our beloved Church with its exciting inheritance of Scripture, Tradition and Reason?

2010-02-23T12:42:00.000-08:00

From one of the two books I've included in my Lenten practice this year is 'Taking a Chance on God' by John J. McNeill; a passage which immeadiately brought to mind two treasured siblings in Christ- M.W. & P.S., both of them living blessings and extra-oridinary Episcopal priests:

For Jesus, all human suffering was contrary to God’s plan. God and suffering are diametrically opposed, and God always seeks to remove it. The only redemptive suffering is that which is voluntarily undertake or accepted in the effort to liberate others. Any suffering that we impose on each other is anathema. Evidently, Jesus was little interested whether the suffering was the consequence of sin or was innocent. Neither piety nor its lack set any limits to his concern. In his ministry, Jesus saw the suffering of others as his task, his mission in life was to do all he could to bring relief.

This understanding gives us a norm, a litmus test, to judge whether aspects of Christian practice are in conformity with the spirit of Christ. Whatever aspects of Christian practice contradict the demands of of a personal and collective human liberation must be rejected in the name of Christian faith itself. As followers of Jesus, we are obliged by our faith to be active in shaping justice and peace in our society.

Our Tribe and some notable allies- voices from the past

2010-02-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

Slowly....make that very slowly working my way through all that is involved with transitioning from one main computer to another, I came across a collection of quotes I'd transcribed from The Advocate 25th Anniversary edition back in 1992.

Some incredible folks- many of them gone too soon and too long. Some of them amusing quite, others so voiced with the truth of our journey, at least one of them poignantly tragic for the implicit internalized homophobia; I'll probably save the original file, but these are just too good not to be shared.

"We ask that the government stop its blatant support of sheer, naked prejudice."
James Bradford, a gay rights activist at a San Francisco protest rally, 1968

"They used to say if men had sex together `What will happen to the baby population?' Well, take a look There's plenty of come to go around, thank you very much."
Gore Vidal, 1970

"I've seen too many men who are unfulfilled human beings because they have a distorted sense of what it means to be a man. True fulfillment as a human being comes when each of us is able to recognize the masculine and feminine within ourselves... That's one of the enormous contributions the strong gay movement can make."
Jane Fonda, 1976

"I think macho is the core of the American problem, which is why the gay movement is so important. America must accept that macho is not healthy."
60's radical Jerry Rubin, 1976

"I met a man in a bar in Detroit, Mich. He was in his 70's and he didn't know who I was. And then somebody came up to him and said, "Hey do you know who you were talking to? Matlovich." And this very old man just started crying right in front of me. And it really humbled me to see this old man, possibly old enough to be my grandfather, cry just because he had met me."
Sgt. Leonard P Matlovitch, discharged from the Air Force after disclosing his homosexuality, 1978

"The gay movement is the avant garde of the new quest for self-awareness, and if it should perish, we, the heterosexual `inner émigrés' won't have flanks anymore.
Jersy Kosinski 1978

"It's appalling that there have to be movements organized to give human beings the right to be human beings in the eyes of other human beings."
Glenda Jackson 1979

"You can't start talking to people about Leonardo da Vinci. Most of today's people don't know who he is."
Lena Horne on the challenge of educating the public about gays, 1979

"I pounded on my car and screamed, They misspelled it! They misspelled it! For some reason that offended me more than anything else."
Openly lesbian Massachusetts representative Elaine Noble after finding LESBEAN scrawled on her vehicle, 1984

I think we should be tying up whole cities. We should cripple this country. We should throw bombs. We should set fires. We should stop traffic. We should surround the white house."
Activist and playwright Larry Kramer, responding to the AIDS crisis, 1987

"My entire life has been one long effeminate gesture. Without it, I must admit I would have survived my adolescence in comparative safety, but it is also true that without it I would have lived my declining years in total obscurity."
Quentin Crisp, 1989

"A lot of people in England still find it difficult to believe lesbians do anything. Except perhaps knit together."
Dame Maggie Smith, 1990

"I don't take a stand on anything."
Rock Hudson, when asked what he thought about Anita Bryant, 1977

"There hasn't been a studio head I've worked for who hasn't come out and asked me if I'm a lesbian. I say "Normally this would be none of your business. However I will answer you... It's possible. I'm not practicing at the moment, but I will not say it will never happen or hasn't happened in my past."
Whoopi Goldberg

"By all reasonable accounts, we're going to lose a third of the entire Third World [to AIDS], and that's unacceptable. How could this not be the most important thing in the world right now?"
Folksinger Arlo Guthrie, 1992

"Until being a lesbian is as honorable an alternative as any other, any of us can be stopped by [ lesbian baiting]. It hurts hertro women as well. As long as you can be stopped by this accusation, it's paralyzing."
Gloria Steinman, 1992

OH HAPPY DAY! OH HAPPY DAY

2010-01-07T05:13:00.000-08:00

Very real tears of joy, wonder & thanksgiving here at the sight of this image!
And I make no apology to anyone for my celebration.

You'd have to have walked at least a couple of miles in the dessert of abandonment, fear, pain and loss my gay and lesbian Anglicans have known for too long, to know what a radiant miracle this indeed is.

To my eyes this is but another cause to give heartfelt thanks for the living blessing and great gift to our Church the Holy Spirit has given us in the life and service of her beloved son the Bishop of New Hampshire. If only certain quarters could recognize this and learn to say 'thank-you.'

And speaking of Living Blessings I'd also draw your attention to yet another magnificent post by a very much beloved sister http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2010/01/twelfth-night.html and the insightful, prophetic wisdom of the poet priest Mark Harris http://anglicanfuture.blogspot.com/2010/01/prophetic-spirit-and-year-of-tyger.html

This morning our tiny house resonates with praise and thanksgiving.
I'd ask your prayers for Betsy, Ellie, blessed Gene, and for the continuing blessings of Elizabeth and Mark's priesthood to the Church.

Aaargh!

2010-01-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

Call me slow at times perhaps,
‘preoccupied’ might be a more apt description considering how the last many years have been spent in getting beyond the decade of my life which one professional referred to as ‘psychic rape in the name of God’ and avoiding the subsequent self-victimization one could have collapsed into.
It’s also been the very real adventure in grace of growing into the gift of being born a gay man and person of faith and claiming the blessings of both.
Striving to be authentically present and of service in the darkest years of the AIDS hollocaust here in Montreal; and to be authentically alive and present in the decades since, with all they have brought.

But this week-end has seen another one of those ‘aah-ha’ moments
long overdue perhaps (what took you so long,, I can almost hear one particular and very dear sister asking me already).
Maybe not quite on the scale of July 27, 2006, but one of those tight almost inevitable places when you’re dancing with the Holy Spirit; where almost everything cannot help but be changed- wether it’s broken open or now resonantly perceived in a larger context and understanding.
And as so often in my life there’s a person involved.

In this instance it’s ‘G’ who has been part of my life for more than twenty years, and is one of the very few still among the living who knew my beloved.
‘G’ first turned up as a too-well-intentioned Westmount lady wanting to volunteer for those ‘poor souls suffering with AIDS.’
An Anglophone, barely capable of managing the simplest of conversations in French, she was given to me for sensitization and training. Inspite of the great disparity of our economic backgrounds; our common Anglian background, and our personal struggles with the almost complete absence of both the official Church and practising Christians from the front lines of AIDS service made for a real closeness and prayerful practice.
Since then ‘G’ has gone a long way, and she gives me more credit than I am due when she calls me her chief cheerleader. The lady, and her adult daughter are both living wonders!

And it was ‘G’ who lobbed this particular experience my way.
Knowing that one of the sharpest bites of my current economic situation has been the loss of the freedom to buy books, and being partner of what I personally find an exceptionally rich on-going conversation on faith beyond patriarchy, ‘G’ thought of me when she came across a particular, recently released book. ‘A Lily Among the Thorns: Imagining a New Christian Sexuality’ by Miguel A. De La Torre, professor of social ethics (Illif School of Theology), a director of the Society of Christian Ethics. A single copy ordered several months ago, ‘G’ apparently thought of it as a possible Christmas gift for me. Only one day last fall, out of what she admits was idle curiosity, she dipped into the book herself- and ended up literally throwing it across the room at one point- where it apparently laid for several months.

In the meantime she ordered a second, undamaged copy for me. Which she tried presenting me with when we got together over the holidays.(a story for another time and place). Sufficed to say I ended up with ‘the more interesting copy’ and insisted on ‘G’ inscribing it to make my winning our tussle official.

Since then, ‘G’ has returned to Dr. de La Torre’s offering- leaving me two voice oblique messages, asking if I’ve ‘started’ the book or ‘reached that chapter yet?’

Well, beloved ‘G’ I did, and I have, and ‘that chapter’ has been one of the most agonizing reads in a longtime, and if you knew the contents of my bookshelves, you’d know that is saying a lot.

For me at least, as a person of faith, Dr. De La Torre is an individual at least ‘to be dealt with.’ Having said that, as my read of his offering is still unfinished, it is important for me to make clear this in no way implies a recommendation of the book.

Dr. De la Torre’s struggle is with the misogyny, racism and homophobia in the Bible, and he presents an what could be an interesting alternative to the standard either/or alternatives on Biblical interpretation and inerrancy- most particularly when tacking ‘those verses.’ This post however is not about his methodology. It’s about my experience of that chapter.

‘Liberating the Female Body’ - an innocuous enough title perhaps, though as a gay feminist, I confess to a certain guardedness to anything spoken or written by a straight theologian- no matter how well-intentioned, about my sisters, their lives or bodies or about my LGBT tribe, our lives or our bodies-

Give Dr. De La Torre credit though. I have yet to discover how workable his methodology for liberated Scriptural interpretation might be, however he sure had got my attention, and he sure does know his Scripture. That chapter ends up being an articulate, concise catalogue of the culturally defined objectification, exploitation and abuse of women in both the Hebrew and the New Testaments. In addition, Dr. De La Torre cites some of the consequences of those same verses in subsequent Church culture through the writings of Church patriarchs and those who have followed in their steps. And the whole experience left me positively reeling.

Yes, I might have already known many of the individual objectionable verses, recognized or vaguely remembered others, but it was seeing them all there in one chapter; not even simply listed but contextualized; this wasn’t casual curiosity about something which might prove interesting. This was my faith tradition standing convicted of something I detest, and each new instance registered physically, almost like an actual blow. Several times, I had to stop before continuing, resorting to my meditation training to get beyond my visceral reaction. By the time I had finished I was both raw and angry- very angry, and just sitting there with that inarticulate rawness seemed the most prayerful practice I was capable of late that evening.

Sitting there, a number of questions came to mind
How has this been allowed to go on so long? (cue that question from a certain beloved sister again)How can any intelligent human being, cognizant of these verses and of the insights of contemporary critical Scriptural study continue to claim inerrancy?
Where is the Church- our Church’s self-critical examination, discussion and repentance of the effects of this pernicious misogyny in our structures, theology and practices?
Where have our ordained and consecrated sisters-in-faith learned such heroic patience with their colleagues still trapped in privileged patriarchy? And has their patience indeed been heroic?

How serious is this?
I wouldn’t presume to try to mirror Dr. De La Torre’s scholarship by quoting Scripture, a few quotes from heirs of Scriptural misogyny suffice to show where it leads when unchallenged:

Woman was merely man’s helpmate, a function which pertains to her alone. She is not the image of God but as far as man is concerned, he is by himself the image of God.

Augustine

Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman

Clement of Alexandria ( c 150 -215)

God created man with a broad chest, not broad hips, so that in that part of him he can be wise; but that part out of which filth comes is small. In a woman, this is reversed. That is why she has much filth and little wisdom.

Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

Does one need to get more specific than Martin Luther to recognize the foulness of Christian misogyny?

Well if Luther weren’t bad enough I would include but one example of Dr. De La Torre’s analysis which could very well be the point at which my friend sent the volume sailing through the air.

Women were considered the weaker sex, in part, because they were perceived to be the negation of men. Throughout the Hebrew Bible, the Law understood the legal concept of person to be male-centered; women (and children) were perceived to be incomplete males. Maleness was considered normative, the ideal. Anything that fell short of the norm fell short of God’s ideal. Thomas Aquinas wrote that ‘woman is [a] defective and misbegotten’ male- probably due to ‘some influence, such as that of a south wind, which is moist.’

This ideology was manifested in how the physical differences between women and men were comprehended. Women’s genitalia were viewed as the anatomical antithesis of men’s. From as early as the second century until the eighteenth century, the woman’s cervix and vagina were imagined as an inverted penis. Even the internal position of the ovaries was construed to be the counterbalance to the external location of the testicles. In this one-sex model, women had reached only a lower evolutionary stage of development; this categorized them as something less than fully human- a ‘defective and misbegotten’ man. Their stunted and inverse ‘penis’ only served to prove their deficiency as humans, their lack of complete maleness.

Sitting there late into the night it was my very clear sense that if our Church had indeed owned, self-critically examined and discussed and truly repented of its misogynist heritage when our sisters first stepped forward to claim their vocations to the priesthood, the current shameful circus and scandal over the full inclusion of LGBT baptized couldn’t have become the disaster it has allowed to develop into.

Even later I found myself wondering if part of the muddledness which exists in current discussions might have been avoided if we had not allowed the patriarchal interests to essentially define the issue and our role in it. Perhaps most particularly, I’m referring to being called ‘liberal’ which my have been but the initial wedge which has allowed them to accelerate into all sorts of name-calling ugliness while wearing the garments of their priesthood.

Liberal I and many I love and honour may be, but that label has nothing to do with our faith or our sense of what the Holy Spirit is striving to accomplish in and through the exemplary medium of Anglican practice in these times. An incredible diversity of individuals whose lives and experience have only informed their love and passion for the Christ the liberator who calls us to have life more abundantly. A people who reject the ‘necessary lies’ of violence, fear and the reign of guilt. Individuals whose lives are defined and liberated by our baptismal covenant, and who are equally unafraid of science, ambiguity and the finding of critical Scriptural scholarship. A people sure in the faith transmitted by the saints who recognize the elemental sacrament of the lives we’ve been given and of the interesting challenges of living in these times, who reject the fearful construct of medieval dualistic thinking.

My sense is that the term may not yet have been coined to describe the larger, post-patriarchal vision we share, and equally that we have yet to claim the skills to redefine the what is really at stake in the current turmoil our Church is undergoing. But with God’s grace and the long-suffering patience of the Holy Spirit this is still possible. Too often personal prejudice or opinion have been allowed to stand unchallenged as good theology, too often selective manipulation of Scripture and elective amnesia of contemporary critical academic study have been allowed to stand.

As I shared with ‘G’ on the phone last night, one thing the current debate has taught us is that the justice of LGBT inclusion is not even going to register with the patriarchy’s purity police when they have been so comfortable with overlooking and abetting so many centuries of institutionalized misogyny within the Church. As with my sisters in faith and their vocations, the redemption and vocations of my LGBT brothers and sisters rests alone on the great blessing and redemptive seal of our baptism and the covenant made at that time.

Bottom line, for me the essential question always is and remains which vision and understanding of what is currently at stake renders great glory to our wondrous God?

To echo a comment I made recently to a beloved sister, which gave her some pause; it is long overdue that we began behaving like the redeemed people we are. And it is my deep sense that it is only in that redeemed confidence the more intelligent and better educated than I will find their prophetic voices.

Christians at Liberty

2009-12-14T13:30:00.000-08:00

Almost two weeks ago, a friend who first came into my life almost three decades ago as a buddy-trainee in the early years of the local AIDS holocaust called me. She’s now a very successful psychologist, a cradle Anglican in exile from the Church but someone who takes her Christian practice very seriously and holds the local Church accountable, if now from a distance. Sadly she will also be leaving Montreal this Spring, to be with her daughter. She’d been trying to remember the source of something she remembered reading in the last couple of months. In the process of elimination I ended up suggesting the national and diocesan media of our Church, and offered to check the most recent issues of the diocesan paper if she, more technically accomplished did the same for the Anglican Journal.

In the end we never found what she was looking for, but in the process, I stumbled across a phrase which has repeatedly come to mind in the days since. Buried in the obituary of a man I never knew, who had served for many decades as a priest in our Church. Of a decided evangelical orientation, his wife mentioned he felt a particular calling to ‘Christians at liberty;’ individuals who, for one reason or another have left the Churches.

Christians at liberty

Strangely, the first resonances which same to mind were of my father’s stories of life in uniform during WWII. ‘at liberty’ there is after all just the faintest whiff of a British accent to the term, and Dad was a British air force instructor- that’s what brought him to Canada at the height of ‘hostilities.’

Christians at liberty

And I thought of one small paragraph in another recent post by a beloved sister, where she prays for and offers an apology to those ‘who have been smashed by the Church-‘ such a dramatic term necessary to cover the great scope of pain and harm our particular models of organized religion have inflicted over the centuries. I remember sitting in front of the screen, literally stopped in my tracks by the moral courage and faith of this dear priest.

Christians at liberty

Ed+ Hay’s book ‘Letter to Christians in Exile’ came to mind, and the great pains Ed goes to; the fine line he has to walk to minister to those who someone else once called ‘the prophetic exiles’ while maintaining his good standing in the Church of Rome.

Christians at liberty

Everything I read in his obituary led me to believe that Fred+ Dykes to be a very Bible centred priest who had not only served the Church- our Church, long and faithfully, but to be a man who knew his Gospel well.

Christians at liberty

Just what were they ‘at liberty’ from ?
And, perhaps most tellingly what does the term 'Christians at liberty' say about the rest of us, about our Church, the life and functioning of our Communion, if a well educated, faithful, long-serving priest could not only entertain this concept, but base years of generous ministry on this understanding?

Christians at liberty

And yes, this also brought to mind ‘E’ who is becoming increasingly dear to me. Since the events touched on in my earlier post, she’s been ‘swimming in the sea of critical Scriptural study’ to find ‘what’s left- so the Holy Spirit can make an adult Christian of me.’ She’s actually thinking of enrolling in theological studies when she gets home in a year.

‘What’s going to be really interesting, is this Christmas.... Going home to my Mum, and attending Church with the knowledge that so many of the details and images associated with the Christmas story are pagan in origin... What’s the Holy Spirit doing here?’

While ‘E’ is home in the mid-west she’s actually going to be checking out schools which might be able to accommodate her worklife.

Which I suppose brings me to last evening which aesthetically turned into one of Montreal’s magical snow and light shows as we came out of one of the big downtown churches following the CBC Christmas Carol Sing Along with a massed choir, brass ensemble, and a great organ.

‘I’ve got something I wanted to ask you’ my good and interesting friend ‘J’ told me as we’re shuffling out of the pews and down the aisle.

It took ‘J’ a while to cast her question, as we shuffled down the slow moving aisle into the fluffy snowfall. It had to do with new models ‘for being Church,’ and the three mediums for change she brought up were ‘liturgy, music and teaching,’ as far as I can remember.

I say as far as I can remember, because instinctively I interrupted with the suggestion that as long as we were building a model within the existing monolith of Church culture any change would be little more than surface and short-lived, and the dream of ‘transformation and renewal’ would remain a far off thing.

A little background: ‘J’ knows not only of the work I did in organizational transformation in a university culture, but of some of my work within AIDS. She knows how the work of people like Wheatly, Senge et al excite me- nowhere more so than for the exciting potential for Spirit led transformation and renewal under the three-legged stool of Anglican practice.

Making our way through traffic and snowfall, travelling on le metro, ‘J’ knew exactly what she was doing planting her question- she even offered to take me for dinner, but truth is I think best organizationally with pen in hand and page before me, and neither of us had come equipped.

By the time I’d made it home I had my first working title, and a sketch of several of what I’m calling ‘principles of search’.

Blessedly the creatures were waiting for me at time, and Willy ( the miraculous daschund) and I had a delightful walk in the flurries before the three of us settled down with a good cup of tea and a whole evening for the challenge ‘J’ had so casually placed in my lap.

Many hours later and a new day, there’s a new working title ‘A Church Unafraid’ and pages of notes. Surprisingly the evening also included two long distance conversations which have also fed into the process and pages of notes.

Where exactly this is going I’m not sure.

One thing I do know though, is that any vital manifestation of the living Body of Christ as a Church in the future is going to be a servant Church, and for this deep sense I am grateful to another cherished sister and vibrant priest.

‘Why are you even wasting your mind on the Church,’ one very dear longtime friend challenged late last evening on the phone. ‘You’re unemployed, no revenue coming in, the threat of losing your house-‘ I know both this dear friends heart and the decades we have walked together, but as I tried explaining last night, she’s never sat under the three legged stool- the Anglican vault of heaven I actually called it at one point, waxing lyrical perhaps. ‘And whatever else might be raining down, there’s always space under there- it’s wide open with a particularly Anglican possibility; biggest dance floor in the Universe, that and the Holy Spirit’s the most interesting dance partner on the floor..

So yes, there just might be something else out there I should be applying for. But ‘J’ and I are supposed to be speaking this morning, we might even manage coffee. She won’t be able to read my handwriting, but we’ll talk..... and possibly dream, of just what it would be like.... A Church Unafraid.

Perspective- just a thought

2009-12-10T05:52:00.000-08:00

‘The most significant basis for the meeting of men of different religious traditions,’ wrote Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel ‘is the level of fear and trembling, of humility and contrition, where our individual moments of faith are mere waves in the endless ocean of mankind’s reaching out for God, where all formulations and articulations appear as understatement, where our souls are swept away’ and the human spirit is ‘stripped of pretensions and conceit,’ It is then, Heschel concludes, that ‘we sense the tragic insufficiency of human faith.’ God, Heschel says with staggering simplicity, is greater than religion.

Practicing Catholic
James Carroll Pp 281

Pieces of the Whole

2009-12-03T05:22:00.000-08:00

A telephone call yesterday- from a wonderful person whose faith is embodied most obviously in her work with battered and immigrant women in her city. Our first contact however many years ago, was through an international anti-nuclear initiative. This friend’s sense of compassionate justice is awesome, and paired with an unfailing ability to cut to the essential, it makes her a real force to be reckoned with - believe me! Usually our contact is by e-mail, so when she called yesterday I knew it had to be something serious. Uncharacteristically for her it took a while.

‘.... about your e-mail this morning, I’m finding myself with .... a certain....struggle to make this young man the central focus of my prayers for the next week. With so much suffering, so much injustice, so much inequity in the World.’ She fell silent.

We both were, until I asked a question.

‘When you’re out there in the middle of the night, rescuing one of your women who’s waiting on a street corner with the little she’s managed to grab before fleeing what she thought of as her home, where’s your focus?’

‘On her of course,’ she told me after a moment, surprised.

I waited hoping she’d make the connection herself.

‘And what about all the other battered women in the world at that moment, when you’re scooping her up & bringing her to your shelter?’

It took a while.

‘... At that moment she’s the only one I can do anything about....’

A little background:

Earlier that morning I’d sent out an e-mail to an incredibly diverse group of generous, caring individuals, each with a faith practice which in one way or another amazes me or gives me very real hope. I call them my ‘Giants’ and believe me from what I know of each one of them they are remarkable beings and truly living blessings.

I’d written about one of those living blessings. A remarkable Episcopal priest, who has become incredibly dear to me over the months and years we’ve each been bumping around on the internet. A no-shit lady who, with two feet planted firmly in a faith formed by her great love of God and of the liturgy and office of our Church, she is one of the most.... muscled Christians I know. And yup, you guessed it, our first contacts were because this priest, living in the ‘South,’ in a diocese where women priests are still a very small minority had very publically taken the cause of the full inclusion of LGBT lives within our Church as her own.

This same ‘priest’ (and yes I’m proudly flouting that word at the moment) and her beloved spouse, clergy himself, in the last months took into their home a gentle, sweet young man whose only offense was fleeing the violence of his upbringing and being caught as an illegal in the U.S. of A. In the next seven days, that young man, Juan, has to undergo two judical hearings which could see him seized, and thrown into jail until officials have filled a planeload with ‘illegals to be returned to Mexico.

‘What’s really going on here?’ I asked my friend on the phone.

Long silence.

‘Overwhelming at times isn’t it,’ I eventually offered; only stating the obvious.

‘How about overwhelming most of the time’ she eventually admitted with just the faintest hint of what could have been an ironic chuckle.

‘Are you saying.... I’m... depressed’ she eventually asked, pain and perhaps fear choking her voice.

‘Nope’ I teased her.

‘Nope?’ just the faintest hint of.... anger/frustration.

‘First off, we’re how many miles apart- physically? Secondly I wasn’t there for the last week, the last month of your very busy life.... What I am suggesting is that my e-mail came at a rather inopportune time and because of everything else you might have confused the lense for the picture.’

‘I need... a break... It’s been more than two months since I’ve even had a week-end at the country place.’

‘Sounds to me like you know what you need.’

‘Yeah, but-‘

‘Hey, there’s a professional staff at the shelter-‘

‘Whose hours we’ve had to cut back- yet again’

Silence.

‘You’re right.... I’m just the president, I’ve got to let the whole organization-‘

I cut her off, eager to reassure her she’d done nothing wrong, as long as she’s got in touch with her own need, her own state of being before they became toxic for herself or her clients.

Long silence.

‘And what was that about a lense?’ she eventually asked.

‘When you’re leaving your bed in the middle of the night and racing off to that street corner to pick up that terrified, perhaps injured woman-‘

‘- I had a call just a couple of nights ago.’

‘At that moment she’s her own unique history and situation, but at that moment for you she’s also every victim of injustice or violence in the world- the only one you can do anything about, to use your words.... until your next meeting, fundraiser or protest, ‘I added.

‘And all you were asking was for prayers- for your friend, for that young man- what’s his name again?’

‘Juan’ his name sounding like a prayer.

‘Juan-’

‘And all you were feeling was the overwhelming injustice, violence; blindness and indifference Juan’s situation embodies.’

‘That priest friend of yours must be really something...’

‘She is, and so are you... All I’m asking, is when you can, carry Juan in your heart/mind- if only his name.’

‘But is it enough?’

‘Who knows... that’s where the Holy Spirit comes in... all we can do is open our hearts, as you do every day, offer them up that they might resonate with God’s love, sort of like those solar cookers our Church is distributing in Africa-‘

‘Solar cookers?’

‘Never mind- another story for another day. But about that ‘overwhelmed,’ sounds like you need to get yourself organized for a very long week-end with Clarke and the dogs- in the country.’

‘I don’t know, he’s kind of busy these days too- with work.’

‘Three days- four max,’ I persisted. ‘All you can do is ask.’

‘I’ll ask... oh, and about Juan- I won’t forget.’

‘That’s all I’m asking,’ I reminded her.

Oh, and this morning, shortly after 5:30 a.m. there was another call- from ‘P’. Overwhelmed, in another way, by the love and support he’s felt ever since his friend the Episcopal priest called him at work yesterday, to tell him to check out my latest post.

‘I sat there, tears streaming down my face, not even realizing my office door was still open- and I’ve never felt so loved, so supported. To think, there are good people out there, and they know about me- if only as ‘P’, and they care. I can feel it.’

‘P’ also had a very insightful gift for ‘E’ who shared his post- about ‘the people of God’ rather than the monolith of the institutional Church being where ‘God is really happening.’ I promised to pass it along.

And one last word from ‘P’ ‘-whoever they are, wherever they are, tell them thank-you. Tell them I love them, I feel so loved and blessed- because of them. ‘

Juan- carry him in your hearts, on your breath, through out your day please. The decisive date is Monday, December 7th- the Deportation hearing. Thank-you.

David@Montreal

my Dec 1st

2009-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

December 2, 2009

The day after World AIDS Day, and I can’t help but wonder, did anyone learn anything yesterday?

Living with the hard reality of unemployment and diminishing financial resources meant that World AIDS Day this year was observed the way I would have done so every year in the last 20+: in silence, in practice and prayer.

World AIDS Day is very personal for me.

It’s not just the loss of my beloved Louis, one of the most extraordinary beings I’ve ever known, co-founder of the first AIDS service organization here in Montreal and defining gift of my life.
It’s not just the 300+ buddies and friends who died in the care of a programme I helped run before moving on to other forms of activism.
It’s not just the great flood of memory and detail of two over-sized decades on the front lines of service and activism locally.
It’s not just the POZ folks I have known, most unforgettably from Africa, through conferences and networking.
It’s also the great wall of chosen indifference we’d thrown ourselves up against again and again for decades now.

It’s also the aching sense I’ve had since the very first time I met a POZ person from Africa that her suffering and the sense that , the obscene suffering of her great continent needn’t have ever happened if Westerners had re-examined their homophobia and stepped forward to help in that first, nightmarish decade of HIV/AIDS when some winter weeks we had folks dying daily.

It's all interconnected.

Sometime mid-afternoon, keeping my ass on the bench and the long-suffering of my creatures had brought me to a space beyond the memories of helpless frustration, loss and the seeming inability to make a real difference; to a reflective space.

Truth is, my life was totally altered by those decades- in more ways that you’d really want to know about.

Truth is, because of the very real courage, passion and grace I witnessed and shared in the lives of those we lost there are just some things I have zero patience with now.

Truth is it can never be the same: the way life was before those two over-sized, transformiatve decades.

Which strangely enough brought me to the seeing just how those years shape and inform my sense of what is going on in our Church at this moment.

The Church and AIDS you ask? Bare with me please.

Sitting there, the silence ended up asking a series of questions.

In those raw, first years before anyone really knew anything much; before AIDS had been normalized and so many careers were being built on the back of HIV AIDS; what were our options- what was our only real option.

To turn up- to step into the very real poverty of the ‘need’.

What did you have to work with?

Nothing much except each other. Let me rephrase that- nothing much but the grace of God in and through each other.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am NOT glamorizing, idealizing, or fondly looking back.
I remember just how little there was in the way of resources; and how much at times, we were able to do with it.
I remember the end of too many months when there was NOTHING to give.
The meals left out in the hospital hallway- on the floor!
Medical staff double-gloved and masked just to take a temperature.
Substandard housing, inadequate welfare and treatments options running out.
Friends carried out of their apartments, while the landlord hovered, impatient to change the lock.
Unpaid bills, unbought winter clothes, the indifference or rejection of families.
Funerals and late night bedside vigils.
The polite avoidance both by too many churches and the corporate sector.
I remember wasting flesh, the rawness of diapers needing to be changed, silent sunken eyes and fetid breath.

Yes, there was also moments of extraordinary grace- so many of them. Laughter, the incredible Christmas parties we somehow organized, the silent defiance of our marches through the gay village and the joy and generosity of our friends when they knew that Louis and I really were a couple.
Mostly, I remember the raw chasm of ineffective helplessness with each death, and none more so than that of my beloved.

Sitting there, a kalidescope of faces and memories- many of them of ‘the moment’ when individual lives broke open to the hard reality and grace of their situation. The naked place where ‘who,’ ‘when,’ ‘how’ became irrelevant; where victimhood was cast off, and Life- every precious moment of it became the only priority.

Which brigs me even closer to this sense of the interconnectedness between the reality we lived then and the current state of our Church.

Current appearances to the contrary- yes inspite of all the noise, the panicked fear, the threats, recriminations, the supercilious posturing and condamnations; we, the Church - let me be more specific, the Anglican Church is standing on very sacred ground, where the Holy Spirit is closer to us than breath, where the transformative possibilities are limitless; where the ‘dream of God,’ and the call to heal Her creation has never been stronger or clearer.

But inherent in that dream- that call, are a few things the Church- our Church has to embrace and own up to; and as I say this the face of one exquisitely precious friend comes to mind. An accomplished correographer and dancer, it was only in that quite, but very sacred moment when she owned her sero-status, that she stepped beyond being a victim of either circumstances or virus and owned the gift of life she had been given, with all its many graces, its gifts and its lessons.

Likewise, I’d suggest there are a few things our Churches have to own up to and own:

1) It’s history, and the suffering & harm it has done in too many lives, the scandal and insanity it has, at times been implicit in- never more so than currently in Uganda.
Buried in this hard but radically freeing truth is a TREMENDOUS gift once we step into the realization that the life, ministry and death of our blessed Lord and Saviour was about anything but power. It was and is about Life

I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.

2) The sacred ambiguity (h/t saint Verna) which contemporary critical study of Scriptural texts calls us into is a wondrous, freeing, ambiguous gift. Within this context it is my understanding that ‘idolatry’ is essentially a futile attempt to control reality, to colonize or franchize the Living God and the sacrament of life itself- usually in the exercise of power.

3) The sacramental gift of the lives, grace and ministry of the faithful laity, and none more so now than the LGBT faithful, who continue to fill our pews, continue to contribute of their gifts and time, and continue to stand witness to that ‘Love beyond our wildest imaging’ in their lives and vocations within a patriarchal monolith which continually wills them back to a ‘crucified place.’
To quote one, very dear sister, ‘when are they going to realize, it’s our best they receive- the best of our loves, our lives and faith.’

Please let me contextualize this within two conversations which began in the weeks before December 1 but which resonated deeply within my practice and observance yesterday.

‘P’ is a man in his thirties, an accountant by profession, a faithful son of the Roman Catholic Church, who recognizing his gender as a gay man chose to remain faithfully celibate, and for more than a decade worked in his diocesan structure as a professional accountant before moving on to work in the corporate sector. ‘P’ knew of me through a family member of his in another city with whom he’d often had issues over her leaving ‘the Church’ over the issues of the ordination of women and the full inclusion of LGBT faithful. ‘P’ like too many closeted faithful was ‘the Church’s’ staunchest defender' in their ‘discussions he told me ironically.’

Two things in particular brought ‘P’ ‘to the wall,’ to use his words: ‘taking on’ James Carroll’s ‘Practicing Catholic’ and subsequently the ‘arrogant pronouncement of the American Council of Bishops’ on the efficacy of end of life suffering.

‘It all just shattered- like that’ he told me through audible tears. ‘Carroll is right- so much of it is man-made b.s. inflicted on a Jesus-hungry faithful to shore up the power of a bunch of old men in skirts.

There was one paragraph in particular ‘P’ read to me over the phone:

‘When the Gospels have Jesus ‘predicting’ the destruction of the Temple and identifying himself as the replacement, they are describing an after-the-fact adaption that Jesus’ followers made to what the Romans had already done. Writing in 80 or 100 a story that claims to be happening in 30, they bring into that story, as prophecy, the decisive destruction of the Temple in 70. The Temple will be destroyed, Jesus says, because the Jews are rejecting him. But the rejection in question is experienced not by Jesus in 30, but by Jesus’ followers in 80 or 90 or 100, afer the Temple has been destroyed.
James Carroll, ‘Practicing Catholic’ pp 143

‘Why were we never taught this? How can they continue to teach inerrancy,’ ‘P’ challenged me over the phone.

The other conversation began almost two weeks earlier, from ‘E’ in her late forties; single mother of two adult children; a narcotics officer seconded for a year to an American federal agency. ‘Away from home for a year’ on this posting, she’d quite innocently asked the pastor of the Lutheran Church she is currently attending for some reading suggestions for the long evenings she spends alone in her’ temporary quarters.’

‘E’ was reading Marcus Borg when she called- referred by that same pastor who has been an online friend of mine for more than two years now.

‘Jesus, Uncovering the Life, Teachings, and Relevance of a Religious Revolutionary’ was the volume in question, and ‘the wall’ ‘E’ had hit was Borg’s chronological de-construction of Scripture.

Rather than weeping, ‘E’ was angry- without being sure who the real target was, and uncomfortable sharing what she was feeling with her interim pastor, ‘someone I barely know,’ she told me without being aware of the irony of speaking to an absolute stranger long distance.

When my initial suggestion, that what was really going on here was a call from the Holy Spirit, an invitation to embrace both a larger life and a larger faith, ‘E’s anger and the pain beneath it found its bullseye- yours truly.

Less than an hour later she called back, and we talked, prayed in our respective silences, and yes, even laughed late into the night. (Danged time differences!)

Several times ‘E’ quoted to me what I sensed were the articles of the faith of her particular denomination, none of which I ever challenged.

However I did suggest they might be only part of the picture, a ‘particular context.’

Sometime after midnight, with me asking questions more than anything ‘E’ was silent for several very long moments. ‘... I think I’m finally getting it... there’s God, and there’s the Church, and what I’ve been doing... what I’ve been holding on to is the Church, not God.’

I reminded her of her own family’s story, how one of her grandfathers or great grandfathers had literally been responsible for much of the construction and all of the beautiful carving in the prairie church she still considered her spiritual home, and that there is real beauty in all of that.

‘Yes, but Church without... personal relationship with God is... rules and real estate.’

We actually ended up discussing ‘the gift of Borg,’ how the scholarship he shares can be used as a lense- an always incomplete lense, for ‘seeing through the structure to God waiting for us in the very sacrament of our lives.

Yes, we actually talked about the sacrament of ‘E’s’ life, and that’s when there were tears.

‘E’ I sent back to her pastor with the suggestion that perhaps they might want to start a group study of Borg’s book.

‘P,’ with his permission I put him in touch with a gay Episcopal priest I know of in his city. Not for conversion- for friendship.

Their first contact was when ‘P turned up ‘unannouced’ at Sunday Eucharist, and sat there in tears, ‘at the sheer wonder if it all. So many tears I almost didn’t go up to receive the Sacrament,’ he told me.

‘P’ and his new friend have got together several times, for an ‘incredible meal’ at the rectory, for a film 'that had nothing to do with anything but laughter,' and several long walks.

‘E’s’ last e-mail to me closed with ‘ not a cloud in the sky. Everything is indeed possible with God.’

And sitting there late last night it all fit together- my understanding of the great blessings our ordained sisters have brought our Church; the awesome miracle of November 2, 2003 and the truly great gift the faithful of New Hampshire gave our Church; the frightened noisy theatrics from what another friend calls ‘the peanut gallery of the Anglican purity police’; the persistent wonder of the faithfulness and generosity of so very many LGBT lives within our Church and the life-affirming powerful ways in which the Holy Spirit is using those lives to bring us into ‘life more abundantly.’

Yes, there were tears, of love and thankfulness, of awe and remembrance.

Thanks be to God.

Just a thought

2009-11-29T09:07:00.000-08:00

Any authentic religious message, like any scientific method presupposes fallible minds and tolerance... Finally, religion and science are both grounded in mystery. and when religion and science insist on seeing each other as antagonists, the truth in the mystery is lost.

Practicing Catholic
James Carroll pp 247

Just which values are we working with

2009-11-25T13:02:00.000-08:00

I am talking to you here as someone belonging to the so-called First World of the industrial West. And the real exile of Christians in the First World is that we have learnt to put up with that exile.

We do not look on our life in the affluent society as if we were in Egypt. On the contrary, we have adapted ourselves to it to such and extent that in the very midst of Egypt, under the domination of the Pharaoh, we feel quite at home. We Christians in the First World have adapted ourselves to the Egyptian way of life, and we have taken over the Egyptains fundamental outlook- the assumption, for example that individualism is the highest stage of human development; or the assumption that history is a senseless seesaw; sometimes one group is up; sometimes- after a revolution, perhaps,- it’s another. We have learnt very successfully to endure our exile- so successfully that as Christians we no longer see ourselves as being in exile at all, or as strangers in a foreign country. In fact we are more concerned to Egyptianize the whole world. We consider that the countries which have not as yet adapted themselves completely to the capitalist way of life and its system of values are ‘not yet’ as advanced as ourselves. The context of our lives is Egypt, but we try by all possible means to avoid taking this historical context of ours too seriously. We prefer to ontologize Egypt, saying that the things we don’t approve of in our countries are in accordance with man’s sinful naure, which is an eternally given fact. We declare that certain quite specific human characteristics, which have without any doubt developed in the course of history, are simply natural- competitive greed for example, or envy, and the lust for possessions . The Egyptian way of life seems to us the natural one...

In the First World we have learnt to put up with exile, and that means that we have even forgotten the thirst for justice and righteousness. We have become one with the objective cynicism of the prevailing culture.

Chosing Life
Dorothee Soelle

Rocky but sacred ground

2009-11-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Before anything else, a very deep bow to ‘K’, former Zen priest, teacher, partner, father and dear shanga buddy, who complains that the longer he knows me the more Anglican he’s becoming. Many years now, since his first e-mail querying my ‘rather original practice’ ( no bowing to statues, no chanting in languages I didn’t understand). ‘K’ was one of the first to realize, when I was blogging more regularly that most of my posts were about a lot larger things than just the then-current events in the Anglican Communion. He has also graciously, but very persistently reminded me that I have been noticeable for my absence from this space.

A deep bow also to my beloved siblings in Christ Jesus. You know who you are, the kick-ass brothers and sisters who receive and act on my Prayer Calls, the bloggers whose sites I visit and comment on frequently- often on a daily basis. Living blessings each one of you, for me personally you’re also the most real embodiment of the extraordinary blessings of being a member of the Living Body of Christ.

Yes, it’s been a while- July 27 2008 to be exact, the date of my last post.
Lambeth 2008 was drawing to a close, and the title of my previous post was ‘Sad but Confident.’

Yes something happened- yet again the Church, OUR Church broke my heart- ‘shattered’ perhaps a more exact description of what happened this time, because there were pieces, lots of pieces.

It wasn’t just the dis-invitation of the blessed Bishop of New Hampshire.

It wasn’t just the extremely comic but obscene extravagance of the Big Blue Tent, when the C of E remains one of the largest property owners in Great Britain;
nor was it just the obscene expense of all those security fences and the people manning them; the fancy passes, the shuttling back and forth from Cathedral to campus...

It wasn’t just the hypocritical theatrics of a very public walk to end world poverty which lasted but one hour - a lot less time than it took everyone to lunch at ++Rowan’s London palace or to take tea with the Queen.

You don’t need my experience and study in organizational transformation to see what a patently hollow, exercise in passive-aggressive control and avoidance Lambeth 2008 really was.

At one of the most critical and decisive junctures in our Church’s history, the host and seeming episcopal head of our Church not only excused by his silence the very individuals who were levelling threats against our Church, he exiled one of our Church’s most prophetic voices, declared ahead of time that no decisions would be made; and then, just as everyone’s already packed & saying their fond farewells he slams down on the table two papal-like takes on Anglican reality- the latest Windsor-Whatever, and his summation of the exercise.

Give the party a exotic name, build a fancy venue, create a tight programme which leaves everyone overwhelmed but feeling good, and then send them home too exhausted to question what’s just happened, but so very glad they’ve been invited.

Sounds pretty controlling and disingenuous to me, and as I write these words I’m remembering an e-mail from an African priest now living outside. “Rowan and his ilk owe the people of Africa and saint Desmond Tutu a public and heart-felt apology for misappropriating ‘Indaba' and mis-using it to their own hollow ends.’

When it came time in 2008 for me to write my next post, on the outcomes of Lambeth 2008 I wrote it with my tears and prayers, and never posted it.

In the year plus, it has primarily been my beloved siblings in Christ who have essentially been the Living Body of Christ for me.

As I said, earlier you know who you are, and you have no idea of the blessings, the sources of love and grace you’ve been for me personally, and thank-you doesn’t quite cover it.

But failing or declining to meet the opportunities the Holy Spirit was offering our Church in 2008 we’ve come to an even darker, harder place. A chance and calling writ large, the Holy Spirit’s invitation to act like the redeemed people we are; to accept Her transformative gifts implicit in the situation in Uganda; to speak truth to those who inspite of their atrocious acting out are still our brothers in Christ.

I am referring of course to the proposed anti-homosexual legislation in Uganda. Legal insanity which could see imprisonment for ‘suspected homosexuality’ the death penalty for ‘aggrivated homosexuality’, and imprisonment for friends and family who fail to report our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters within 24 hours. Legislation, encouraged, aided and abetted by the leaders of the Anglican Church of Uganda. And shamefully, with only two public exceptions, the leadership of our Church has not found its voice.

On so many levels it should be clear, this IS a defining moment for our Church. And once again the Holy Spirit clearly appears to be ‘leading from the floor’ as she did in Anaheim.

As I have reeled and wept over much that has been reported on this horror, I have also cheered and glowed with pride over the postings, letters and protests by many I am blessed and honoured to call brothers and sisters in Christ. They’ve done some incredible work- and we will keep it up.

And I’m talking about some of the Church’s biggest, most unrecognized defenders, some of it’s hardest workers and most generous; many of whom have paid a very real price for their faith in one context or another and continue to bear the marks of that sacrifice. But they’re also some of the most radiant, loving people I know. I fear for where our Church might be without them.

But its hard and it’s real- and a verrrrry sacred the place in which we stand right now as a Church- absolutely transformative in its possibilities. And after much prayer, silence and tears it’s my sense that it’s those possibilities which may have something to do with the shameful silence from the Churches so-far.

None of our Provinces of the Church have a very good record of wholeheartedly embracing the opportunities of growth, grace and healing the Holy Spirit is offering us by welcoming and celebrating the loves, lives and vocations of our LGBT faithful and those who will follow them back to the Church we are called to be. If Rowan or Katherine speak prophetically on Uganda things can’t possibly remain the same in their own provinces. And perhaps that's what's scaring them the most.

Anyone else see the radically transformative possibilities here?

But to quote one slightly irrevrant brother ‘and maybe it’s just possible that +Rowan’s grown too comfortable with a picket up his ass, sitting on that proverbial fence?’

Yes, I’ve heard the theorizing about how any comment from ‘the west’ could only incense greater reprisals, wilder insanity inflicted on our brothers and sisters in Uganda and elsewhere in Africa.

Nice theory, but the individuals involved are not only legally responsible adults- parliamentarians, priests and bishops, many of them are baptized Christians who are called to accountability by the same God as you and I. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR REACTIONS, FOR THEIR REACTIVE BEHAVIOR.

All we can be responsible for is witnessing to the truth as we see it in the two-fold commandment given us by our Savior ‘To love the Lord your God with your whole heart and mind, and your neighbor as yourself.’

Our responsibility is for our words or our silence; our actions or cowering inactivity.

As one beloved sister reminded us powerfully in her recent post SILENCE = DEATH, and in this instance the death won’t just be of our Ugandan brothers and sisters but of the prophetic voice & moral witness of a Church called to be implicitly prophetic by embodying the wisdom, grace and ambiguity in the tension & balance of our model of practice- the three-legged stool.

One voice out of Uganda suffices: this thanks to The Changing Church
http://changingattitude-england.blogspot.com/2009/11/should-archbishops-of-canterbury-and.html

I have no doubt that behind the scenes, in a delicate Anglican way, feelers are being put out and contacts made both in the UK and Uganda to discern what might be an appropriate reaction to the Bill, and how Church of England leaders might exert and influence.

One of the reasons advocated for saying nothing in public is that western outsiders, and ex-colonial rulers to boot, have no right to comment on legislation and morality and church teaching in Uganda. Gug, one of Changing Attitude’’s gay Ugandan contacts, begs to differ.

He writes:

Funny, I am a Ugandan, desperately worried because of this Bill in parliament. If it passes, which most likely it will, I and my partner will face life imprisonment, or death, once caught.

Is it surprising that I don’’t mind anyone, even a 'foreigner' speaking out for me? Especially when I cannot speak out myself in my country about this bill? I used to like political correctness until I realised that life does not follow its rules. My country mates plan to kill me, and you fear to say no, because you don’’t think you as a foreigner should comment?

It happened in Nazi Germany, for Jews, and homosexuals; it happened in Rwanda as recently as 20 years ago.

When, I pray, do you as a 'foreigner' plan to challenge my murderers that they have gone beyond the pale of humanity? When I am dead? Do you really think that will help?

I believe it is actually an opportunity for the Archbishop of Canterbury to take back the moral high ground from the Church of Uganda leaders. They have made it abundantly clear that they support the Bill. They support it in its terribleness. And now they have started back peddling. They are in a dilemma. It is almost impossible for them to recant, but the Bill is so terrible that they must recant! These guys have gone too far, and they realise it. They are on the back foot.

Let the Archbishop just be gracious and negotiate with them. I am sure they don’’t have a clue on how to retake their international standing. Besides now not having an 'official' stance on the bill, they are stopping the comments. On the day of the debate, the representative of the Church of Uganda who was supposed to support it did not appear. Yes, the pressure is working. Instead, his place was taken by someone else who was sadly funny. Except, the blood they are baying for is mine. They are not in danger!

Uganda is contemplating gay genocide. And yet, the people who are behind it are also adamant that they love gay people. They are just fearful of the spread of the gay disease. Not AIDS but homosexuality. They fear for themselves, they fear for their children, and their fear has translated into a fight for life, the lives of people like me. And we are losing.

In tears, I first read this powerful witness many hours ago, and it wouldn’t let me go.

Yes, I’ve e-mailed, written letters, signed petitions and prayed my heart into tearful silence- but it’s not enough. Our brothers and sisters in Uganda still live in fear for their very lives; for something not of their making; for a toxic theology; for generations of blood-soaked generations misogeny looking for a new prey.

When, I pray, do you as a 'foreigner' plan to challenge my murderers that they have gone beyond the pale of humanity? When I am dead? Do you really think that will help?

When, I pray, do you as a 'foreigner' plan to challenge my murderers that they have gone beyond the pale of humanity? When I am dead? Do you really think that will help?

When, I pray, do you as a 'foreigner' plan to challenge my murderers that they have gone beyond the pale of humanity? When I am dead? Do you really think that will help?

I can’t forget these words. They won’t leave me alone.

So yes I’ve still not recovered from Lambeth 2008, but our brothers and sisters in Uganda can’t wait for the Bishop of New Hampshire to receive his personal letter of apology from the Archbishop of Canterbury or from the Bishop of Durham either.

So David@Montreal is back, and you’re going to be hearing from me. Count on it!

In closing, a dear brother in Christ who has become a treasure and radiant source of blessing in my life posted a prayer on this matter

A Prayer for Deliverance

O God, your glory blazes with the light of love and justice, your righteousness and your mercy flow together as one mighty stream: May we who beseech deliverance from violence, oppression, and degradation be purged within of their roots--of fear, envy, powerlessness, anger, resentment, the lust for revenge and the desire to hurt--and of the blindness and willfulness which beset our best intentions; that we may not act with violence, neither oppress nor degrade any of your creatures, but may strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being; for Jesus' sake. Amen.

And may the people of God say Amen.

Your brother in Christ

David@Montreal

Sad, but Confident

2008-07-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

As one who I am blessed to call a brother in Christ aptly called it, this past week (Lambeth 1) has borne some real resemblance to a roller-coaster, and not just for those who find themselves in or near Lambeth.

Cause for real joy yes, primarily in the wondrous work our sisters and brothers at St. Stephen’s Hall are daily publishing The Lambeth Witness
http://www.integrityusa.org/lambeth2008/index.html
Magnificent work & witness!

No, I’m not going to tout any individual articles, but would rather encourage you to have your own ‘Lambeth Witness’ experience.

Sadly of course, Lambeth week 1 brought us a lot more than that- ending not with the witness of the Millennium Goals March, but with the ‘Faith & Order’ proposal, with more to come next Monday apparently. (See Mark+ Harris’ usual great analysis at Preludium ) http://anglicanfuture.blogspot.com/

Not that we should have been too surprised. In my opinion at least, the noise and chaos too often being inflicted on our beloved Communion has correctly called as ‘the last gasps of patriarchy.’ Only a fool would expect them to give up their centuries of privilege without a fight, and elsewhere I’ve detailed Who and what I believe its is they’re taking on.

That said, I admit to still being shaken.... no make that deeply saddened by the ‘Faith & Order’ proposal, and even more by ++Rowan’s public support for it.

Taking all of this to the bench of my practice I’ve sat long and hard ( no cushion on my meditation bench) praying for understanding, mindfully breathing myself into that unconditionality where insight sometimes happens.

A seamless, confident attentiveness.

Those who know me, if only from previous writings, understand that much of my appreciation and understanding of current events in our beloved Communion is influenced by the my reading and work in organizational transformation perhaps most succinctly embodied in the word ‘process.’

As noisy, threatening and confrontational as things may appear at times, we are part of and in an on-going process, which if we truly believe ourselves to be the Living Body of Christ, is being overseen and supported by the Holy Spirit Herself.

A dance, where the music might not always be audible.

A process, where some perceptions or understandings are outgrown, others re-contextualized; where some things fall away and in other, perhaps less-appreciated quarters new life and growth appear.

Process: alive and as on-going as the dance of life itself.

That said, I continued to sit- hoping for some real insight.

Reflectively back-peddling on the course of the last week; at one point, I sat with the fact that even with all goodwill and earnest prayers many have brought with them, the millions spent, the carbon footprint of the Conference, the Big Top, the wonderful work of the stewards, the faithful blogging of a surprising number of Bishops; week 1 has perhaps been most remarkable for its avoidance of what’s really going on in the Communion: the real context of Anglican life these days.

Two, not one elephants in the room, as several media have suggested.

And neither of them bare the slightest resemblance to the much beloved Bishop of New Hampshire, whose Christ-like exile has only invested him with greater moral presence and authority.

Elephant #1 (Under a throw of finest Episcopal purple silk) the pronouncements, provincial poaching, and public contempt heaped on both the Episcopal Church and its Presiding Bishop and the Anglican Church of Canada by the several forces working so very hard to do damage to the Church.

Elephant #2 (Under a generous rainbow-hued throw) The Episcopal Church’s sense and engagement with its vocation to grow into an ever more inclusive embodiment of the unconditional love of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I could wax long on the list of those faithful Christians insulted or erased by the simplistic misrepresentation of what’s going on in both North American Churches as the consecration of the Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire, but I’ve done that elsewhere.

As obvious as it might appear to many of us, I would suggest that it is only by throwing off the over-organized, polite denial this current exercise appears to be built on, inviting the ‘elephants’ into the centre of the room, thanking them for their presence, trusting in the Holy Spirit and joining them in colegial prayer; listening in non-accusatory judgement, and sharing the fears that some may have, that the real work of our Church can begin.

As conscientiously as many good people may be prayerfully trying within the precincts, more than 200 brother bishops are boycotting Lambeth, showing real contempt for this exercise in faith. And I would suggest that it is only by owning this loss, by grieving for much of the posturing and rhetoric of the past months that this Conference will find itself capable of realizing any real gifts for the future of our Communion.

Likewise with the prayerful, faithful on-going experience of the Episcopal Church. In any real-life context, the loving, graceful response to someone one does not understand or appreciate would be to engage one’s friend or sibling in dialogue, perhaps even prayerful dialogue.

Haven’t see too much of that from our Primate and Bishop’s though, have we?

A conference built on denial and avoidance- even polite denial and avoidance, I would suggest, has about as good a chance as the house built on sand cited in Scripture.

As to this infamous ‘Faith & Order’ proposal, and the other ‘bomb’ anticipated in so many quarters, currently undergoing the effects of monolithic bureaucracy in another quarter of my life, I can’t say I’m surprised so much as saddened by their predictability.

That’s what patriarchy does:
pronounces instead of working to consensus
legislates instead of listening
outlaws instead embracing the gifts of diversity & ambiguity
manages instead of trusting
defines rather than opening itself to the grace and life of a ‘situation.’

Was this the only Lambeth possible?

Hardly, I would suggest-

But of course anything else would have required the prelates, collectively and individually to step beyond the precincts of the patriarchy so many of them find themselves trapped in
to own the grief and loss of the boycott;
to graciously, attentively receive and listen to the struggles and experience of the North American Churches;
To trust,
and to faithfully wait upon the Holy Spirit for insight an understanding.

Such a Lambeth would have been built on a humble, honest ownership of the brokeness
of our Communion-
the same brokeness which, with God’s good grace leaves us open to be possibility of the Holy Spirit’s partnership at work and at play in our individual lives.

Faith & Order?
Whatever it is which threatens to land on our heads and hearts Monday?

As sad is it would be for Lambeth 2008 to be known primarily for the reports which weren’t endorsed, for the proposals which failed and at least one headline about an ’aborted Anglican Inquisition;’ as sad & confusing as things might seem at times, my faith is in the very real presence & working of the Holy Spirit, and in the essential goodness of the 1,000+ brothers and sisters meeting in Kent (Bishops & spouses, LGBT brothers and sisters, even the media-) all elements in a sacred, on-going process of living transformation.)

Is there a future for the Anglican Communion?
What does it look like? http://www.integrityusa.org/lambeth2008/index.html

In closing, I’d offer the words of the blessed & blessing Bishop of Colorado, the Right Rev. O’Neill, writing on the day in London.

While there is no disagreement on the sentiment of opposing global poverty, our collective will is sadly lacking. If we, the Church, do not speak a powerful word of compassion and equality and justice (the very words of our Lord) into the indifferent structures of our government and society, then who will? Is that not what the prophet Micah meant when he wrote, “and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

It gets back, I think, to the fact that when it comes to participating in God’s mission “the road is made by walking it.” Period. End of sentence. This is what our world longs to see—not spectacle, but women and men of faith standing together courageously, without condition, in Love.

Until we Christians are willing quite literally to stand in complete solidarity to the poorest of the poor in our world, we bear witness to nothing more than a garden party and we have no good news to share with a world that is starving to hear it.

Let the people of God say Amen!

Enough!

2008-07-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

Have these bullies of the patriarchy no shame?

They selectively not only mis-represent the Holy Scriptures, publicly tie the love of our blessed Saviour into knots, alienate faithful Christians from each other in their own interests; they judge and discount the working of the Holy Spirit in an Independent Province of our Church, abuse the gracious patience of the Primate of that same Province, ferment discord and disrespect centuries old Provincial boundaries, now n their latest assault, they try blaming the dear brother who has born the brunt of their vitriolic ugly behaviour for their shameful public displays and lack of control.

And this right on the heels of the dissembling performance by ++Rowan at his press conference yesterday. An example which might have given +Daniel implicit permission for his little stunt today- joined by+Jack Iker.

Of ++Rowan, Jim Naughton of Episcopal Café: The Lead reports

‘but Williams seems to be arguing that bishops not only represent their diocese, but participate in a worldwide ““fellowship,”” that Gene’’s membership in that fellowship is ““questionable”” for reasons that Williams did not elaborate upon, and that he had been excluded for those unexpressed reasons.’

‘Questionable?’

The only thing questionable as a reflection of Anglican faith and tradition, as far as I can see is

the total absence of respect towards the people of New Hampshire and the working of the Holy Spirit among them;

the election, the confirmation of their choice of their candidate for the Episcopacy by the requisite number of American bishops- themselves duly elected, confirmed & consecrated, and the Spirit-filled consecration of that same brother Christian

the discourtesy and shameful public rudeness repeatedly carried out towards the Primate of that same independent Province because of her gender and the grace and intelligence she has shown in execution of her office.

the complete disregard for the autonomy and boundaries of the Episcopal Province of the American Church; fostering dissent, poaching parishes and one diocese to date

the threats, verbal violence & lack of courtesy heaped on one of their own brothers- duly ordained, duly elected, confirmed and consecrated

the willful, selective use of Scripture to misrepresent the Good News of Christ Jesus

and then there’s the whole shameful handling of Lambeth by which ++Rowan’s cowardice; failing as ‘first among equals’ to call those who persist in exposing themselves as bullies of the patriarchy to accountability implicitly confirms all of the above and discounts our LGBT lives of faith as ‘necessary collateral damage’ once again.

If all of this is not questionable Christian behaviour, I’d like to know what is?

Will nothing stop these men in the shame they cause our Church, the scandalizing of untold numbers of laity who have spent their who lives faithfully worshipping and supporting our Church, and the spectacle they make in the media?

++ Rowan’s performance however was old news today, and two of his brother prelates stepped up to take his place- both equally shamefully.

brother ++Daniel, I guess it would be an understatement to say you positively break my heart, and that we disagree on perhaps everything but the punctuation in your statement.

++ Daniel wrote ‘We believe that human sexuality is God’’s gift to human beings which is rightly ordered only when expressed within the life-long commitment of marriage between one man and one woman. We require all those in the ministry of the Church to live according to this standard and cannot accept church leaders whose practice is contrary to this.’

++Daniel, of Christian charity I respect this to be your belief, and even that of the Church of Sudan, which is the only quarter in our Communion for which you are duly consecrated to speak. That said, might I not expect the same courtesy from you as a fellow Christian, and a life-long Anglican?

++Daniel wrote ‘We believe that God created humankind in his own image; male and female he created them for the continuation of humankind on earth.’

Coming from a continent struggling with poverty, starvation, AIDS, over-population in urban centres & drought in too much of the countryside how can you possibly perpetuate such a primitive understanding of our humanity?

++ Daniel wrote, ‘Women and men were created as God’’s agents and stewards on earth.’

Brother if we are in accord on this, why aren’t you speaking to the exploitation, the pollution, the extinction of the same resources of this precious earth, rather than interfering in the life of the Holy Spirit in another province of the Communion, as equally autonomous as yours?

++ Daniel said in his interview ‘God is not making a mistake creating Adam and Eve,”” Deng said, asserting that homosexual activity contradicted Biblical teaching. ““He would have created two Adams if he wanted.’

But did God’s involvement and blessing stop with the creation of Adam and Eve?
Or is God not implicitly present in the blessed birth of all his sons and daughters, made in the image and likeness of the one true living God?

++ Daniel wrote ‘We reject homosexual practice as contrary to biblical teaching’

That dear brother in Christ Jesus is your opinion. But I might also add that it is an opinion which is not informed by the presence of a identifiable gay and lesbian community in your life, by your own admission. Which perhaps has not witnessed the violence, prejudice and lies these same people have suffered, most often at the hands of purported Christians. Or likewise witnessed the wondrous acts of healing and redemption being carried out by the Holy Spirit as these brothers and sisters consecrate their love and their lives to God within our Churches

++ Daniel wrote ‘We strongly oppose developments within the Anglican Church in the USA and Canada in consecrating a practising homosexual as bishop and in approving a rite for the blessing of same-sex relationships.

This too is your prerogative, dear brother, but in the context of our Church’s life and transformation it stands as nothing more than a personal opinion or the practice of your Province. To use this as grounds for passing judgement on the working of the Holy Spirit in another Province is an insult to all parties involved, and hardly becoming of one who loves the Anglican tradition.

++ Daniel wrote ‘The unity of the Anglican Communion is of profound significance to us as an expression of our unity within the Body of Christ.’

I would suggest that this is true for every, faithful living Anglican, and for anyone to set themselves up in judgement by suggesting to the contrary would be a great act of disrespect, both for our Communion and its members.

++Daniel wrote ‘It is not something we can treat lightly or allow to be fractured easily.’

And just who would you suggest is treating our Church in this manner, ++Daniel?

++Daniel wrote, ‘Our unity expresses the essential truth of the Gospel that in Christ we are united across different tribes, cultures and nationalities. ‘

I have yet to meet a living, breathing Anglican who does not believe and embody this- inspite of unsightly behaviour in some quarters of the Church. And here, let me clear, I am not referring to our American brothers and sisters in Christ.

++Daniel wrote ‘We have come to attend the Lambeth Conference, despite the decision of others to stay away,’

Brother this is where, sadly, we start to part company. ‘Despite the decision of others to stay away-‘ sadly, that was THEIR decision, and the discourteous manner in which they carried out that decision, did not, I would suggest bring any glory to our Church.

++ Daniel wrote ‘to appeal to the whole Anglican Communion to uphold our unity and to take the necessary steps to safeguard the precious unity of the Church’.

How, dear brother, can those present at Lambeth be expected to singlehandedly uphold our unity without the presence of those same partners who have chosen to boycott & dishonour the current fraternal exercise of prayer, worship and Scripture, without single-handedly capitulating to their opinions and demands?

++Daniel wrote ‘This has not only caused deep divisions within the Anglican Communion but it has seriously harmed the Church’’s witness in Africa and elsewhere, opening the church to ridicule and damaging its credibility in a multi-religious environment.'

With all due respect, Whoa Daniel!

We obviously have two different recollections of the course of the past months in the life of the Communion.

It was not the voices of full inclusion for all baptized who threatened or called schism?

It was not the witness of the transformative Church which publicly dishonoured the gifts and ministry of American Primate, of the Archbishop of Canterbury, of the people of New Hampshire, of the Lambeth gathering, of the polity and people of the American Church and of election of one of their duly elected & consecrated brothers.

Do I need to remind you? Sadly, it was our brothers who decided to set themselves apart from Lambeth, and who invoked GAFCON- mis-representing & insulting the government of Jordan in the process of inventing their own mythology.

So, sadly dear +Daniel, it will come as no surprise to you that I completely repudiate your call for our blessed, radiant brother +Gene to step down from is Episcopacy and to renounce his calling as Bishop.

A scandalous suggestion under any circumstances, but particularly disappointing coming from a Christian brother at a time when in so many quarters it has become so abundantly clear that our beloved Church, upheld by the unfailing grace and compassion of the Holy Spirit is undergoing a transformation and reconciliation to the ‘love beyond our wildest imagining’ of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And with unwavering faith in that same Love, I will carry you in my heart brother ++Daniel

Sadly ++Daniel, you are quoted as having ‘called on the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson to resign to preserve the unity of the Anglican Communion.’ elsewhere you are further quoted as telling him to resign and go home to be a ‘normal Christian’.

Brother, it is this statement, more than any other which moves me in the Spirit to challenge you.

Not only is such a suggestion an insult to the Holy Spirit and Its working in the American Church, we both know it is only the unfailing grace of that same Holy Spirit which can preserve any unity within the Body of Christ.

And it was NOT the Right Reverend V. Gene Robinson who engendered this threat of schism in the first place, but those who refuse to recognize that the Holy Spirit could possibly ever act outside the limits of their experience and understanding , those whose witness and practice has repeatedly dishonoured the Communion.

Holy Scripture tells us ‘by their fruits ye shall know them.’

I would invite our GAFCON brothers to cast off their jeuvenile genital fixation and look at Bishop Robinson, the man and the fruits of his ministry, and then to own their own shameful part in the long suffering our Communion has undergone.

As to your comment about ‘normal Christian’ as your brother in Christ, I would dare to remind you that there is nothing ‘normal’ about our lives or vocations as Christians; that in Christ Jesus we are all equal before God and man, having been equally redeemed by the same sacrifice on the Cross.

‘Transformation,’ ‘reconciliation’ & ‘renewal’ it’s not hard for me to imagine how frightening these words must be for some, especially when it’s being carried out in lives the ‘establishment’ prefers to reject, abuse or ignore. But this too, I would suggest dear brother is only further proof that this work of redemption & renewal I speak of is clearly from God, in accordance with our Lord Christ Jesus’ ministry and His promises to the Church.

So of course dear brother, confident in that same ‘love beyond our wildest imagining,’ I will remember affectionately in prayer.

your brother in Christ Jesus, whose Love is indeed beyond our wildest imagining.

David@Montreal

They Just Don't Get IT- Do They

2008-07-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

I’ve held off writing in this space for a while now.
For a couple of reasons:

With Lambeth upon us, I’ve felt there’s been more than enough ‘talk’ going on- and most of it by better educated, more articulate voices than mine.

I’ve also felt deeply moved to spend this time in practice ,study and confident prayer- most particularly for my lesbian and gay brothers and sisters gathering at St. Stephen’s Church, our radiant cloud of inclusive witness. My awareness of the risks they are taking, of their radiant love for the transformative process we call the Anglican Communion, and the costs several have paid for their lives of embodied faith is almost constantly with me as I go through my days here in Montreal.

Several of those radiant beings are personally precious to me for the contact and mutual support we have shared, and this morning I am particularly mindful of one dear sister who will be boarding a plane for Lambeth later this afternoon.

And if I’m going to be honest, I have to admit there’s been a third reason for my silence. When I hear of fellow LGBT Christians being advised by civil authorities that they have to be measured for kevlar bullet-proof vest before going to meet with other Christians in a public venue, of course I am overcome with fearful concern, and there was one raw week when I was completely incapable of any approximation of ‘trust’ when it came to these dear souls.

Complex. Slightly weird at times. But yes, what an incredibly interesting time to be a gay or lesbian person ‘claiming the blessings’ of Anglican faith and practice!

But they still don’t get it.

And by ‘they’ I’m referring to the vested interests of the Anglican establishment.

A couple of cases to illustrate my point.

1. The current inherent insult:

The media ad nauseam claim it’s all about +Gene, and LGBT folks claiming the infinite blessings of our baptism, but perhaps benefiting from a physical distance from Lambeth I’d like to suggest, with all due love and respect that in the ‘bigger picture’ that dear +Gene New Hampshire, ++Katherine and all my personal LGBT heroes of faith are little more than footnotes to what’s really going on.

As a Church and Communion we constantly pray and strive to remain open to the will of God as revealed in the course of our lives; in our personal prayers and public liturgies we entreat the Holy Spirit to guide us, to sustain us , to make us worthy of embodying Christ’s redemptive love- ‘a love beyond our wildest imagining’ as one dear, radiant brother reminds me by his life and ministry.

We ask for the engaged presence and the gifts of the Holy Spirit in almost everything we do as a Church..... well folks, THIS IS IT.

The gift of the Holy Spirit in these times is the living miracle of thousands of gay and lesbian lives, scorned, rejected, beaten, discriminated against, stepping up and taking our loving, Lord at His word. Opening their lives once more to the possibility of something beyond the fears, lies and violence perpetuated against them. Taking Christ Jesus and those purporting to be His Church at their word, and living lives based on the unfailing gifts of their baptismal promises.

So just Who is really bearing the brunt of this current round of insult due to a lack of faith and imagination, small-mindedness and petty nastiness?

You want gifts?

Well could it be any clearer what the Holy Spirit has sent the living body of Christ Jesus in these times?

Those that that same Church has rejected.

Men and women who have not only born the marks of the Church’s frightened condemnation, but who have trusted enough in Christ’s unfailing love to give the Church another chance, over and over again- every Sunday when they bless your pews, every week-day when they serve on your committees or join you in prayer.

You want miracles and signs that, as our precious Lord promised, the Holy Spirit is present and actively at work in the Living body of Christ?

Look no further than these radiant lives, singing your hymns, praying your prayers, and with hard-won faith and life-altering gratitude kneeling to receive the body and blood of Christ from your anointed hands.

Could the living embodiment of these joyous, grateful, faithful lives be any clearer a sign?

And yet

A precious, radiant embodiment of that same redemptive working of the Holy Spirit is being excluded from the worship & councils of his fellow bishops

A radiant sister whose intelligence and grace, skills and education would be celebrated anywhere but in the councils of our Communion has suffered long months of vitriolic cursing and sneering condemnation

Both radiant individuals called and ordained; elected, duly confirmed, consecrated and sustained by the Holy Spirit to the ministries of service they carry out in our Church.

Elsewhere, and in too many quarters of our Communion, countless, faithful sisters and brothers in faith live in danger for their lives, suffer the discrimination of law, the rejection of their families and damnation from their pulpits, because of a regime of fearful patriarchy the Church- our Church continues to tolerate

The headlines persist in saying this is all about +Gene, but I would suggest that anyone with the courage to accept & use the intelligence our loving, long-suffering God has given us and the unfailing grace we continue to be showered with each day, will realize that nothing short of the presence and active engagement of the Holy Spirit is the real issue here.

Try hemming IT in with selective quoting Scriptural references which are little more than cultural contexts,

Try delaying IT with chapter and verse of canon law

Try avoiding IT with seemingly necessary diplomatic exclusion and a fearful silence in response to the threats, violence, piracy and cursing coming from some quarters of the Communion

But this is the Body of Christ, the live theatre of the Holy Spirit and you did ask-
for that same Holy Spirit to nourish, teach and sustain us,
to grant us the grace to embody that ‘love beyond our wildest imagining’ as the living Body of Christ.

Each and everyone of them; living, breathing embodiment of Christ’s love, of Christ’s patience and forbearance.

Living Gifts:
redeemed by that same sacrifice on the Cross
sustained by the grace, love and engaged partnership of the Holy Spirit

Gifts
lives raised in fear, scarred by threats, violence, lies, prejudice & exclusion, but, through God’s unfailing grace embodying in their healing-to-wholeness their joyous faithfulness & the active engagement of that ‘Love beyond our wildest imagining’ the working of God among us.

Gifts
living breathing gifts of the limitless faithfulness of our Saviours promises and the efficacy of the Holy Spirit in our lives

Gifts of the Holy Spirit & nothing less

God grant Her Church the grace and humility to say ‘thank-you’.

2. Ownership

There’s a lot of print and talk coming out of Lambeth already of the Church’s need to return to its vocation of evangelization. In too many of the documents, blogs and interviews the world continue to wears the implied quotation marks of its Church-assigned otherness.

But excuse me folks. Might we not be forgetting something here?

As any reparative therapy practitioner can tell us, ‘naming’ and ‘ownership’ are necessary prerequisites of any honest exercise in healing or restoration, and I would dare to suggest that any attempts at simply resurrecting old models of evangelizing ‘the world,’ ‘society’ or however you wish to objectify is doomed to be as alienating and inauthentic-sounding as many in the past.

Yes, too many of our pews too often remain empty
Yes, the great majority of humanity goes about their business with the Church little more than an architectural detail or bad memory in their lives
Yes, inspite of the Church’s best efforts to make the language, music and design of many of our liturgies relevant, they just don’t get it.

But I’d suggest that one reason they don’t get it- inspite of all the good intentions and earnest efforts of so many of our younger priests ( a joyously number of them gay or lesbian) is because our Church, and not the world has a rather gigantic breach of its own making to ford before any of them really get it- that ‘love beyond our wildest imagining’, which has become the only standard I personally will any longer accept of anyone claiming to speak as the Living Body of Christ.

Naming it- too simply put for some perhaps, it’s the shamefully long history of violence, condemnation, wars, objectification and expulsion the purity police of Christianity have carried out to shore up the privilege of their seeming authority

It’s the intentional distortion of Holy Scripture and selective mis-representation of Christ’s ministry of unconditional loving inclusion.

It’s the untold suffering, solitude and impoverishment of God’s creation blessed by those same ecclesiastical ‘authorities’

It’s the fear and ugly rancour coming from certain quarters of our beloved Communion which has brothers in Christ scandalously dishonouring the fellowship of the Blessed Sacrament in Tanzania, objectifying and condemning a sister equal, and dealing body blows to the very Church entrusted to their care

It’s the marks of violence, discrimination and otherness too many of my radiant LGBT brothers and sisters of faith bare on their bodies and souls, and the very explicit death threats many of our LGBT brothers and sisters at Lambeth have had to step beyond

It’s the stained glass ceiling still politely weighing down on the spirits and heads of too many radiant sisters called to priesthood and the episcopacy: i.e. the episcopal candidacy of the very reverend Tracey+ Lind

It’s the millions of dollars spent on poaching forays, irregular consecrations, legal disputes, rebel conferences and pronouncements while untold millions exist in the hell of poverty and starvation, go untreated for HIV/AIDS, uneducated & homeless

It’s the pollution, vandalization and impoverishment of God’s radiant jewel- mother earth and the wars being carried out over her resources

It’s the suspicion and wariness our Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist brothers and sisters greet our every effort at rapprochement with

It’s not just the heroic, the lyrical & beautiful parts we inherit as a Church, these too, through the agency of men is our inheritance, and it is only when we stop the posturing and pronouncements to own these too, and speak in the honest, redeemed humanity of that ownership will we as a Church be taken seriously.

So what’s going on here, you might well ask.

I don’t believe it’s by chance that it’s our Communion the Holy Spirit is using in these times to collectively call all of humanity out of fear and quaking otherness into lives redeemed and embodying that ‘love beyond our wildest imaging.’

Our unique three-fold practice of honouring Scripture, Tradition and Intelligence, I would suggest find us in a particularly unique and unexpectedly supple place in the on-going redemptive work of the Holy Spirit.

Growing up in a devout Anglican home, in a largely Roman Catholic province, here in Canada, I heard lots of talk of ‘a penitent church’, & together we produced some remarkable & magnificent liturgies, penitential rites and, musical performances. almost all exclusively focussing on Christ’s redemptive sacrifice- honest, earnest reflections of their time.

And yet the poor continue to die of the fruits of our impoverishment
The sick and aged suffer from our indifference-
the cries of the world go unheard as prelates pronounce on the limitation of their own understanding and experience
And mother earth chokes on the effluence of objectifying arrogance

Closer to home... for decades now I have heard talk and read official documents produced by the councils of our Church speaking of a ‘listening process to the lives and witness of our LGBT baptized,’ but I have yet to see one concrete embodiment of this professed will of our Communion- one collective act, one medium wether actual or virtual for LGBT voices to be recognized and heard.

Is it not possible it’s we, the ‘people of faith’ who have got it all wrong- God’s paradigm of redemption?
Could it possibly be it’s the world and not our rites & pronouncements which, through the unfailing grace of God serve as the primary medium and measure of our redemption and transformation?
The same world whose inherent vocation just might be to keep the Church honest
The world, an embodiment of the essential sacrament underlying the seven our Church and tradition celebrate- Life itself.

‘The world’
‘That woman’
‘The gay bishop’
All simplistic objectifications of the embodied, on-going engagement of the Holy Spirit in our very real lives and times

For generations the Apostles, Saints and martyrs have witnessed to us that faith- our faith is essentially all about relationship- with a God who loves us ‘ beyond our wildest imagining,’ and with each other

And yet the breach remains, equally I’d suggest from humanity and the Church’s fear of falling into the hands of the One and Only Living God.

Simplistic as it might sound, I would suggest that what’s essentially going on here is an unfaltering call from the Holy Spirit to come closer.

To step out of the straight-jacketed fear and divisiveness, into an embodied love- the source of all love- that only Love ‘beyond our wildest imagining’

To throw off the shackles of dualistic thinking and to recognize the wondrous seamless redemptive work of the Holy Spirit- as seamless as our Saviours robe at Golgotha

To gratefully own, not only our painful collective and individual pasts, but the redemptive blessedness of our baptism

Inheriting through grace and Christ’s sacrifice & promise to His Church, and the witness of the saints and apostles, a full confidence in the active, on-going engagement with the Holy Spirit in our lives

That’s what’s going on here - we’re called - by nothing less than the very ground of our being. Embodiment, nothing less what’s is expected and promised to those who respond.

3 On a personal note

Last evening, as dusk settled over the small garden which has been such a source of
joy and insight for me, I gave thanks collectively and individually for so many of the radiant LGBT lives of faith who have blessed me personally & so powerfully in these last months and years. Living embodiment of Christ’s unfailing love and mercy towards me, I named them.

Also, especially mindful of a sweet sister who has become inestimably precious to me, leaving for Lambeth this evening; in faith I claimed the sureity and safety of our faithful Redeemer for each of my radiant brothers and sisters witnessing with their lives of at Lambeth.

I don’t know of another time in my life when the blessings and practice have been this redemptively close to the bone- and that’s saying a lot, as those who know me can attest. Equally implicit is both the blessing of my Anglican baptism and faith, and being born a gay man in the image and likeness of the living God. Both of which, with time, I have learned to give thanks for.

Interesting time- indeed.

And so, one breath at a time, though God’s grace alone, we prayerfully proceed; always with an eye out for the wonder of being surprised by joy and with an abiding sense of our blessedness.

Humbly offered by one of the least, but most blessed of you, your brother in Christ Jesus

David@Montreal

Towards God’s greater blessing, to God’s greater glory- always & unconditionally!

Richard Rohr O.F.M.

2008-07-04T05:43:00.001-07:00

Another one of those wondrous, unexpected adventures in grace.

A dear on-line friend sent along a quote which he thought might be appropriate to the shared support we are currently offering a mutural on-line buddy. It was by Richard Rohn O.F.M. yet another radiant life I had never come across.

As per usual, the quote, lead to some background research; led to an impressive, interesting Google search and to Father Rohr's official website.

It also led to a surprisingly succinct collection of four quotes by Father Rohr on the Wikepedia site of all places; each of which stands on its own, but together encapsulate so much of what is currently at stake in our blessed Communion.

So without comment, or further ado

"The question for us is always 'how can we turn information into transformation?' How can we use the sacred texts to lead people into new places with God, with life, with themselves?"

"We have for too long been reading sacred texts from our dualistic consciousness, split from the very mystery that the story of the birth of Jesus seeks to reveal." -Jesus in the Manger: A Story of Transformation

"Jesus is the universalist par excellence, always making the outsider the heroes of his stories: the non-Jews appear as those with more faith and more compassion, the sinners become those who are saved, the women better than the men, and as he continually puts it, 'the last will be first'." -Awakened and Astonished

"At last we have a group of dedicated Christians who are willing to use disciplined and Christian means of nonviolent protest against its church's failure to live the Gospel.... Our gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered brothers and sisters have been left outside of his realm of grace for far too long. We can do so much better, and we will." - Letter of Endorsement to Soulforce, a lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender organization

Amen.

Richard Rohr O.F.M.

2008-07-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

Checking my dance card

2008-06-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

Just how much posturing, dishonesty, threats and duplicity is the average person to take from those in certain quarters who claim to be the ‘confessing’ leadership of our Church?

And then, of course, in other well-intentioned quarters, there’s the diplomatic silences and ineffective fumbling & bumblings of those who fear being expelled, or in one particular case at least, those who have been almost-hypnotized into ineffectiveness by staring down their own ‘worst case scenario-‘ the rupture of the Communion.

One thing I’ll give ‘em- the only thing I’ll give them- those dissembling bullies of Gafcon, they sure know where it hit for maximum effect those of us walking the tightrope of a living faith we average Christians walk every day. And more specifically in the case of we LGBT people of faith, in that place of waiting in hope for our often-abusive parent (the Church) to come to its senses, to own the effect of their past actions, and to open their eyes and hearts to the true and lasting work of reformation and renewal the Holy Spirit is working in the Church in these times.

Please don’t misunderstand me- when I look at the big picture, or the long run and remember the wondrous fruits of renewal, healing and reconciliation I find going on throughout the Communion and in the lives of so many LGBT folk, I am anything but despairing. But the fact is that once again, I and an untold numbers of brothers and sisters throughout the world have had to witness men with all the outer accoutrements of leadership within our Church resorting to formulas which, for generations have caused untold damage to countless LGBT lives of faith. (Their lack of originality of course only confirms their real impotence)

What saddens me even more however is the silence and ineffective bumblings in other quarters of the Church as certain of the apparent leadership try to hold on to their own version of what effectively no longer exists i.e. a whole Communion. ( ++Katherine and a cherishe brother ‘in the eye of the storm’ being the two most visible, radiant exceptions to this passive despair.)

The bottom line (the most glaring example perhaps) is the accumulated time and energy which has been expended by the collective Church responding to or dancing around the venomous outbursts, priacy, threats and posturing of brothers who have knowingly & intentionally chosen to alienate themselves from us. (A tremendously greater investment than that the Church has made in learning from & listening to the witness of our LGBT lives of faith, which was supposed to have been their declared intent.)

Slipping on my ‘organizational transformation’ cap, I can’t be too surprised by the outcome of Jerusalem.

Of course they’re not ‘leaving’. Being a lot more savvy (bullies often are) than many voices of inclusion, they’ve realized the limits of their threats, (and just how much they might lose in real estate and loot by storming out.)

Typical bullies they ‘want their cake and to eat it too,’ and have no qualms about dismantling the Church as we know it, re-writing decades of Spirit-lead embodiment, scholarship and renewal within the Communion, and remaking the household in their own grasping likeness.

Staggered only a little more than momentarily by the Jerusalem pronouncement and a sound bite on the CBC of the ‘Australian voice of Gafcon’ talking of ‘defending ourselves from post-Modernity’ and ‘rescuing’ folks, I hauled out my bench and sat in prayerful silence, resorting to the elements of practice counting the breaths at first to get beyond the verbal mis-representation and patriarchal posturing I’d just read.

In the long run though none of this should really prove all that surprising...

As much sharper minds than mine have long ago witnessed, this is about a whole lot more than the consecration of a single bishop, the blessing of the committed lives of faith and faithfulness of our LGBT brothers and sisters, or even the ordination and consecration of our sisters in faith- (all three of which I would suggest have been the means for endless blessing in the continued life of our Church.).

it’s even greater than colonialism or post-colonialism as Gafcon would suggest.

Yes, in part at least, it has something to do with embracing and learning to the fullness of our Divinely created humanity

Yes, in part a least, it has to do with power

Essentially however what’s at stake here is our understanding and experience of the meaning of our individual and collective lives, and our relationship with God who since the beginning of time has ‘loved us beyond our wildest imagining’ and Whose Love has too long put up with the posturing, pronouncements and theatre of men as they try to colonize and create franchises of that Love.

Of course there’s also our stewardship of the planet and the botched job the patriarchy has done of that

The care we take or refuse to take of our brothers and sisters living in poverty, with illness, or fear for their lives

There’s our understanding of God’s bounty and how grossly disproportionally certain humans have chosen to distribute it

There’s the impotent prison of self-alienation patriarchy would perpetuate, which bumbles all too often off to war; squandering the bounty of this earth on great arsenals ‘just in case’ and then becoming their own self-fulfilling prophecy

There’s the objectification of any difference outside patriarchy’s collective small mind, and the generations of violence, alienation and the empovrishment this has brought about

None of which denies that wondrous, unfailing love ‘beyond our wildest imagining,’ it only confirms the self-destructiveness of patriarchy and dualistic thinking.

As more than one radiant life has recently witnessed what we’re suffering at present are the violent last grasps of patriarchy.

Patriarchy which is implicitly dualistic to shore up its illusion of authority, its privilege & its excesses.

Patriarchy which arrogantly disassociates itself from the excesses, lies and abuses of the past in the Church and which denies itself the lessons, grace and healing in those same difficult truths

Patriarchy which judges, objectifies, orders & condemns, inspite of Scriptures injunction that we judge not, lest we be judge.

Patriarchy, which is implicitly monolithic: requiring a ‘them’ to sustain the illusion of a chosen ‘us’; a monolith built on the backs those who seemingly don’t know better, all too often all the while isolating itself from the lived reality of the faithful.

Almost sounds like a medieval curia to me, and ‘Curia ain’t no compliment’ to quote a dear acquaintance of mine.

So what do we do?

Building on the norms of inclusion and non-dualistic communication and the example of so many of radiant brother and sisters in faith who have claimed the promise of their baptism both in the Church and on-line, I would suggest that more than ever we are called to embody the future Church the Holy Spirit is leading us into.

A muscled embodiment which doesn’t resort to dualism, or condemnation, threats or name-calling, but which is the radiant, loving proof of Christ’s redemptive power in our lives.

A muscled embodiment which isn’t afraid of honest Scriptural study: God doesn’t need us to lie on her behalf.

A muscled embodiment which owns and learns from the centuries since the scriptural canon was closed: God didn’t go into hibernation when they closed the canon.

A muscled embodiment which honours and makes room for the experience & witness of all the faithful in its rites and liturgies.

A muscled embodiment which discerns between cultural norms and the true revelation of the Good News of Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God.

A muscled embodiment confident enough to learn and grow from the experience of other traditions and faiths.

A muscled embodiment not afraid to listen, to share, to apologize.

A muscled embodiment not afraid to establish limits to the behavior we find acceptable, and to act on those boundaries

A muscled embodiment which is not afraid to take God at his/her Word.

Sitting here, gratefully aware of many of the wondrous examples we have throughout the Church of this radiant, muscled embodiment, there are two portions of Scripture resonating within me:

Corinthians 13 ( the way forward)

and Romans 8: 38-39 (the promise)

So what more could be ask?

And as to that ‘big picture’?

It’s inevitable- the monolith of patriarchy is a self-consuming beast- their anger, venom and self-delusion makes it so. A creature which sees itself called to ‘protect itself’ and ‘rescue people’ bound to starve in its self-created fortress.

They just don’t get it.... before all the canons, the recognition of the sacramental, before all the orders and liturgies there was and is God’s inestimably precious gift of Life itself; the original, un-mediated sacrament; forever changed and redeemed by the life, teachings and sacrifice of our radiant Lord Jesus Christ.

One day, we’re all going to be dancing on the tomb of ‘patriarchy’ and if he’s lucky- real lucky, i just might invite +Peter to join- he is a brother after all. But he’s going to have to be patient- my dance card’s filling up pretty fast ( many of them names you might recognize)- more radiant brothers and sisters who have blessed my life than you can ever imagine, and +Peter will have to wait his turn.

But oh we’ll dance! To the Greater Glory of God- with deep and with profound gratitude for the lives of faith who have gone before, and in absolute wonder at the miracle God will have wrought.

Undoubtedly still in the thick of process now- that same process itself stands proof of life in the Church, of the larger lives we are called to and of the actively engaged, patient, loving God who is calling us.

Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Amen.

Prophetic pieces

2008-06-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

What a week!
Two incredible documents of faith crossed my path, and I'm not referring to either the Windsor Report or the latest self-important pronouncement from the gang of pirates wandering between Jordan and Jerusalem.

Remarkable for several reasons, they're articles, speaking with voices of Anglican witness, appearing in rather surprising quarters- which should be a lesson in itself about underestimating the grace of our loving God.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/141505
'Let Me Worship As I Am' (NEWSWEEK)is a powerfully honest witness to the healing, health and humanity Jimmy Doyle has found in the Episcopal Church, at times inspite of the opinions and issues which might incline him to stay in bed some Sunday mornings.

http://MEN.STYLE.COM/GQ/FEATURES/FULL?ID=CONTENT_698
LET GOD LOVE GENE ROBINSON (GQ Magazine) is the result of an in-depth interview with the living blessing currently occupying the Episcopacy of New Hampshire.

Both powerful pieces of writing, both moved me to tears of joy and gratefulness. Both also reminded me powerfully of what an awesome blessing it is to be alive in the Church in these times, to witness and to participate in the incredible reformation of the 'structures' and a breaking-open of our lives in/of a God who 'loves us beyond our wildest imigining.'

I encourage you to bless your day with both articles, and find your own joy and blessedness in the witness of these three brothers (Jimmy, +Gene and Andrew Corsello the author of the GQ piece).

Both articles have within them a prophetic voice which speak to the incredible work I believe the Holy Spirit is working in our Communion for all humanity.

Jimmy Doyle: 'It is right to stand before God as I am, and speak my own truth.'

As to the article on dear +Gene, I'm not even going to try to lift extracts. I'll warn you though, watch out for when the blessed man cuts to the quick of the current situation, when he speaks of fear. Which of course resonnated with his witness on the same emotion in his new book ' In the Eye of the Storm: Swept to the Center by God.'

All of which only resonates even more within me because of a rather remarkable series of exchanges I've been having with a 'shanga brother' who like me was damaged in the name of God and who calls himself a 'intellectual Buddhist' ( more on that another time.)

Writing this, I am only too aware of how far short my efforts fall of doing any of these remarkable men the credit they deserve for the blessings they have brought me this week. All I can do is urge/encourge you to access the links;to get +Gene's book, and find your own joy and blessings in these exceptional gifts.

for God's Greater Blessing, to God's Greatest Glory- always & unconditionally

David@Montreal

How often are we able to make such a concrete difference

2008-06-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

You know I wouldn't be bothering you if this wasn't essential

To one degree or another we've all lived reminders of just what a scary place the world can be at times.

Some of us have paid a very real price for the violent fear of others
And some of us have also been mightily blessed to meet others who have paid, and who continue to pay that price in larger, more real ways than we will ever have to.

I'm referring to the Bishop +Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire who, with his beloved partner Mark was obliged to live with bodyguards in the weeks and months between his election and his Consecration as Bishop of New Hampshire. Who with Mark had to wear full body armour under their vestments at his Consecration.

The same man who continues to live and preach the unconditional love of God for all creation- a passionate love 'beyond your windest imagining.'

The same man who continues to speak love to those who curse and abuse him, the same man who offers to meet and share with those same 'brothers in Christ.'

The same man who has put up with the cowardly waffling of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and yet who has urged his brother bishops to turn up for a key church event he is being excluded from.

Well +Gene and Mark, with a great crowd of LGBT witness of faith are going to be at Lambeth.

Not protesting, witnessing.

Willing to meet, to share, to witness and to pray with those present.

Lambeth yes, but out there in the same world which continue to include regular death threats against these two brothers.

Lambeth yes, but out there in the same world where gay and lesbian men and women continue to pay with their lives, continue to suffer curses and condemnation in provinces of the church.

Lambeth yes, but even before the first prayer's been invoked, the threats have not only been made against Mark and +Gene on two continents, they've even invaded their home via their answering machine.

So this is where you come in...

A sad and scary world which requires body amour for a rite of Consecration...

Unfortunately one of the necessary costs for the LGBT presence at Lambeth is protection for +Gene and Mark, and that costs.

Canon Elizabeth+ Kaeton (part of the Lambeth Initiative) and the good folks at St. Paul's Chatham have made it possible for us to have our own presence at Lambeth- by contributing to the cost of security for +Gene, Mark and our LGBT brother and sisters of faith.

Details can be found at Elizabeth+'s blog http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com

And this is legit.

I'll personally vouch for Elizabeth+ and her long involvement in the cause of full inclusion of LGBT folk.

And I'm not asking anything I haven't already done myself.

As strange as it might seem, as much as it's about amounts, it's the initiative which is essential here- you can make a difference by doing the do-able.

For me personally, it was also an act of faith in that same 'Love beyond our wildest imagining.'

As some of you will already know my employment at the University is being 'phased out' in a month, as part of the exercise to balance a fourteen million dollar deficit.

So as I said, it's doing what you're able which is essential here.

Paypal or personal cheque.

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender folk have too long a martyrology already- and you CAN make a difference, by doing what you are able.

This isn't just about +Gene and Mark- it's about birthright- our birthright as sons and daughters of the Living God- about claiming the blessings of our baptismal covenant- about embodying that 'Love beyond our wildest imagining'- it's about being 'truly alive' which we're told is only to the greater glory of that same Living God.

Amen

Who would have thought?

2008-05-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

This morning's New York Times carries a story with a number of remarkable reminders buried in its simple resonant truth.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/30/nyregion/30paterson.html?hp 'How Govenor Set His Stance on Gay Rights.'

At its simplest, it's the story of one remarkable human being stepping up to the plate,speaking from his heart and lived experience; in the process bringing about a bureauceatic system to recognized the God-blessed, Divinely-crafted dignity of countless LGBT folk and their loving lives.

But keep reading... it's also a story, within a story... Two young boys in Harlem, entrusted by their busy parents to their 'Uncles', who not only babysat, but nourished and encouraged the boys, who told them stories and helped with their spelling homework.

In other words gave them cause to feel loved, safe, and cared for.

Two uncles who also happened to be a gay couple living in Harlem, all those decades ago- not exactly the gay-friendliest of quarters from all that I hear. And yet Governor Paterson tells us “I was raised in a culture that understood the different ways that people conduct their lives. And I feel very proud of it.”

A standard which might do Lambeth proud, perhaps?

But keep reading... the good Govenor reminds us, “In many respects, people in our society, we only recognize our own struggles. I’ve wanted to be someone in the African-American community who recognizes the new civil rights struggle that is being undertaken by gay and lesbian and transgendered people.”

Govenor Paterson's two 'uncles' were Uncle Stanley and Uncle Ronald, and all I can say is God bless you two wonderful human beings- wherever you are!

What an incredible chain of grace- starting with the most ordinary of things.... babysitting, spelling homework and of course, telling stories. And in the process, a lot more was set in motion than the simple helping-out of two busy parents.

One of those boys, as we now know grew to be the current Govenor of the State of New York. The same being responsible for the record-breaking inclusion of 'sexual orientation' for the first time in state human rights legislation. The same person, who recently issued his executive order to recognize our peoples' 'out-of-state' marriages an important first step in full marriage equality for the state.

For me the clincher- the proof of the Govenor's radiant humanity was this- speaking after the passage of the earlier legislation, he said “Now I can die in peace.If nothing else ever happens here, I feel that I can point to a contribution that I made.”

Just imagine -stick with me here brothers and sisters- just imagine the unadulterated joy and wonder our secessionist brothers and sisters will know when they finally 'get it' about the unconditional Love of God for all creation, the unique efficacy of the grace of Christ's redemptive sacrifice and the limitless patience of the Holy Spirit.

Not that Govenor Paterson's story lets any of us off the hook.

Before anything else, this article is a powerful reminder of the sacramental nature of the most elementary things in our everyday lives of faith.

Need, Trust, Babysitting, Spelling & Storytelling... the most ordinary elements. And yet we will never know how many lives have been blessed, enobled & made easier by the chain of grace in Govenor Paterson's own life and his acting on that same grace.

Talk about sacramental embodiment!

Who would have ever thought, the New York Times?

The Radiant Bodyguard

2008-04-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

It could be YOU.
No fees. No sign-up. Not even a uniform!
Just ‘you in your small corner, and I in mine,’ to quote the old Sunday School hymn.
The Radiant Body Guard needs YOU!

Most of us have read of the recent ‘Claiming the Blessing’ work session held in the Glorious Diocese of New Hampshire, preparatory to Lambeth 2008. It’s only one of many reasons which give me great hope verging on anticipation for the great blessings I believe the Holy Spirit has in store for Lambeth 2008.

This, of course, inspite of the cowardly waffling on the part of certain leaders.

This inspite of all the noise, acrimony and ugly misrepresentations from our patriarchally-challenged brothers

Bottom line, this Church is still the living body of Jesus Christ, Radiant Son of God, and as never before Lambeth and the Episcopate of our Communion are going to have a chance to be blessed by a LGBT presence like no other!

LGBT brothers and sisters from all over the world, making countless untold sacrifices to witness by their living presence- there in Lambeth.

None of them invited- but each of them acting on their hard-won faith to claim the blessings of their baptism, to turn up on the outside chance that the Episcopate might finally start acting on their oft-repeated promise to actively listen to the witness of our LGBT community of faith within the Church.

And if you’re anything like me you’re almost aching to be there- to take your place on the line with those brothers and sisters in faith- to be a visible presence, a living embodiment of the grace of Christ Jesus in our LGBT lives.

But this is exactly where you and I come in.

No matter how many of our radiant brothers and sisters make it to Lambeth we all know who the point man is going to be.

Who is paying the biggest price.

Who’s suffering calumny and rejection with our Lord.

Who, with Christ Jesus is being objectified, denied and shut-out.

And you don’t need to me to remind you what a confused, suffering and sorry world it is we’re all working to heal. We live, work and witness in it daily.

The issue of +Gene and Mark’s safety has been on my heart for a long time. Never forget, this is the brother who, with his spouse had to wear full body armour under his vestments at the sacred rite of his Consecration- not because of Muslim terrorists, but because of ‘fellow Christians.’

On my heart, and integral to my daily practice and prayers.

But we are neither helpless or alone in this- individually and together we have the unfailing grace of our Lord Jesus and His love - a Love beyond our wildest imagining, to quote a certain radiant brother in Christ Jesus.

So what I’m proposing is a covenant of daily prayer- world wide- three times daily... starting with +Gene and Mark’s continued protection, but growing to eventually include all of our LGBT representatives by name ( I’m working on that). And eventually..... well, how about claiming in the name of Christ Jesus the joyous wonder and awe I believe the Holy Spirit is preparing for Lambeth 2008.

Literally no limits to the grace we can claim in the name of our Lord Christ Jesus.

And it’s already started...

When the idea persisted earlier today I cast my bread upon the waters by e-mailing an individual in California who has become right-precious to me- and in less than an hour she’d already forwarded the appeal to more than forty of her parishoners and partners in prayer.

Next test, a semi-closeted colleague who never hesitated a moment.

Lambeth 2008 officially starts July 16,2008 and runs until August 3, with Pre-Conference events July 10-15th.

Whatever your practice- intercession- asperation- meta- affirmation- asked in the name of Christ Jesus I truly believe we’re in for some awesome wonder out of this Lambeth Conference. Steps in the on-going renewal and transformation of humanity’s relationship with God and the lives S/He has blessed us with- but wonder nonetheless.

Three times a day- lovingly confident in the faith we have been blessed with- claiming the blessing by blessing those who witness for us.

Lambeth watch out!

You've heard of the proverbial ole 'ring of steel?' Well I'm talking one wondrous ring of LGBT faith in prayer, surrounding +Gene and Mark, spreading out to cover all the brothers and sisters witnessing for us at Lambeth, weaving through the hearts and minds of the Primates and Bishops- all to the Greater Glory of God!

Another radiant chance to act on Saint Mychal Judge's injunction to 'Don't let the Church get in the way of your relationship with God'

We’re here! We’re queer! Now let us pray!

For God’s Greatest Blessing- to God’s Greater Glory- Alway & Unconditionally!

Amen.

Woah! Time for a reality check?

2008-02-17T03:05:00.000-08:00

Quite the week, and it's rare that the causal connection between two of their stories has been writ so large in the media.

The 5 primates boycotting Lambeth, whining about how they have 'not been able to take communion' with Presiding Bishop ++Katherine Jefferts Schori and their inability to tolerate the presence of duly elected, confirmed and consecrated Bishop V.+Gene Robinson and his partner at Lambeth; and the murder of a 15 year old gay man in his high school cumputer lab. Does anyone else see a connection here?

I'm not for a moment suggesting that Brandon David McInerney has even heard of Lambeth, the pouting Primates, ++Katherine or +Gene; but he did pull that trigger because Lawrence King was 'freaking the guys out,' to quote one of their female class-mates.

What we're talking about in both instances is violence- and nothing less. A violent intollerence of difference,a refusal to learn or enrich their own lives by recognizing the Divinely-made humanity of that difference.

Bullies, through verbal or physical violence trying to impose their handicaped version of reality on others.

As if that wasn't enough the Primates go on to complain about the anticipated presence of 30 LGBT activists a Lambeth; Baptized Anglicans, many who are daily paying a price for their visibility and ministry as people of faith. And yet the 'purity police of the patriarchy' complain 'We would be the continual target of activist campaigners and media intrusion. In these circumstances we could not feel at home."

You bet your sweet corziers you would be!
And deservedly so- because the spectacle of violence, threats, mysogeny and homophobia in the name of God are such shameful scandals in this day and age they are worthy little more than the Entertainment News in the mind of many disaffected and recovering Christians.

As if this weren't enough, the week ended with this final insult, from +Cantebury himself, speaking of the pouting Primates' decision to boycott.

'Williams said the decision of some to be absent from Lambeth "not only shows the deep differences over theology and ethics that have so strained our connections; it also reflects, uncomfortably for us, some of the legacy of hurt that is felt by some of our provinces at what is experienced as patronizing or manipulative or insensitive actions and attitudes on the part of many of the churches of the 'West' or 'North' -- not only the Episcopal Church in the USA...That's hard to hear, but we have to hear it and to offer apologies and seek for better understanding. Lambeth can't be the end of the story."'

Excuse me?

What about the generations of violence, fear & homophobia spawned by the purple-shirted patriarchy and their kind?

What about the LGBT lives terrorized, cut short or handicapped by centuries of objectification, hatred and violence of LGBT people?

What about the countless lives of faith, hurt, confused or alienated from their own spirit because of the hatred and objectification of LGBT people of faith practiced by their priests and bishops?

Never has it been clearer- to me at least, what a rediculous spectacle these men are making of the redemptive love embodied in the life and ministry of our Lord's incarnation.

Ignoring, more than a hundred years of science, psychology & law they make a shameful spectacle of themselves by displaying just what an archaic artifact their understanding of the Gospel and Christian faith is.

Shame on them!

Incapable of understanding or dialoging with contemporary understanding of human nature, they insist on the subjegation of more than one half of humanity and a medieval condemnation of anything inconsistent with their hetrosexually-challenged masculinity.

Shame on them!

And shame on ++Rowan Williams too.

It's not as if there's ever a lack of human suffering to justify any argument, but once again ++Rowan, you, as our currently most visible embodiment of patriarchy have dismissed by omission the role of our Church in centuries of homophobic violence and discrimination; you've devalued the prayerful execise in faith of the people of New Hampshire; you've objectified and discriminated against a duly elected and consecrated brother Bishop and discounted the lives of all American Anglicans.

As if that weren't enough, your cowardly inaction and ineffective pronouncements have tolerated Episcopal piracy, the virulent oppression of LGBT men and women of faith, the scandalization of countless others & the public ridicule of our faith.

When is enough, enough ++Rowan? When do YOU draw your line in the sand.

Of course we LGBT folk have gained two more saints this week:

Saint Lawrence King pray for us
Saint Jody Debrowski pray for
Saint Matthew Shepard pray for us
Saint Mychal Judge pray for us
Saint Aaron James Light pray for us
Saint Billy Jack Gaither pray for us
Saint Barry Winchell pray for us
Saint Dejsn Nebrigic pray for us
Saint Steen Keith Fenrich pray for us
Saint Arthur Warren Jr. pray for us
Saint Marcus Wayman pray for us
Saint Danny Lee Overstred pray for us
Saint fred Martinez Jr. pray for us
Saint Arthur Warren pray for us
Saint Jeff Wahlen pray for us
Saint Edgar Garzon pray for us
Saint Gary Matson pray for us
Saint Winfield Mowder pray for us
Saint David Buller pray for us
Saint Harvey Milk pray for us

All you LGBT saints unknown to us,but martyrs to difference pray for us

And pray that the Anglican Communion learn to repent of its role in the homophobia & violence which murdered each one of you.

I'm tired of the martyrdom of my people at the hands of frightened homophobes, the gossip & objectification of my brothers and sisters by the insecure and imature, the discrimination and oppression of difference... because in the end fear is what it's all about... fear (or the inability to live & interact with) difference.

All of us should be praying for Brandon David McInerney- the poor, misguided 14 year old, 'freaked out' by Lawrence's difference, who probably doesn't even understand the forces at play that day- even less does he understand himself.

One thing the patriarchy is always very good at- condemning and punishment. Brandon is charged with 'murder, with hate crime and firearms enhancements- 25 years inprisonment, with an additional 25 years for the 'enhancements'.

And just where is the redemption in all this legal efficiency?
Is anyone even speaking with the boy- because a boy is what he is?
Is anyone ministering to his fear, his pain and witnessing to the unconditional love of Christ Jesus for him personally- a love beyond his 'wildest imagening'?
Is anyone even trying to understand what he was feeling and thinking?
Anyone showing him how he's been duped by the frightened lies of a bunch of impotent bullies?

All you gay saints and martyrs pray for Brandon David Mc Inerney.

Amen.

Confidence & harm

2007-12-29T02:57:00.000-08:00

Call me a naive Canadian, but in the last several days as so many of us have wept. grieved & prayed over the recent outrage at St. Nicholas Episcopal Church, Atwater CA, I’ve become quite concerned that we brothers and sisters of Christ’s fullest blessing not unwitingly harm ourselves, each other, or the Church of Christ Jesus.

Perhaps the most unfortunate instance of this was insistence of a couple of 'our' blogs on using a seriously unflattering photo of John-David Schofield in their reporting. Most of you will know which unfortunate picture I’m referring to.

I’m not disputing the picture was taken. I’m not disputing the man was there, holding that piece of paper. But unfortunately in the current context, this photograph objectifies a man, who, whatever else is still our brother in Christ, and who was created in the image and likeness of God. I might even suggest that use of this photo is personally invasive, as it hauls a brother’s personal issues into the public forum of faith in a context which has nothing to do with what’s currently going on.

I mean, I haven’t heard of anyone using this photo offering to meet with John-David to help and counsel on his personal pain.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I’ve wept and sat vigil with the people of St. Nicholas, Atwater, as so many of my radiant brothers and sisters have, and yes, for a moment, when reading a report I wailed ‘why the isn’t anyone doing something?

And on the next breath I regained my senses…
I might even suggest that what we have here is a perfect example of my sense of what’s truly going on in the Church right now– in the bigger picture of living process- that of Christ leading His Church out of centuries of frightened dualistic thinking.

No one needs to be objectified

No one needs to be called names

So long as we remember that what’s going on here is process, a dance of change & transformation, and we (humanity) are only one of the dancing partners- thank goodness & THANK GOD!

This is still the Church of Jesus Christ, Son of the True & Living God

And to momentarily resort to Holy Scriptures; it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God

so of course nothing’s going to be easy or run smoothly

we’re all being call forth out of fear,

we’re all being called into a larger, clearer, living experience of God’s passionate love and unconditional blessing… ‘a love beyond our wildest imagining’ to quote one blessed brother yet again.

we’ve all got healing and growth- and Christ’s necessary grace- to engage in here.

No more guys in black hats and white hats- this is not an old western movie. This is Christ Jesus, working through all of us to move us – the Church- beyond the fearful need to objectify, to damn, to conquer, to destroy- all verbs too commonly found in Christian history.

Working to move us into becoming the most radiant, unconditional embodiment of God’s love humanity has ever known.

An embodiment of Christ’s love ‘beyond our wildest imagining’ (and you all know where I got that from).

There is no way, the words or actions of John-David Schofield at St. Nicholas Episcopal Church, Atwater, CA can be justified, excused or explained as anything other than what is so obvious to us. But in the end, his true accountability for everything, like ours, is to the true & living God.

And in the meantime our responsibility has to be to not lose sight of our vocations as baptized Christians, as a people of hope, working with Christ Jesus for the renewal of His Church.

Yes, ache & get angry, but we can’t let that pain and anger stop us from being there for the people of St. Nicholas, and all the other parishes being manhandled in a similar manner.

Yes, ache & get angry, but we can’t let that pain and anger stop us from being there to listen to the hurt, confusion and disillusionment of our fellow Christians over the antics of certain ‘professional ‘ religious.

Yes, ache and get angry but we can't let otrage be our only witness or presence in our collective vocation of radiant embodiment.

Yes, ache and get angry, it can't stop there, or we’ll never see past the fear, to glimpse the active, working presence of Christ, who has promised to never abandon his flock.

And perhaps nothing has embodied that fearful thinking more than the rare anger or concern I’ve read about ++Katherine’s presence in all of this.

Where is she? What’s she doing? Essentially is what more than one voice has been asking,

It may just be my personal opinion, but as much as I honor and admire this particular sister-in-faith, a white cowboy hat might look slightly ridiculous on herright now, and riding into Atwater, both guns blazing would hardly do honor to the office of Presiding Bishop or the Church.

The bottom line is that ++Katherine, like the rest of us, is accountable to Canon Law, which has been prayerfully writ over time, in a conscious effort to know the will of the Holy Spirit, alive and at work in the Anglican Communion- exactly where we all find ourselves right now.

And that Canon Law provides our secessionist brothers a breathing spell of a specific duration in which they’re given a chance to reconsider and renounce their earlier actions.

And I would suggest that by respecting this requirement ++Katherine is showing herself to be a living embodiment of the best of Anglican tradition and practice.

Hurt, confused, angry, worried for the future of the Anglican Communion probably describes all of us in the fellowship of full inclusion right now. But it’s essential that none of us unwittingly play into the secessionist agenda by re-acting to whatever they do, or by adopting their frightened dualistic ideology and language.

One of the great blessings of my sitting practice is the understanding that to re-act is to always respond from a position of weakness or defeat to another’s action.

Bottom line: Jesus Christ is to be found in the thick of this work of transformation- this breaking open and transformation of all of our understandings and experience of the living Christ in our midst.

And my sense is equally that as far as Canon Law allows that’s also where +Katherine is aiming for. She did send her legal and clerical representatives to witness the events of Advent IV at St. Nicholas Episcopal Church. She has put the other secessionist bishops on notice, and never was our sister’s radiant grace more evident than when she side-stepped the antics of +Peter et al at the celebration of the Blessed Sacrament in Tanzania.

As scary, confusing and uncertain as it may feel at times, none of us is alone in this.
We are the Body of Christ, and as a living body, I would suggest that if we have faith, the only appropriate image for the current process is ‘growing pains.’

Growing pains and a glorious calling forth out of fear and fearful thought, speech and action.

Growing pains in a vocation of radiant transformation.

Growing pains which as any parent will tell us are a sign of health, a sign of life, and for me nothing stands proof of this more radiantly than all the wondrous brothers and sisters in faith who have stepped up to claim the promises of their baptismal vows, found their voices and bear witness to their radiant lives on faith- whether in the pew or here on the internet…. which includes each one of you m'dears.

Amen.

God’s Greatest Blessing, to God’s Greatest Glory- always & unconditionally

Fast'n Fabulious! (David's version)

2007-12-22T17:32:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'd like to share with you a recipe which over the last sixteen years has become a blessing in my Advent practice, when with the approach of the anniversary of the Blessed Incarnation, I am only too aware of the too many friends and clients we lost here in Montreal during the first two dacades of the holocaust of AIDS when I was privileged to be on the front line of service.

FAST'N'FABULIOUS FRUITCAKE (David's version)

2 1/2 cups (265ML) all-purpose flour
1 tsp (5ML) baking soda
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 jar (750ml) sweet Mincemeat
1 can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 cups chopped candied cherries*
1 cup candied ginger or gingembre en sirop, cut small
2 teaspoons of ginger powder
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 teaspoon of nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350F (150C). Grease two 9x5x3-inch (1.5L) loaf pans.
Stir together flour and baking soda; set aside. In large bowl, combine
eggs, mincemeat, Eagle Brand, chopped cherries and ginger. Add dry
ingredients; mix well. Divide batter between prepared pans. Bake 1 hour
and 20 to 25 minutes or until done. Cool 15 minutes. Turn out of pans;
cool completely. Garnish with candied cherries if you wish. Wrap well in
foil. Store in refrigerator or freezer

And like most things associated with this blessed time of year, there's a story associated with this recipe. As my first Christmas approached after the death of my sweet Louis, I knew that I had to do something purely out of personal need- that migtht be an act of faith- in those early months of grief you can't be sure- but at least it might be a step further in healing.

Some important background: not only was my sweet man a graduate of L'institute d'Hotelerie de Quebec here in Montreal, he was a master in the kitchen and had presided over more than one epicurian restaurant. As if that weren't intimidating enough, our Mam not only raised seven children on seriously limited resources; she constantly out-does herself in the kitchen as both a baker and a chef.

So that first Christmas, less than ten months after sweet Louis' death, I had more than enough reasons to give up before starting. Somehow I came across a recipe for Christmas fruitcake, and memories of the smells; both of Mam's Christmas kitchen and our kitchen when Louis baked, came flooding back.

The one thing which probably convinced me to try this particular version was the serious role sweet minemeat plays in it- I mean I love sweet mincemeat.
I was however baking for a particular group- our POZ men and women, so some tinkering was required ie. no cut fruit or nuts. So I substituted ginger- lots of ginger- good for digestion and the immune system, and jacked the other spices.

First year four cakes for the Centre's Christmas party where the only complaint was there wasn't enough to go around. So another six for the New Years Eve celebration.

Since then, a couple more receipes have become standard additions to my holiday kitchen therapy (ginger shortbread tomorrow)and the volume of my output might vary, but never since that first Christmas have I felt alone in the kitchen when I haul out the pans and all the fixins, and work my way through one batch after another.

So from Montreal, as we approach the wondrous feast of The Incarnation I'd offer it tonight, for all of those touched by the scourge of AIDS, for all of those who have known serious loss of any kind in the past year, and for you my blessed, radiant LGBT sisters and brothers of faith.

For God so loved the world...

Amen

Just a suggestion...

2007-12-18T07:20:00.000-08:00

Dear, dear +Rowan, you’ve got to feel for the man.

I mean, it isn’t as if he not trying, and he certainly challenges us, as he should,I suppose.

But seriously, I’m beginning to wonder if residence in Lambeth Palace might not be injurious for the health of our blessed Communion and of dear +Rowan’s efforts to play a meaningful role in the current situation.

Nothing a year-long sabbatical in a blue collar neighbourhood wouldn’t fix. Or if we’re really serious about a conscious effort to listen to my LGBT brothers and sisters of faith, how about finding the man sabbatical employment behind the bar of a LGBT establishment- collar, pectoral cross and all.

Yes, I’m still talking about the infamous Advent letter.

Not only does +Rowan persist in making the same, sad, categorical error of treating the consecration of +V. Gene Robinson and that of Martyn Minns as of the same nature and status; a re-reading of his letter this morning, saddened me greatly when I realized just how deeply entrenched +Rowan's assumptions are embedded in the monolithic thinking of the patriarchy.To say nothing of his body language in the most recent photo on-line

I’m sure it’s only an oversight on +Rowan’s part, but early on in his letter he cripples his representation by limiting the foundations of Anglican faith to only one of three traditional justifications for Anglican life and faith.

Scripture, tradition and reason +Rowan.

And this snow-bound morning here in Montreal I might be taking a slightly different view of just what Anglican tradition is, but please bare with me. Essentially, for me it looks like a continual calling forth out of fear and darkness and growth into an ever more authentic embodiment of our vocation to be the Living Body of Christ. Wether the issue was slavery, the objectification and persecution of our Jewish ‘elder brothers and sisters,’ the ownership of women and children, racism, exploitation of the earth or the civil and ecclesiastical rights of women. And of course, almost every time the Communion has been dragged, kicking and self-righteously posturing into a state of greater freedom and grace.

And the current situation is but another case in point, praise God!

Too often of late news of us Anglicans has been of 'splinters,’ ‘factions,’ ‘deadlocks,’ ‘impasse’ and ‘the rending of the Communion’. Makes good headlines, frightens and hurts a lot of the folks in the pew, and none more so than my blessed LGBT brothers and sisters of faith, but that’s not- read my lips, please- THAT’S NOT WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE FOLKS!

Inspite of all the nastiness and acrimony, inspite of the purple-clad misogyny directed at our beloved sister ++Katherine, inspite of the dark threats against our radiant brother +Gene and our other LGBT clergy on the front line, inspite of all the ranting, name-calling, posturing, and yes, even inspite of the scandalous dishonouring of the Blessed Sacrament at Tanznia, we are still the Church of Jesus Christ, called and blessed to be the Living Body of Christ, here on earth in these difficult times.

To make it simple:
we are all in process- a process which in time will be proven to be one of endless, wondrous grace
we are all stumbling forward in faith, to a larger clearer understanding of God’s radically unconditional love for each and everyone of us
we are all, in varying degrees I admit, learning yet again the miracle of the Incarnation
we are all hearing Christ’s call to step beyond the enslavement of fear
we are all stumbling, blundering or prayerfully walking towards lives and understanding of God’s faithfulness where Scripture no longer has to be used as a weapon, where Communion becomes a verb rather than a measure of membership or exclusion and where faith is what we embody rather than what we use as a filter against the life God has blessed us with.

So bottom line is though there may be ‘splinters’ (ouch!) and ‘factions,’ ‘deadlocks’ and ‘impasses’ they are only illusionary because this is the Living Body of Christ we’re talking about.

LIVING i.e. ‘In process’
LIVING i.e. growing, with God's grace, in our stature as children of the Living God, and in our understanding of God’s love
LIVING i.e. does anyone remember how noisy and confusing puberty was?

And as the Living Body of Christ we have Christ’s unfailing promise to support and bless his Church, we are each the living proof of His patience, mercy and grace, and none more so than my radiant LGBT brothers and sisters of faith.

Look back for a moment on that model of Anglican tradition as I have cast it, and each time Christ has used men and women of faith, usually on the margins of established Christianity, collectively or individually to be ‘a light unto the nations’ and it would appear to be that is what He is doing with an through our radiant LGBT faith community at this time.

Each time, Christ was calling us out of fear
Each time Christ was aching to free us of the smallness of our thinking, the fearfulness of our lives.
Each time Christ was leading us into a larger understanding and engagement with life
and never more clearly than now. Praise God!

Joan Didion, in her book ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ made a powerful gift to contemporary understanding when she popularized and articulated the practice of magical thinking. And if one is honest, far too much of Christian practice has resonated with the same fearful desperation- an insult to both the True & Living God, and to the humanity we have been blessed with.

To resort to the language of the dharma for a moment, I believe that what’s really going on here is an awesome calling by Jesus Christ, radiant Son of God for Christian men and women to step beyond the shadows of dualistic thinking. The ‘yes, but’ our lives continually send back to God; the ‘yes, but’ we continually impose between ourselves and those God brings into our lives, when we use our faith or religion to objectify them to a safe distance.

I’ve been doing some work lately with two sisters on their devastating grief following the death of their doting Italian mother. One of the exercises we worked with from my years of AIDS service, has to do with ‘difference’- what difference has their mother’s death made in their lives... And what I’m suggesting here is that if we’re looking at the only big picture that really counts, the current process our Communion is undergoing isn’t really different from any of the other chapters of Anglican tradition.

Jesus Christ is still the head of this Church
and the Holy Spirit continues to challenge, bless and sustain it, and to wait for us to catch up with the radiant, vibrant truth of God’s love for all Creation.

Never more so than now, in the season of Advent, I would dare the most cynical in the Communion to spend some serious time with the awesome reality of the Incarnation.

So don’t talk to me of ‘rending’ ‘ending’ or ‘tearing’
there is no human being walking the face of this earth capable of ending what the True and Living God put into motion in the Incarnation of our sweet Lord Jesus Christ
who, as one radiant brother keeps reminding us all loves us ‘beyond our wildest imagining’

‘For God so loved to world’ pointe-finale as we say in French.

Writing this, I can’t help but be mindful and deeply grateful of the many radiant LGBT lives of faith which support and nourish my practice, and of the many courageous allies we have found in this current conversation within the Communion. Nothing moves me more easily to tears of deep and abiding gratitude than the refusal of these living prophets to resort to the name-calling, threats and posturing of those who tremble with fear at the prospect of an inclusive faith; a family which doesn’t have to exclude to include, a society and world which doesn’t have to use God’s word as a weapon.

Did I say prophetic?

Yes I did, because if one truly looks at that ‘only big picture which really counts-’ God’s redemptive love, it is so very obvious that these radiant brothers and sisters who keep witnessing, who keep acting on Christ’s promises, who keep owning their baptism, who keep turning up at the table...can there be any possible doubt of the working of the Holy Spirit through these lives who have had to come so far, and paid so dearly for their witness.

I thank God for each and every one you- living blessings that you are.

And before I resort to quoting Romans 8 again, I’ll sign off, sure in the unconditional love of Christ, a love’ beyond our wildest imagining’

Amen

for God’s greatest blessing, to God’s Greatest Glory- always & unconditionally!

PS. And brother +Rowan, let me know where you’re ‘drawing the suds’, and we’ll try to arrange a flight over, to drop by for a chat. I’ve got a whole lot of wondrous friends you might want to meet and listen to.

Excuse me?

2007-12-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

O.K. I know it's been a while...
Honestly?

I've been taking a necessary time-out to deal with the accumulative wear-and-tear of so much patent dishonesty, self-righteous mis-representation and posturing directed at the friends of full inclusion and radical hospitality within our Communion.

I've been spending a lot of time in silence, in prayer & meditation and in dharma study.

As I confessed to a dear friend recently once again it's the Church doing violence to my spirit, causing me to bleed from a thousand and one cuts and leaving me exhausted. And its my non-religious Zen practice which not only gets me through, but keeps me sane and hoping. And before anyone calls me a heretic for praticing outside the Anglican canon, I'd invite them to plant their butt on my meditation bench or a while and see what I'm talking about.

But that's not what's got me back here this evening.

You might have guessed- it's +Rowan- once again.

Today brought news that the eminent gray beard of Cantebury has reitterated he will not be reversing his decision to exclude the Right Rev. and Very Honorable Bishop of New Hampshire from the upcoming Lambeth teaparty. (my original source 365gay http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/12/121407bish.)

And I quote...

Archbishop Rowan Williams' office said he had also not changed his mind about refusing an invitation to Martyn Minns, a traditionalist U.S. priest who was consecrated as a bishop in the Church of Nigeria.

EXCUSE ME?

Has the gray eminence never heard of a categorical error? Perhaps that's why he's making such an embarassingly colossal one himself.

There are absolutely no.... make that NO POSSIBLE GROUNDS for including the prayerfully, duly elected, consecrated Bishop of New Hampshire and Rev. Martyn Minns in the same discussion or decision. One, as I said was duly elected, confirmed and prayerfully consecrated; the other participated in an irregular act of consecration orchestrated by an ecclesiastical bandit acting in comtempt of both the Windsor Report and the Tanzania Declaration (a.k.a known as our brother in Christ +Peter).

That +Rowan persists in what is so obviously a patent whitewash of the real situation is bad enough, but he then resorts to Scriptural imagery when referring to possible boycots by some of the Lambeth invitees.

"I have said that the refusal to meet can be a refusal of the cross - and so of the Resurrection," Williams said.

Except that as we only too well know, it's not +Rowan and his invitees who are bearing the pain of the cross in this situation, it's my radiant LGBT bothers and sisters in faith throughout the world who are being objectified, vilified, railed against threatened and excluded- not only in their daily lives but within the living Body of Christ.

By excluding +New Hampshire from Lambeth +Rowan himself is himself refusing Chist's invitation to become an even more vital and honest embodiment of Our Saviour's redemptive love for all humanity.

By objectifiying the lives of faith of my radiant brothers and sisters in keeping our radiant brother +Gene from his rightful place at the table, +Rowan himself is perpetuating passive-aggressie homophobia and caving in to the ravings of the bullies of the patriarchy.

Yes, +Rowan, homophobia, because that's how it would be viewed in my country, Canada, and those of you who know we will understand how strange it is for me to resort to the 'rights argument' when for so long I have insisted the core issue of the current struggle is one of baptismal validity.

And of course the saddest thing of all is that the longer this goes on, the more irrelevant +Rowan's cowardly dithering is making the Church to so many observing us from any sort of a distance outside the Church.

All of which brings to mind a living saint Harry, who once again this Christmas will not be in the pew after a lifetime of extraordinary service by himself and his late wife to the parish I grew up in. And then there's my chance encounter this week with Jen, a street person carrying psychic bruises from the Church... but tonight +Rowan is more than enough, and he makes me so very, very sad.

I sit- in silence- with Willie the wondrous daschund nearby, and that's where Love finds me, with tears of gratitude not sadness as I remember another man who did a lot of harm to my radiant tribe, but who also give me the words for my defiant insistence on our Communion being open to God's greatest blessing for God's Greatest Glory:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

'Love beyond our wildest imagining' to quote another Living Blessing.

Amen